Sunday, February 21, 2010

Divorce - A Metaphor

Fortunately for me, I havnen't had to deal with divorce in my immediate family. I have been very lucky. My parents have a loving and healthy relationship, as do all my sisters. And I have been so happy in my own marriage. But I have seen it's affects on some of my friends. I have seen how hard it can be, how it can rip a family apart and create resentment that can last a lifetime. I've seen how spouses, after more than 20 years since their split, can still hate each other with a heated and violent hate. It's a very sad thing.

There are many causes of divorce, but there's also the standard scenario you see in movies and sadly, in real life. Husband and wife work together for years to create a home, build up their resources, and educate and raise their children. Then one day the man just gets DONE. It's to hard. There's too many kids. What about what HE wants? Can't he have time for HIM? Does he have to keep sharing and compromising all the time? And his wife has gotten older--she's no longer young and pert. He wants the newer, younger model. He wants to shake off the responsibilities that come with years of marriage.

So he leaves. He doesn't ask the wife's permission--she gets no say in his decision. He takes with him all the resouces they have worked together to build, leaving her with little income and, of course, custody of the children. He gets a fast car, a new hot girlfriend, and lives high on the hog. The wife is enbittered, angry. Doesn't he care about all they worked for together? Doesn't he care about the welfare of their children? If he's a decent guy, he pays child support. Even alimony. He makes sure that, even if he doesn't want his first wife anymore, at least thier children are provided for. For they are, after all, the innocent bystanders in this mess. They are the ones who will pay for his choice.

It's an ugly thing. I have never experienced it myself--until now. Many have compared the Jordan/Canyons split as a divorce. And they are absolutely right. Canyons, desiring to have a hot new district with all the bells and whistles they can't afford without dropping the dead-weight of too many children, leaves Jordan. Jordan gets no say in the matter. They are just left behind with all the kids and no money to support them. Like the man in the scenario, Canyons takes all the resources, as well. With the dividing line between the districts being the Jordan River--far past the hotbeds of revenue-generating commercial properties like South Towne Mall, Winco, and Costco, not to mention all the commerical lined up on both sides of the 1-15 freeway, the resources are clearly leaning only one way. Jordan shops in Canyon's stores, because they are convenient and nearby. But Canyons does not shop at Jordan stores--they are too far away, and repeats of what they already have close to home. Although both sides contribute to the revenue coming from these places, only Canyons benefits. And HE WON'T SHARE.

This divorce has causes a schism in our valley like the North and South, where everyone is taking sides and starting use words like "Them" and "Us." A valley where Christianity is king, is now falling into a divided battle, where one side says--"we don't care about your kids. We don't care if they have a lesser education. We don't care if your teachers lose their jobs. We have what WE want. We have more money for OUR kids." Nevermind that many of the east-siders have children, brothers, cousins, aunts and grand-children on the west side. They don't care. They got their hot new car and they are happy with it.

We are calling for child support. Representative Bird is bringing out a bill to equalize the per pupil spending between the districts. This bill would allow Jordan to get some of the revunue from businesses they are already supporting. It would allow teachers to keep their jobs. It would allow us to keep our homes, as taxes go sky high. If you or your child is a victim of this divorce--DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Write to your legislators. Write to the education committee. Tell them to support this bill! I have--and have already recieved two emails from two different members telling me they are supporting it. This may be the only chance our kids have to recover from this ugly divorce.

Friday, February 5, 2010

My New "BOW-dacious" Hobby!

So I've always been a "hobby" person. I've gone through various hobbies that have lasted for various lengths of time over the years. My oldest hobby is probably making paper dolls, which I still dabble in every now and then. I'll go through a few month's obsession, and then not do it again for a couple years. But, since I had a baby, this hobby--like most hobbies--has been pushed to the side for lack of time.

Then of course there's the old stand-by--scrapbooking. Like every other female in the 90's, I cut up my old priceless photos with reckless abandon--a move that I and pretty much every female in the 90's regrets. (Disclaimer: Scrapbooking nowadays isn't near as annoying and digital pictures have taken away the fear of ruining beloved photos. I am not bashing scrapbookers. End Disclaimer.) Anyway, I later discovered Digital Scrapbooking, and am much happier. It fits my personality much better.

I've tried other hobbies like crocheting--something I can do but am not all that good at--and singing--I got nodules on my vocal chords in 2003 and have never completely recovered--but now that I'm married with a baby and in "baby jail" I don't have time for a lot of my hobbies.

So now, I have a NEW hobby.

*What is it! What is it??* you all chant in excitement....

Baby Hair Bows!!! I went a little crazy. I bought a lot of stuff and just went for it. I made them first at a releif society shin-dig, and have been wanting to try it on my own ever since. So this week I just went for it. Started on Tuesday. And Afton is already sporting a ton of new bows! Not that she's all that excited about it. She isn't exactly the ideal model when I take pictures of them...

On the good side, its a hobby that is practical and has an actual use. On the bad side, Afton does NOT like the play quietly while I make them. She's pretty clingy right now. So getting time to do it is pretty challenging.

Well, here are some pictures of the ones I've made!

Here are the single bows. I love them! I just made the black one and the yellow one and haven't tried them on Afton yet--I hope the black one isn't too heavy! The blue one on the bottom was my first attempt at making a "Seattle Seahawks" bow to go with her Seahawks jersey that she's going to wear this weekend for the Super Bowl. But then I got some ribbon from Cindy that matched the Seahawks colors much better. I made these piggy tail bows:

So you can see the new cute Seattle Seahawks one. She will look adorable on Sunday! Though, I really ought to make her gold and black ones since I'm a Saints fan and MY TEAM actually MADE IT to the Super Bowl! (Ouch! Sorry Trevor! I love you!)

Anyway, I am very much obsessed with my new hobby. I guess I like the feel of something in my hands again--an aspect of scrapbooking that I miss now that I've switched to digital. I love choosing colors and ribbons and buttons and thinking of how they can go together. I am probably going to make a LOT more of them. Poor Afton. She'll be bow-bedecked for YEARS!!!

Well, I'll end this post with a picture of Afton wearing one of them. She was NOT a happy model. I took a ton of them, but this is the best I had. Sad huh?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Stubborn Like Her Father

So, the other day Trevor was watching the baby while I was at work. She would NOT go to sleep. Frustrated, he decided to put her in the crib and let her cry it out. She knows how to stand up against the crib, so once you get to that point, you know she ain't goin' to sleep. Why? Because she's STUBBORN. I'm not stubborn. That's one thing I can say about me. That's the good side. The bad side is that I give in really easy and forgive people quickly--so quickly sometimes that I forget what the did and don't learn from it. And I expect everyone else to forgive ME quickly, which doesn't always happen. Anyway, I'm not stubborn. She gets this from her daddy. There are times when that kid ain't going down without a fight.

Do you want proof? Well here it is. After standing against the crib, crying, and INSISTING she would NOT go to sleep, she finally quieted down. Surprised, Trevor went to check on her. This is what he found.

Now, maybe out there in Mommy land you are nodding your head and saying, "oh yeah, ALL babies do that. My kid did that five times. A day. For five years. That is nothing new and exciting." If this what you are thinking, keep it to yourself. Because in MY Mommy land, this is friggin' hilarous.