Remember that stuff? I used to have a lot of it. I had so much of it, I didn't know what to do with it. We're talking single girl free time. Man, I miss that. But not so much that I'd trade my lack of it as a wife and mother to go back. Still, I do miss free time. I find that when I get it, things like cleaning and laundry and showering are starting to crowd in, and I hate that. Free time is supposed to be ME time! But it seems like when I get a little bit of it, I suddenly find myself unable to decide what to do with it. And feeling guilty, no matter what I choose, for not choosing the other thing.
Take today for instance. I had a magical 90 minutes where all three of my children were fast asleep. (Three children! Hear that? I have three children. I still can't believe it, it happened so fast.) What did I do with my free time? I WATCHED ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT. How lame can you get? I was so mad at myself! My computer was off-limits since I was, at the moment, burning a DVD of when the babies were born. But I could have read my book. (I'm currently reading Inkheart, and after 150 pages it finally got really good.) I could have sewn something, or made some hairbows. Or cleaned. Or finished unpacking from our trip to Loa. Or done something that, when finished, I would have something to show for it. Instead I watched the same 30 seconds of footage of Kim Kardashian's wedding while these obnoxious wannabe reporters talked about how gorgeous her dress was and how much money she made off her wedding. What a complete waste of time!
When it's not free time, its mom time. And don't get me wrong--I love it. My babies are growing so big every day, I can hardly believe how much they've changed. Especially since they started out three oz. different in size, and now they are FOUR POUNDS different. Scarlett is 9 lbs and Ripley is a whopping 13! When you lay them side by side, they don't even look like sisters, let alone twins.
Anyway, here I am again with a bit of freetime. The children are, miraculously, asleep again. Trevor is picking up my sister and her family at the airport. And so I am going to update my blog with recent pictures of my babies, and also a video--so that when I go to work next week and people ask, I can say, "Here's a video of how cute my girls are!" And that, to me, is definately worth my time!
Well, I know I won't really have free time again for a long time. That's the price I am paying--the price every mother pays--to raise her children. But it's ok. My babies are so precious, and even though this time in my life is extremely stressful and a huge adjustment, it's also an enormous blessing. I love my little family. And my love for my husband has grown so much since I gave birth to these three little girls. I am truly blessed--even without freetime.