"I AM SHE-RA!"

So here it is--Afton's She-Ra costume! The kid loves this show. She watches it on Netflix all the time. But since it's so old, the only ready-made costumes of it are sexy adult ones. So Trevor and I made it ourselves! Here's how we did it:

First, the white body suit. Purchased from Amazon. $11.00.

I made the skirt myself--just sort of made it up. We had no patterns for any of it. I first practiced by making a small version of it for Afton's American Girl doll. And then I made hers and attached the belt do it. It's separate from the body suit.

The headpiece--Trevor made this himself with crafting foam, doing several layers. We bought the jewels for the whole costume at the Bead Fairy, and Trevor just painted them. It just attaches with elastic in the back.

The boots - Trevor was pretty awesome with these. We really didn't want to do ugly boot covers, so we found these plether boots at the D.I. for $4.00. Then we weren't sure how to paint them in a way that would allow them to stretch. So Trevor, being the genious he is, just covered them with the same material that we used throughout the costume. I couldn't believe how awesome they turned out!

Arm Bands - simple. Drew a pattern, cut it out of interfacing, then made a "pocket" of gold material to fit it and then turned it inside out, sewing the remining side. Then added velcro. Turned out awesome! I also made a gold choker, but you can't see it so well in the picture.

Wings and Isignia on front of body suit--We drew patterns of both of these, then pulled them into Photoshop to perfect them. Cut both of them out with my sister's awesome Silhouette machine. With the insignia, we cut it out with the sticky interfacing attached, and then just ironed it on the front. The wings we sewed them together, stuffed them, and sewed them on the front.

The cape - One side is crushed velvet, the other side satin. It was a real pain to sew. So glad Trevor did it and not me! It's just velcroed on to the body suit.

And last but not least--the SWORD. I don't feel that I can really describe this and do it justice, since this really was Trevor's project. It has a center core which he put inside foam, then basically carved it. Then he added layer after layer of latex, finally mixing the last layers with silver paint. I really can't explain it better than that--all I know is, it's awesome. Very light, and you can't hurt anyone with it.

And here she is all dressed up in it for the first time! Make sure you watch the end--it's my favorite!

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

Scarlett & Ripley are ONE!

Well, yesterday was a big day as my darling little twins turned one years old! I can't believe it's been a year! And yet, life before their arrival is a distant memory. That morning we bailed on church and instead went to Red Butte Gardens to take pictures and spend some time as a family. Every month for the first year of their lives, my children have a little photoshoot on or near their birthdays. I put this photo in their scrapbook. You can see all of them in the video at the bottom of this post. Here is a picture of all three of my little girls from our little excursion!

We had a little party at my house for them, and they got some wonderful gifts from family. This little kitty is seriously the cutest toy EVER. It has motion censors in it, so the kids chase it and it runs away. Both of them were chasing it all over the kitchen this morning.

The best part of the evening HAD to be the smash cakes. My sister-in-law made them, and they were so cute. Ripley, though the heavy-weight of the two, was really quite dainty about it. While Scarlett pretty much went ballistic. She had it everywhere. She finished first and we were cleaning her up when Ripley suddenly seemed to decide she was ready to just go for it. She demolished her cake in like 10 seconds. Unfortunately, our camera had run out of battery at this point, so my father-in-law took pictures and I don't have them from him yet, so no pictures of Ripley with her final smashed cake.

One thing I did was make a little video. We showed it to everyone at the party to start things off. I basically took videos and pictures from the first year of their lives, and my pregnancy, and put it to music. Its about 10 minutes long. I am adding it here for your viewing pleasure! I used all music from Laurie Berkner. I think it just turned out so cute! I think I might make it a new tradition--to make one each year for their birthday to show how they've grown!

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

I'm Doing It!

Well, it's official I have lost 10 lbs, and at last measuring, 18 inches. Hooray! I can't even begin to count the number of times I have started and then stopped attempting to lose weight. The only time I was truly successful was in 2004, when I lost 25 lbs and 42 inches. It ended when I started working as a teacher and felt it was difficult to keep it up. I still managed to keep the weight off, or within about the same range. But then I got married. Wow. So now, this is what happens: School gets out, I work out all summer, and then when school starts again, I completely lose all control and all interest.

NOT THIS YEAR, DAMNIT!!

It all started in early May when a co-worker of mine--the same one mentioned in the post above--started the Rotation Diet in order to lose a few pounds she'd gained after she got married. At first I was very skeptical--the diet calls for three days of 600 calories, four days of 900 calories, a week of 1200 calories, and then repeating the 600 and 900 week. After that, you're done.

This was against everything I had been taught. 1) You shouldn't eat that few calories 2) what happens when its all over? Where is the lifestyle change?

But I watched her lose weight. So I thought--I'll try it. Here's the thing--it totally worked for me. Why? Because it helped me achieve the mental change that I needed in order to really get started--and one thing I've learned about weight loss--it's all mental. What goes in your head is more important than what goes in your mouth. I had spent the last year eating whatever the crap I wanted, without pausing to ask if it was good for me or not. I didn't care. I lose weight during my pregnancies, and so during my pregnancy with the twins I ate with wild abandon. After the babies were  born I lost 45 lbs in less than a month. I weighed 20 lbs less than when I got pregnant in the first place. But it was deceptive weight loss and I knew it--I was flabby and my stomach looked horrible.  Then the habits continued during the school year, I gained 10 lbs, but more than that, I gained inches.

It was actually really easy, that first week. Mainly because I had felt so helpless to stop my eating habits, it felt really good to firmly tell myself "NO." I had a list of exactly what I could eat each day. There was no cheating--I just did it. I was grateful for every single thing I put in my mouth. I thought about every bite. And it worked. I don't think that NOW I could eat that little, but 1200 calorie days are not as impossible as I thought.

During the third week of my diet, I told myself, "NO! I am not going to fix my eating only to ruin it by not exercising too!" I have learned--you have to do BOTH if you want good results. So I started then and there, and have been working out 3-4 days a week ever since. Mostly P90X and The Firm. I'm telling you, buying the firm videos and the Firm Box was the best investment. I've used it SO much. Totally worth it. I got P90X of KSL a few years ago for only $50 and it was also a totally worth it investment. I like working hard and feeling the sweat and knowing I'm doing something about it.
That's why I'm writing this post. To remind myself, if the day ever comes again, that I LIKE THIS. When I am overweight and not doing anything about it, and I talk to family or friends about it, I tell them the following story:

"In 2004 when I lost all that weight, I told myself I would never get heavy again. Because now I knew what it takes. I knew what to do. I know what to eat, how to exercize. I know what it takes to get and stay thin. But now, that's exactly why I don't try. Because I know what it takes. I know how hard it is. I know how long it took and how much I had to work at it to get results. And I just don't want to do that again."

I am here to remind myself--THAT ISN'T TRUE. As time goes by, you forget what it was really like to lose weight. You forget that although its hard and time-consuming, it's also exciting and envigorating. I have more energy. I can't wait to get on the scale. I feel so STRONG, both mentally and physically, when I can tell myself NO to cookies and YES to push-ups. I love envisioning where I'll be a month from now. I took before and after pictures and although I still have a LONG LONG LONG way to go, I CAN see a difference.

As my friend Tony Horton says, "Just keep pressing play. Just keep pressing play."

When Did I Start Saying "I Can't?"

I was raised in an "I can" home. Somehow, we all knew that if we wanted to do it, we could. If I have an idea, it usually isn't long before its being implemented. Something takes hold of me, and I just think it through and get it done. I like this about myself. And in a lot of ways, I still am this way. I watch the progress we are making on our backyard, or a new project I've started with my students, and I know that I CAN achieve whatever I set my mind to.

But I've also started to realize that, in other previously strong areas of my life, I am always telling myself I can't do it. I am friends with two other teachers at my school who are both younger, prettier, skinnier, and cooler than me. I love both these women so much--they are, in some ways, what I used to be. They are just cool and fun. The kids love them. One is recently married and the other is getting married next month. Neither have children. They remind me of the kind of teacher I was about four years ago. Back when I was thinner, funner, crazier, and full of energy and optimism about my work. I know that as I get older, I am losing some of that youthful energy I once had--both as a person and as a teacher. But seeing these two women really brings it all to the forefront.

I used to get up in front of people and sing or dance, laugh, with no reservations. I used to read the announcements in an accent. My class was a comedy routine every day. I used to make up funny tricks to play on other teachers with my students. I used to be a good dancer--I used to be confident about my ability to move my body and make it do what I wanted. I used to just do crazy things, and my students loved it. Yesterday I was cleaning out my back room, and stumbled upon the 2004-2005 teacher group photo. It was my first year teaching. I was 26. And I was so CUTE. My hair was cute, my clothes were cute, my shoes were cute. I was about 30 lbs thinner. I had totally forgotten about that person.

Recently its like I'm getting a taste of it again. Yesterday we took our kids out for a fire drill and we were out there on the field for a long time. My kids were bored. So I threw candy at them. Then I made them do the wave. Then I told this girl that if she did her front hand spring, I would do a cartwheel. I just did a simple round-off--first once since I had my babies--but I heard about it all day long. "Mrs. Rees--I heard you did a cartwheel!" and "That was the funnest fire drill we've ever done!" And I'm kind of thinking, "That was nothing compared the crazy crap I used to do." Why did I stop? Why did I start saying I can't?

I've lost something of what I once was--it's been drowned in the stress of having children and being "tied down" all the time. Don't get me wrong--I love my kids with all my heart--but I think that once you have kids, you get so used to saying, "Oh, I have small children. I can't do that," that you really start to believe it--and apply it to just about everything. Anyway, that's what I've done. My kids are my eternal excuse for everything. Weight gain is another one--packing around 30 more pounds changes the image you have of yourself. But would losing weight really give me back that person? Well, I'm sure nothing can bring her back, but to get a piece of that again would be fantastic. Is it even possible?


When I was a kid, my mom had a Reba McIntire CD she played over and over. There was one song that I never quite understood the point of the lyrics. It never made sense to me. That's because I was a teenager. Now they are crystal clear:

Is there life out there? So much she hasn't done
Is there life beyond her family and her home
She's done what she should, should she do what she dares
She doesn't want to leave, she's jsut wonderin is there life out there

I don't feel like I should change the choices I made--I would make them all again. But I have gotten so sucked into my quiet stressful happy little world that I have left behind those parts of me that are not absolutely essential for survival, but also made my life and my work so much fun. I want to lose weight. I want to dance. I want to be just a little bit crazy--I guess I just really want to WANT those things--want them enough to actually make a change and then do them. I have recently started eating right and exercising again--for the first time in two years. Its part of why I am noticing my frumpy clothes, extra pounds, and tired lines around my eyes. I've let myself go. I still have small children, and I still have to say, "this is not the time in my life where I get to do _________." But there is still so much more I CAN do. So much life out there I'm missing. I don't want to lose the fun parts of myself that made my husband fall in love with me. The part that I see Afton developing as she dances around the livingroom, sings songs, greets complete strangers or performs for people. Is that something you CAN get back? Or am I just too old? Come on. Thirty-four can't be THAT old, right?

Backyard Makeover

So we are finally doing it. We are finally doing some sort of improvement on the OUTSIDE of the house. For up until now, other than chopping down NINE ill-placed and ugly trees, we haven't done much. But yes, we are finally tackling the backyard. Now, the biggest improvement we could make for the backyard would be to remove the tumor from the back of our house--to read all about said tumor, I posted about it here. But I must admit, I'm a little loathe to part with the tumor. Although on the outside it's a total disgusting wreck, on the inside it's become a very conveniently located toy room that for some reason the kids just LOVE. So no, we are not removing the tumor. Not just yet. Besides, it would probably cost a fortune.

No, instead we are tackling the yard.

About a month ago, Trevor and my Dad and our awesome home teacher attacked it with two tillers. Brother Knapp's tiller was of a commercial quality--it kicked some serious butt. Trevor has since been re-routing all the sprinkler heads and preparing the ground for sod, which we hope to lay in early June.

Anyway, we're working on it. But this post is ACTUALLY about the lovely gift from my parents for my birthday. Yesterday, Mom and Dad came over, and Dad and Trevor put in Afton's new sandpile! She was so freaking excited.

It went well, other than the unforseen issue of a MASSIVE patch of cement that was buried and must have once held a fence post. It just happened to be in the middle of her sand pile so Dad and Trevor got it out after much effort.

It was a stubborn bugger, let me tell you.

Mom and I sat on chairs and watched. Scarlett went to bed. Ripley cuddled with Grandma.

And Afton generally got in the way and demanded to help. She rode in the wheel barrow. Which, by the way, has a story all it's own. This thing was old when my Grandpa got it out of a junk pile years ago. Then he gave it to my Dad years after that, and Dad has used it forever. Seriously, this thing is probably over 100 years old.

I insisted on pouring the sand myself, just so I could say I did something. Then it was time for Afton to play! I played with her. My mom even brought some buckets and shovels.

This morning all three kids played in it. So cute. Afton was out there several times today. My sister Jen brought over a couple of outside toys, so Afton had an awesome little playground out there.

Now all we need is GRASS!!!

A HUGE thank you to my awesome parents! They are always finding ways to help us out! And to my awesome husband, who sacrificed the money he was saving up to buy a handgun in order to give his daughters somewhere safe and fun to play. I am truly blessed.

My Little Mermaid

Afton's favorite song is "Ariel's Song" also known as "Part of Your World." She asks for it every night when I put her to bed. I'm actually getting kind of sick of this song. Those of you who know me well, know that I went through a HUGE obsession with The Little Mermaid when it came out--I danced to this song in my living room, wearing my pink body suit and my green chiffon skirt, and I sang it and sang it hoping eventually I would sound like Jodi Benson. I drew Ariel over and over and over until I had her down, and to this day I swear I can draw Ariel in my sleep. Funnily enough, we don't even OWN this video--well, we have it on VHS. The one I got when it was first released in 1989. It's so weird--when you watch it, the movie just starts with no ads or anything. Anyway, she watches it mostly on the Disney Princess sing-along that she loves. (Great suggestion, Heather! You were right!)

Anyway, it's a long song and kind of complicated, but she knows every word. I've heard her sing it more accurately than this, but who cares! She's so freakin' cute in this video! I love my little singing Afton! (And, for a three year old, she's pretty on key, don't you think?)

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

And here is one more of my babies! They are so cute! (Note how good Scarlett is at holding herself up against the side. Explains why this morning she FELL OUT OF THE CRIB. Guess it's time to drop it lower...)

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

Five Things I've Been Thinkin'

I'm still alive. It's funny--I have no real intention to stop writing in my blog. I think of myself as an active blogger. And then I look at the date of my last entry and I'm kinda shocked. I'm sure anyone who ever read my blog has long since given up on me--just like I've given up on some of my other friends who have stopped blogging, or blog rarely. So sorry. I know you are all dying to hear the pearls of wisdom that come from me. I DO keep up a lot better on my Realscrappy blog--maybe that's why I feel like I'm an active blogger? I did a record THREE ENTRIES in a WEEK last week. So there.

What have I been thinking about?

1. On Saturday I had to go to a UMLA conference--a Middle School Conference. Honestly, I didn't want to go. A Saturday away from my family is a high price to pay--not just for my mental health and the health of my family, but for the sake of all the chores I can only do on the weekends since I work full time. But I had to go--I need the re-licensure points for my job so I went. And you know what? It was excellent. So I'm so glad that if I had to spend a day away from my family, it was totally worth it. Here's what I learned:

a. Elk Ridge really DOES have do awesome school plays. They school we were at performed a number from theirs and it was cute and the kids did a great job. But ours are WAY better and have WAY better choreography. Go Elk Ridge! Go Mrs. Gordon!

b. I learned about some really cool technology ideas for the classroom, and also that I am SO behind in technology, despite being a business teacher. Kinda embarassing.

c. Our keynote speaker was incredible. He talked about a concept he read about where you "make deposits" with people so that when you have to make a "withdrawal" you have something to draw from. It's a great way to build relationships. I thought about my students, and how I don't get to know them as well as I could. When they feel like I care about them and their success, when I take a moment to talk to them, encourage them, or have any personal positive interaction, I am "making a deposit." I don't make enough deposits. Not personally. I applied this to my marriage as well, and Trevor and I had a great discussion about it Sunday morning. It's something we are going to work on with each other.

d. I have a hard time really caring about my students. Does that sound horrible? It's not that I DON'T care about them. Its that I only have them 10 weeks, not a whole school year. And I don't have a lot of time to get to know them. And it really means I have to stretch myself to try. I keep a very professional relationship with my kids. We have fun and I make jokes and I try to make class interesting. But I'm not that teacher that hangs out with them after school or goes to their games. I'm just not. And I'm not sure I want to be. I'm not sure that it's within my abilities to cross that line. I guess I have with my ballroom kids, but that's only a few kids and we had a very different relationship. I just don't know where the balance is. I guess I only have so much fuel in me, and my own family takes a lot of it. And if I have to choose who is getting my energy, it will be my own kids. Still, it doesn't take much to ask kids how their weekend is and find out a few things about them. It doesn't take much to encourage them, to point out when they do well. Thoughts like that cross my mind all the time, but I don't always vocalize them, or remember them the next day when I have that student again. I guess what I mean is that I'm a good teacher, but I don't feel like I made a really big impact. I'm not that teacher that kids will come back and say, "you were the best. You changed my life. I'm a teacher because of YOU." They like me. They tell their friends my class if fun. But I don't think they remember anything. I know this because my 9th graders come in after being out of my room for two years, and have forgotten EVERYTHING and could care less about how cool I am. I don't know. All I can do is try, I guess.

2. I have totally gotten addicted to Farm Town again on Facebook. How did this happen to me? Why am I letting myself do this? Why am I actually contemplating spending real U.S. dollars to buy a second farm or a stable? I mean, really? Am I THAT pathetic? How did I become one of those people that play Facebook games? My only excuse is that its something to do while pumping. How's that?

3. My babies are growing up. The other day I had to leave for work and the babies were SO cute in the morning. I went in there, and they were all grinning and laughing and rolling around. And I did not want to leave them! "Summer is almost here," I told myself as I sadly left. And then I thought--"But in the summer, they won't be BABIES anymore!!" It's true. They are eight months old and now Scarlett has three teeth (none for Ripley yet) both are getting up on their knees getting ready to crawl, and both can even stand against furniture--though they don't like to. Where is the time going? Babies are so hard, but suddenly its going to be OVER. And I don't know if I'll ever have another baby again. We might, but we might not. And I love my little babies! But oh, just thinking about chasing after two crawling babies tires me out and excites me at the same time!

4. I've started making soap again. I used to make it with my students, back in the days before I had kids and could spend extra time in the preparing it. It was so fun, but I got burned out. We make badges now instead. But I got some new soap base and started making a few bars--and oh yeah! Making soap is so freaking fun!I forgot! I had to invite the art teachers over and Friday and we made a few bars during our prep. I give them away as thank you's to teachers who help me out.

5. We got Afton a potty watch. We are desperate. She poops her pants every single day. I am so tired of poop. The potty watch is working pretty good so far. We got it for her Saturday, so it will be interesting to see how it goes all week as she goes to four different places for daycare. We're hoping the potty watch will be a steady and reliable proceedure that will follow her wherever she goes. Oh please! Please say it will work!

Well that's all. It's time to go pump now. Thank you all for listening to me rant on and on!

My Babies are Seven Months!

I know, I know. I haven't updated in forever. It's probably not going to change. My life is insane 98.9% of the time! But I did manage to put together a cute little film strip of the twins that I took on their 7th month anniversary!

Ripley loves to sit, and can do so for quite a long time, happy as a clam. Scarlett refuses to do anything of the kind. Although, I did stand her up against furniture and she was all about it. And Ripley would NOT do it. So it makes me wonder if Scarlett will walk first!

They love solids. I got a Baby Bullet for Christmas and it's the best thing EVER. I just really like making their food and it saves me a lot of money. And the food is so much better. The other day I made them peach/apple, and I wanted to eat it myself!

I love them at this age--able to entertain themselves, but also immobile. Neither of them ever seem to flip over the other direction once they are on their bellies, so no rolling yet. Maybe they'll be like Afton and never roll over at all!

Well, seriously, that's all the time I have. I DID post on my Realscrappy blog with pictures of my new 2011 Yearbook that I just got in the mail, so feel free to check it out if you haven't already!

Christmas Heaven and Potty Training Hell

We had a fabulous holiday. I loved Christmas this year. Afton was a total blast. She totally got it, and she is seriously the funniest thing! I got a lot of really great stuff--surprisingly, I am totally LOVING my Nook, which I didn't expect. It's just so darn convenient! Trevor always does such a great job with my Christmases! Here are a few photos from our fun holiday!

The chaos at our annual Nielson Family Party.

Afton and Tyson bouncing on their "horsies" that my Mom gave them. Afton calls hers "Wilford."

Mom made had the grandkids all do a little act to "Rudoph the Red Nosed Reigndeer. Though why Rudoph's nose was in the middle of his forehead is a mystery to me...As you could predict, Afton LOVED performing for her family--probably more than any of the other grandkids!

 I had to include this one for those of you out there who remember my nephew Sam but haven't seen him in a while. Yeah, he's HUGE. Only 14 and over 6 feet tall! Certainly didn't get it from the Nielson side of the family!

My awesome sister Jen playing with Scarlett at Mom's party. I actually rarely held them at that party...

Our tree on Christmas Eve, after Santa came to visit.

Afton on Christmas morning in her Fairy gear, and playing with the microphone I got her. She loves it! Only...she tries to eat it more than sing into it...

Trevor's awesome grandmother, Luzenia, and his Dad, Stan. The babies got a lot of attention Christmas afteroon at Trevor's parents house!

I surprised Trevor with a new Lord of the Rings sword--this one is the Sword of Isildur.

Afton got some "Bitty Babies" from American Girl for Christmas. We HAD to get her her own set of twins! One that looks like Scarlett and one that looks like Ripley! Only, we named them Rose and Lily.

You know it's a successful Christmas when you get BOTH your mothers crying. My mom cried when she got the book I made her that had notes from all her Grandkids and her kids. It was called "I Love  You Because..." And then Karen cried because Stan, with Trevor's help, got her wedding rings re-made--her ring was stolen in Hawaii when Trevor was a little boy. She still had the band, but not the diamond ring. So Trevor picked the diamond and had his friend Ryan re-create both the ring and the band.

But, although Christmas was just heaven, the week following was pretty  much Hell. I am back at school today and TOTALLY ok with it. And that is because, starting December 26th, our campaign to potty train Afton began. It was the only time I had that I KNEW I would have a full week with her to really teach her to get it. Otherwise I'd have to wait until Spring Break. My other goal was to FINALLY get the twins to eat solids. They just always spit it out. It's taken them forever to learn something that Afton picked up after only a few tries!
And now, a week and a half later, I have a potty-trained kid and twins eating solids. And I am EXHAUSTED. A classroom full of 7th graders is a total piece of cake by comparison. But today was a big day because it's the first day that Afton went the whole day without an accident. I'm so proud of her! She's still in pull-ups at night, but she's getting through her naps, and most of the time she gets on the potty without our urging.
One thing that is hard about potty training is that EVERYONE has an opinion. On one hand, you want to ask for advice--your friends and family have done it themselves for their own children, and what better way to figure out how to do it than to ask those who have done it before? But the opinons on "the right way" are so diverse, and then of course every kid is different.

I decided to follow the advice of my mother-in-law on this. She purchased in ebook about 3-day potty training that she used to potty train my neice Madison. Totally worked. The problem I am have is that you need 3 days straight with no distractions--a tall order when I work full time and the kids go to FOUR different people for daycare. So I knew I had to do it over the break. Then Trevor would be home to help me. Because we had so many distractions, it took longer than three days--but she got better at it every day!
This is what bothers me most about potty-training advice. I'm so tired of people saying, "Just wait till she's "ready."

What does that really MEAN?

I am sure that if I wait and wait and wait, one day she'll be old enough and prepared to just choose to be potty trained and it will be done in a day. And I'm sure if it worked that way, she'd have far less accidents and it would be a lot easier for me. My sister's little girl did that before she was 18 months old. My other sister's little girl(s) did that at the age of 4. Well, I'm not waiting until Afton is 4!! I really don't think that "ready" means that they completely figure it out on their own without me having to teach her anything. I suppose I could wait until my twins are "ready" to eat solids when they are asking for it. But...no. I need to teach them how to eat solids, just like I need to teach Afton to use the potty. And if I choose to teach her, rather than waiting for her to teach herself, then I need to be prepared to have a hellish week, a few accidents, and constant worry that she's about to have one. Is it worth it? Heck yes. I spend approximately $40 a month on Afton's diapers. Add wipes, and that's about $500 a year. I'm just poor enough that I'd much rather use that money for something else. So yes, its worth it. Plus--only two bums to change now instead of three.

Afton is ready, in my book. She's intersted in potty training. Seems to understand the concept. She's watched her cousins and friends use it. She is physically capable of pulling down her pants and getting on the potty by herself. And she can certainly communicate with me when she needs to go. What else is there?

Thus began our long week. I almost gave up the first day, I was so frustrated. But I kept on--I would NOT let the first obstacle be my last. So we worked on it, and each day she got better. She is finally getting through her naps without an accident, and she is so proud of herself when she does it right! Stickers are like the greatest invention ever. She'll do practically anything for a sticker.

But I'll tell you what. I am so freaking sick of poop!

Tomorrow she will go back to daycare. I hope she does well. I hope we don't have to start all over once her schedule changes.

Well, there you go! Christmas Heaven and Potty Training Hell!

Afton the Performer

I love my little girl Afton. She is seriously such a little joy to me. It's so fun to watch her go through each stage, and she is growing up so fast! I guess that is what the oldest child gets--they are the first to do everything.

Afton has no fear. She loves talking to complete strangers. I love how she is young enough to not be afraid of anything. She doesn't care if the stranger she talks to is in a wheelchair or handicapped, if they are old or another race. She loves everyone. Though sometimes it scares me that she isn't afraid of strangers. How to teach her to be careful, but not lose that love she has for everyone?

She's just such an outgoing little thing. She loves music. Even in the womb, she would move a lot when music--particularly classical--was being played. This was not a phenomenon I experienced with the twins, though Ripley does seem to calm down quicker when you sing to her. When Afton hears music, she just has to dance! And she likes to sing along, even if she doesn't know the words. She sort of sings the last sound of each word as if she knows it. So cute.

So here's my new Afton story. On Saturday morning our ward had our ward Christmas breakfast. I almost didn't go because we were so tired and had three parties that day. But I love breakfast and I knew Afton would love. I couldn't guilt Trevor into it, however, so he stayed in bed while I packed up all three kids and went to the stake center.

At the breakfast, we sat at the end of one of the tables so I could get out easily and manage the twins. They had scheduled the West Jordan Madrigals to be there to perform, and they performed on the back half of the cultural hall, so we had front row seats. Afton was glued. She absolutely loved it. She somehow knew not to get out of her seat or go run around--she watched avidly, clapping heartily after each number, and sometimes, grasping the back of her chair while she shook her little booty. She just loved it!

The performance was excellent. When it finished, they left, and I resumed a conversation with the person next to me as I bounced both babies on my knees. Then someone said something--I looked up, and there was Afton. She was standing in the middle of the stage where the performers had just been, grinning ear to ear. And then--then she started to dance. She was totally into it. And because only seconds had passed since the performance ended, everyone was watching her and clapping. She loved it. There was my kid, performing in front of some 100 people, not remotely nervous!

By total chance, I had our flip camera in the pocket of my coat, from the night before when we went to the Festival of the Trees.(Where, by the way, she was WAY more interested in watching the performing group than looking at the trees!) So I managed to get a little of her performance on tape. But it totally does not capture fully how freaking funny it was. I love how she just grins when she's the center of attention. Remember her 2nd birthday when we started to sing and she started to grin ear to ear when she realized it was all for her? Yup. That's my girl. I wonder where she gets it?

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

 

Excuse the Mess, We're Making Memories

I saw this sign on Pinterest:

I've thought about it a lot. It's an idea that's been in my head for some time now--the idea that while I'm just keeping my head above water and trying to get through each day, paying bills, making dinner, making sure the house isn't a total wreck--in the meantime, my children are making memories. A normal day for me can be a turning point or an oft-repeated story for them when they get older.

Example:

ME: I'm in the playhouse one afternoon, sitting at the top of the slide, preparing to go down. Then, I notice at the bottom of the slide, SOMETHING is there. It looks like a snake. What if it's a snake??? Yes, it does look remarkably like a piece of jump rope or something...but WHAT IF IT'S A SNAKE??? What if I slide down and it gets me? This is not a chance I can take. The results would be too horrible. I need to be SURE it's not a snake. I sit there. I think. And then, I remember that there is one person whose always on my side and will make sure I'm ok and that the snake doesn't get me. "MOM!!!" I scream. No answer. Mom is inside and probably can't hear me. "MOM!!!!" I yell again. And again. For quite some time. Suddenly Mom is there. I tearfully and disjointedly explain that there's a snake at the bottom of the slide. Mom reaches up and picks me up from the slide and carries me, crying, into the house. As I pass the slide I get a better look at the snake. It is only a piece of jumprope. I'm sure glad Mommy rescued me anyway.

This is how I remember it. I'm sure my mother, on the other hand, has totally forgotten this incidence. Now that I'm a mom, I think I can imagine how her side of the story went.

MOM: Crap. I've got to get these dishes washed before the kids come home from school. Oh, and I've got to switch the laundry over. Where did I put that other glove I found? Was that Megan crying? Huh. Oh, there it is. I'll put it up here in the closet. Now for that laundry. Wait--was that Megan crying? I guess I'd better go look. She's in the backyard by herself. Man, I've only got five minutes and they'll all be home and wanting a snack. Oh yes, there she is. What in the world is she crying about? "Are you ok honey? A snake? That's not a snake. Come inside." Now what can I make them for lunch?

To my mother, this was just a normal incidence on a normal day. To me, it became a memory I still carry with me thirty years later. Why do I remember it? Why is this particular memory still there? Is it because I learned that Mommy will always save me? That I shouldn't be afraid? That some things appear worse than they really are? I don't know. But that day, Mom was doing the dishes, and I was making a memory.

And now I am the mom, and I wonder what is happening each day that, for me, will be insignificant and forgotten, and for them will be something they remember forever?

 I remember going up to Oregon to visit family as a child--it was a magical place. We'd spend hours chasing barn cats, wandering the farm, playing in the irrigation ditch. Now, I go up as the adult. And I just sit and visit with everyone and thoroughly enjoy myself, not really paying attention to what all the noisy kids are up to--as long as they aren't crying or bleeding, I'm good. I don't really realize that they are off--having adventures, creating memories they will always cherish, while my conversations with relatives, while enjoyable, will likely be forgotten forever.

Some people spend their entire lives trying to "get over" their childhood. But I was one of the lucky ones that had a wonderful childhood. I grew up in a loving home and was taken care of and loved. I remember my childhood as magical. Can I really make my children's childhood as magical as mine? Can I make my home the comfortable, loving, friendly place that my own home was, growing up? Or is this a magic I even create? Don't children create the magic themselves?

We were watching slides at my parent's house the other day. One of my sisters noted the clock that was in the background of one of the slides--it was the clock that hung in our kitchen for most of my childhood. And we were all like, "Oh! Remember that clock! Wow! Look at that clock!" And mom is probably like "it's just a clock I got for my wedding. Big deal." Was the clock magical? No--it was just our memories that made it that way. It was just a symbol that reminded us of a simpler time when we were comfortable, happy, and loved.

I feel this pressure to give my little girls what was given to me--a backyard that has good grass and a big playhouse and an interesting layout where they can dream and imagine and play with their friends. Right now my grass is so course and gross that you can't walk on it with bare feet, and we can hardly afford to fix it right now. I feel so bad that I'm not giving them what was given me. I'm so worried that they won't have the magical memories that I had.

But then I have an evening where we're all playing together--I'm stealing Afton's nose and she's running to Daddy, and he picks her up and "hides" her from me while I try to get at her, all the time she's letting out peals of laughter. Trevor and I hold the babies facing each other, and they giggle as we fly them around the room in our arms, Afton in the background trying to fly too. Afton goes to Grandma's house and plays in Grandpa's shop--which she talks about non-stop on the way home. Or she goes to her other Grandma's and reads an Elmo book, crying and crying when I come to take her home. These are different memories than the ones I had. And I don't know which ones she'll take with her into her adulthood. I guess all I can do is make sure that most of them are as happy and comfortable and loving as I can. All I can do is make absolutely sure that she and her sisters know they are loved, that we will do anything to make sure they are taken care of and happy, and that, when the sad times come or when they are scared, we still have each other. I think that has it's own kind of magic--the kind of magic that settles over an ordinary day and makes it into a learning opportunity and a memory that lasts a lifetime.

So even when life is a little bit messy--and my house isn't so clean--it's ok, isn't it? We're all just making memories!

Halloween

MY.LIFE.IS.CRAZY!!!!

Here's a picture of my girls, Little Bo Peep and her sheep for Halloween. Its the best I can do right now!

Five Minutes of My Life...

The Big Picture...and other random stuff...

Yeah, I know. It's about time I updated this blog. I HAVE been updating my Realscrappy blog, and some of those posts were really involved and took a lot of work. But man, free time is so difficult that I'm afraid this blog has gone on the back burner. Whenever I get a free minute, I have the hardest time choosing what to do. Surf Facebook and Pinterest? Do I work on my scrapbooks? Read my book? Work on the paper dolls I'm making for my neices birthday party? (They are going to be SOOO cute!) The other night I chose Lord of the Rings. Trevor and I watched about 45 minutes of the first one. We'll just work our way through them all. It will probably take two years. In fact, I think Afton will be potty-trained by the time we finish all three of them. (Which is going to be a LONG time from now)

 So I'm far too disorganized in mind to make an organized post. So I'm just going to take a page out of my friend Heather's book and just be random. Sometimes, those random posts are the most entertaining to read.

Pinterest - Ok, shameless plug. I am SO getting into this. If you aren't on Pinterest yet, consider it. Here's why:
1. It's a place to put all those little ideas and thoughts that come to you while surfing the net. Instead of bookmarking that tutorial or saving that picture you like, just pin it. You can come back to it later when you are ready. Where is that tutorial I was looking at for how to _____________? That's right I pinned it. I love that.
2. If you are like me and don't like surfing the net for random tutorials and ideas, you can just see what other people pinned and borrow their ideas. I am so overwhelmed with ideas and inspiration when I'm on that site!
3. I have made two recipes now that I pinned, and I loved both of them!

4. It has hilarious pins like this one. This one had me laughing out loud at 3:00 a.m. while I was pumping last night!
Ok. No more plugging. Just go check it out.

Movies - Despite my lack of time, I do manage to watch some TV. It's something I can do while feeding a baby. Or sometimes it's the only activity Trevor and I have the energy to do after the kids are finally asleep. Other than Lord of the Rings the other night, we also watch Chuck a lot, which is our new favorite show. We are working through season 3 and we love it! We watched Thor the other night. Eh. The best thing, of course, was Thor's chest, which got way too little screen time. I'd have liked more of the chest and less of--well, everything else. It wasn't that great of a movie. The love story was SO unbelievable. I felt like I was watching a video game. I swear, the world he was from is just like one of the boards on Mario Cart. (and if you've seen the movie, you know that "Rainbow Road" looks JUST LIKE the Bifrost!)

Sleep...or the lack thereof....I'm actually writing this the next morning from when I started it. Mondays and Tuesdays are crazy as I help Trevor out the door with the three kids. And then--a half hour of peaceful bliss. It's pretty much the ONLY TIME I'm EVER in the house by myself since I had the twins. I relish it. And it's so short. This morning I planned to spend my half hour going back to bed, but the temptation to do other things won over. We don't sleep much these days. The babies are no where near a sleep schedule. They do great from 7:00 to about midnight, but after that it's anyone's guess. Last night they were up every hour and a half. We are both irritable and ornery with lack of sleep--especially Trevor, who has a much harder time going without. I just don't know what to do about it.

Paperdoll Project - So my sister-in-law asked me to make some paperdolls for her daughter's birthday party in December. Wisely she asked me early, because they take a lot of time to make. But I am LOVING it. It's been so long since I was able to really draw anything, and so I've fully enjoyed it. Right now I'm working on making the dolls. I draw them, scan them in, then use Photoshop to perfect them. Then I reprint them and back them with several layers of sturdy paper. That's where I'm at now--the part I hate. Backing them is NOT fun. But here is a picture of a few of the dolls! I'm making ten of them. It's going to take forever. But then I get to design the clothes and that's my favorite part!

My Little Girls - I love my babies. All three of them. Even on days like today. It's now the evening, and I'm exhausted. The only reason I even have a minute right now is because I'm pumping. (that's right, I can type AND pump. I'm that awesome.) Its almost 8:00 and I haven't eaten anything in hours because I haven't had time. This is the first time I've sat down since getting home. Its just constant. BUT--really, isn't this worth it?

 Right now Afton is downstairs watching An American Tail which was one of my favorites as a child. It's so cute listening to her trying to sing along. She loves to learn the words to songs and sing them. Today in car she was doing quite well while watching Beauty and the Beast. We just put her in a "big bed" and she is so excited about it. It's actually the daybed I got for Christmas in 1988 and used until I married Trevor!

The twins are starting to laugh and smile, now. And that makes them SO much more fun. They are starting to interact. My predictions, based on what observations I have made so far:

1. Scarlett will roll over first. She will also discover her hands first
2. Ripley will talk first and probably walk first, too.

The Big Picture- My life is hard right now. No question. I am so crazy busy. I am a very efficient person that can get an astounding amount done in a very small amount of time, due to my complete ability to ignore small details and rush through it. I am a "big picture" person, and I can look at something and do things in order of priority to get it done. But now--now I have way more stuff to fit in than even I can handle. And that means that sometimes the laundry sits clean in its basket for several days. The mail doesn't get picked up and Netflix sits for a ridiculously long time before I remember to put it in the box. Making dinner is rare, and when I DO make it, its leads to a much more stressful night. Its taken me four days to start and finish this post. My kitchen is cluttered, my front room is littered with diaper bags and baby blankets. But I am trying to remember the big picture--those are little details now that have to be low on the priority list behind playing with Afton, taking care of the babies, and being with my husband for the few precious hours we are all home--before we all have to go back to work and daycare again.

But I am a happy woman. I have a loving husband, beuatiful children, a roof over our heads and an AWESOME new van. What else is there? And sometimes, I even find the time to be silly.

Free Time

So...I haven't updated forever. I've been even worse on my RealScrappy blog. Every time I feel guilty about it, I remind myself that I just had twins. Surely people will forgive me for taking a little hiatus, especially on my other blog. I just don't have it in me to update that one, though I have been scrapbooking here and there--I have to. I have SO MUCH to do! I'm working on three books right now! In fact, I am already feeling guilty that I'm doing this instead of that right now. Which brings me to the topic of today's post:

FREE TIME.

Remember that stuff? I used to have a lot of it. I had so much of it, I didn't know what to do with it. We're talking single girl free time. Man, I miss that. But not so much that I'd trade my lack of it as a wife and mother to go back. Still, I do miss free time. I find that when I get it, things like cleaning and laundry and showering are starting to crowd in, and I hate that. Free time is supposed to be ME time! But it seems like when I get a little bit of it, I suddenly find myself unable to decide what to do with it. And feeling guilty, no matter what I choose, for not choosing the other thing.

Take today for instance. I had a magical 90 minutes where all three of my children were fast asleep. (Three children! Hear that? I have three children. I still can't believe it, it happened so fast.) What did I do with my free time? I WATCHED ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT. How lame can you get? I was so mad at myself! My computer was off-limits since I was, at the moment, burning a DVD of when the babies were born. But I could have read my book. (I'm currently reading Inkheart, and after 150 pages it finally got really good.) I could have sewn something, or made some hairbows. Or cleaned. Or finished unpacking from our trip to Loa. Or done something that, when finished, I would have something to show for it. Instead I watched the same 30 seconds of footage of Kim Kardashian's wedding while these obnoxious wannabe reporters talked about how gorgeous her dress was and how much money she made off her wedding. What a complete waste of time!

When it's not free time, its mom time. And don't get me wrong--I love it. My babies are growing so big every day, I can hardly believe how much they've changed. Especially since they started out three oz. different in size, and now they are FOUR POUNDS different. Scarlett is 9 lbs and Ripley is a whopping 13! When you lay them side by side, they don't even look like sisters, let alone twins.

Anyway, here I am again with a bit of freetime. The children are, miraculously, asleep again. Trevor is picking up my sister and her family at the airport. And so I am going to update my blog with recent pictures of my babies, and also a video--so that when I go to work next week and people ask, I can say, "Here's a video of how cute my girls are!" And that, to me, is definately worth my time!

Well, I know I won't really have free time again for a long time. That's the price I am paying--the price every mother pays--to raise her children. But it's ok. My babies are so precious, and even though this time in my life is extremely stressful and a huge adjustment, it's also an enormous blessing. I love my little family. And my love for my husband has grown so much since I gave birth to these three little girls. I am truly blessed--even without freetime.

 

Time for Another List

So I've got a lot on my mind today--well nothing pressing, but lots of random thoughts floating around. Most of them have to do with twins, for some reason ;) I feel kinda bad that I'm one of THOSE PEOPLE right now--the ones whose every single post on Facebook is about the same thing. I hate those people. I've hidden those people before--you know, the girl that posts every single detail of her wedding plans each day. Or the girl that whines about the same subject every day. And now I'm that girl. I'm sure I've been  hidden by people. I understand if they hide me. I find MYSELF annoying. But--it's just such a huge thing for me right now, and literally is pretty much the ONLY thing I think about. Taking care of newborn twins can be a lot of work and you have to stay focused. I can't imagine how I'll manage when Trevor is back to work. There's only like a two week time period between when he goes back and when I go back--maybe I'll be glad to go back to work in the Fall?

Anyway, this post is going to be a list of random stuff. I cannot promise that none of them will be about the twins, but I CAN promise that some of them WON'T be. But, most of them will be about our lives right now and the recovery I'm going through. Sorry. (Man, sorry about the all caps every where. That is so annoying. I'm just an annoying girl!)

1. Wait. Sorry. Scarlett's crying....#1 will have to wait...STINK that baby is cute! I just love that kid! She's got the prettiest little almond shaped eyes! (Ok, ok...this is NOT about the twins. This is NOT about the twins...be strong...)

2. For most women, pregnancy is a big obstacle in keeping your weight down. Apparently for me its a great opportunity to lose weight. I lost a lot after Afton, and then I gained it right back. So I'm hoping this time I can turn that opportunity into success. In one week I have dropped 32 lbs, the last ten was in the last two days. I now weigh six lbs less than when I got pregnant! In fact, I weigh less than I have in probably two years! My stomach is still nasty and a deflated balloon, but hey! I'll take it! I put on these pants on like Wednesday or so, and they barely fit around my waist--I had to do that maternity trick where you put an elastic around the button hole to give yourself another inch. Yesterday I put them on again, and they were totally falling off of me. WEIRD. Not sure HOW I will maintain this weight loss, though, since I can't exercise for six weeks (well, five now) and it's not like I'm in the habit or have a fridge full of healthy food. Most of what I eat right now is what the ward is bringing me. And once I CAN exersize (I can never spell that word) there will only be like one week left of the summer and then I'm back at work. And it's so hard to work out when I'm working. Especially when my number of children has tripled. Wow. #2 is long.

3. I went outside yesterday. OUTSIDE. It was so exciting. Mom came over and watched the kids while Trevor and I went out to eat at Iggy's (yeah, the maintaining weight loss thing is totally gonna happen) and then we went to Macey's and bought some essentials. It felt wonderful to be OUT. Except I forgot to take a pain pill before we left so I was hurting when we got home.

4. I breast-fed BOTH babies at the same time this morning for the first time. Without anyone helping me (i.e. handing me the babies and helping me get situated.) I was so proud of myself. Of course, I still had to feed them afterward because they either they won't stay on long enough or maybe I just run out of milk. I don't know. I never really breast-fed Afton much because she hated it. But these two, especially Scarlett, do great. I only do it like once a day though. I'm still kinda mystified by the breast-feeding thing. I mean, it takes twice as long and you still have to feed them afterward--kinda hard to live that way. But I am certainly not producing enough milk for two babies--barely enough for one, actually. So I am hoping that the actual breast-feeding will increase my milk supply. And though I am managing to feed (breast or bottle) two babies at once, I don't know what the trick is to burp two babies at once.


5. I just snapped this picture of Scarlett. Isn't she cute? Ripley is asleep so I just took one of my little Miss Scarlett. I love that kid. They are both just adorable! I call Ripley Miss Peacock because when she cries out she sounds just like a peacock. Trevor does a fabulous peacock impression, and we are at the zoo he'll do a call and the peacocks will answer. One time an albino peacock at the Tucson zoo flared his feathers and shook them like he was calling Trevor on. It was pretty cool. So, I guess that's where Ripley gets it.

6. Wow. It's like...12 hours later now. Life got pretty busy after I finished #5. And then we headed out to my Mom's house for the day. I just needed a day to relax and rest and recover. It was AWESOME. I love my parent's house. I love how inviting and comfortable it is. I'm just home there, in a way I can never be home anywhere else. We sat outside in the twilight, just talking and holding babies and enjoying the breeze. It was an a great day. I was in a lot of pain for part of it, so it was nice to be babied by my mommy.

7. We need a yard. How much work is it to just roto till the back yard, plant some seed, and just sort of start over? My little Afton needs to be able to play outside. I love my mom's yard. I love how interesting and comfortable it is. And it was like that when I was a kid--I don't want Afton to miss out on a backyard until she's 11. You know?

8. My ward is awesome. They are bringing us dinner every other day for two weeks. Isn't that great? I don't think a lot of wards do that. I am very blessed. But then, these two are the ONLY babies in our ward, apart from the little boy that is due in about three weeks. I imagine if you live in one of those wards out way west where there are like 15 primaries and 52 nurseries, you probably don't get many dinners...

9. Kylee is here. She's my niece. I have some pretty awesome neices and nephews. I've always really related with Kylee. She's 13. She's going to stay for two days and help me and Trevor out. She's a fabulous babysitter--she changes diapers without being asked. And today when we got home I started doing the dishes, and she offered to help me. Seriously, I love this girl. It's gonna be a fun couple of days having her here!

10. My sister Cindy taught me a really great twin trick. When you need them to be awake but they are kinda sleepy, put them next to each other and let them kick around and watch each other. Even at this young age it totally works--unless they are REALLY tired. They just stare at each other and then they cry. Well, Scarlett cries, and Ripley whines a little bit as if she's saying, "Wait...we're crying now? Are we supposed to be crying?" I put in my first post about the twins that Scarlett was the mellow one. Well, that's because that was the PLAN. We always thought whatever twin was Ripley would be the dominant one. But no. At least for the time being, it appears to be Scarlett. Ripley is way more mellow. Ok, they are 9 days old. So who knows.

11. My sister Nicki took some SWEET pictures of the twins and of Afton. I am not going to post them here--yet. I have made up a birth announcement and I'm waiting for the few hard copies (that are for relatives) to come, and then I'll post pictures here and the announcement on Facebook. SO cute. Nicki is such an amazing photographer, and I'm so grateful to her for doing this for me! So stay tuned for those pictures. But here's one of the ones of Afton. Isn't she just adorable?

Well. I guess I'm stopping at the rather weird number of 11 things. But oh well. Right now Trevor and Kylee are feeding my babies and the mom-guilt is stepping in. So I'd better go, you know, be a parent and stuff.