Monday, March 12, 2012

Five Things I've Been Thinkin'

I'm still alive. It's funny--I have no real intention to stop writing in my blog. I think of myself as an active blogger. And then I look at the date of my last entry and I'm kinda shocked. I'm sure anyone who ever read my blog has long since given up on me--just like I've given up on some of my other friends who have stopped blogging, or blog rarely. So sorry. I know you are all dying to hear the pearls of wisdom that come from me. I DO keep up a lot better on my Realscrappy blog--maybe that's why I feel like I'm an active blogger? I did a record THREE ENTRIES in a WEEK last week. So there.

What have I been thinking about?

1. On Saturday I had to go to a UMLA conference--a Middle School Conference. Honestly, I didn't want to go. A Saturday away from my family is a high price to pay--not just for my mental health and the health of my family, but for the sake of all the chores I can only do on the weekends since I work full time. But I had to go--I need the re-licensure points for my job so I went. And you know what? It was excellent. So I'm so glad that if I had to spend a day away from my family, it was totally worth it. Here's what I learned:

a. Elk Ridge really DOES have do awesome school plays. They school we were at performed a number from theirs and it was cute and the kids did a great job. But ours are WAY better and have WAY better choreography. Go Elk Ridge! Go Mrs. Gordon!

b. I learned about some really cool technology ideas for the classroom, and also that I am SO behind in technology, despite being a business teacher. Kinda embarassing.

c. Our keynote speaker was incredible. He talked about a concept he read about where you "make deposits" with people so that when you have to make a "withdrawal" you have something to draw from. It's a great way to build relationships. I thought about my students, and how I don't get to know them as well as I could. When they feel like I care about them and their success, when I take a moment to talk to them, encourage them, or have any personal positive interaction, I am "making a deposit." I don't make enough deposits. Not personally. I applied this to my marriage as well, and Trevor and I had a great discussion about it Sunday morning. It's something we are going to work on with each other.

d. I have a hard time really caring about my students. Does that sound horrible? It's not that I DON'T care about them. Its that I only have them 10 weeks, not a whole school year. And I don't have a lot of time to get to know them. And it really means I have to stretch myself to try. I keep a very professional relationship with my kids. We have fun and I make jokes and I try to make class interesting. But I'm not that teacher that hangs out with them after school or goes to their games. I'm just not. And I'm not sure I want to be. I'm not sure that it's within my abilities to cross that line. I guess I have with my ballroom kids, but that's only a few kids and we had a very different relationship. I just don't know where the balance is. I guess I only have so much fuel in me, and my own family takes a lot of it. And if I have to choose who is getting my energy, it will be my own kids. Still, it doesn't take much to ask kids how their weekend is and find out a few things about them. It doesn't take much to encourage them, to point out when they do well. Thoughts like that cross my mind all the time, but I don't always vocalize them, or remember them the next day when I have that student again. I guess what I mean is that I'm a good teacher, but I don't feel like I made a really big impact. I'm not that teacher that kids will come back and say, "you were the best. You changed my life. I'm a teacher because of YOU." They like me. They tell their friends my class if fun. But I don't think they remember anything. I know this because my 9th graders come in after being out of my room for two years, and have forgotten EVERYTHING and could care less about how cool I am. I don't know. All I can do is try, I guess.

2. I have totally gotten addicted to Farm Town again on Facebook. How did this happen to me? Why am I letting myself do this? Why am I actually contemplating spending real U.S. dollars to buy a second farm or a stable? I mean, really? Am I THAT pathetic? How did I become one of those people that play Facebook games? My only excuse is that its something to do while pumping. How's that?

3. My babies are growing up. The other day I had to leave for work and the babies were SO cute in the morning. I went in there, and they were all grinning and laughing and rolling around. And I did not want to leave them! "Summer is almost here," I told myself as I sadly left. And then I thought--"But in the summer, they won't be BABIES anymore!!" It's true. They are eight months old and now Scarlett has three teeth (none for Ripley yet) both are getting up on their knees getting ready to crawl, and both can even stand against furniture--though they don't like to. Where is the time going? Babies are so hard, but suddenly its going to be OVER. And I don't know if I'll ever have another baby again. We might, but we might not. And I love my little babies! But oh, just thinking about chasing after two crawling babies tires me out and excites me at the same time!

4. I've started making soap again. I used to make it with my students, back in the days before I had kids and could spend extra time in the preparing it. It was so fun, but I got burned out. We make badges now instead. But I got some new soap base and started making a few bars--and oh yeah! Making soap is so freaking fun!I forgot! I had to invite the art teachers over and Friday and we made a few bars during our prep. I give them away as thank you's to teachers who help me out.

5. We got Afton a potty watch. We are desperate. She poops her pants every single day. I am so tired of poop. The potty watch is working pretty good so far. We got it for her Saturday, so it will be interesting to see how it goes all week as she goes to four different places for daycare. We're hoping the potty watch will be a steady and reliable proceedure that will follow her wherever she goes. Oh please! Please say it will work!

Well that's all. It's time to go pump now. Thank you all for listening to me rant on and on!