Well, it's official I have lost 10 lbs, and at last measuring, 18 inches. Hooray! I can't even begin to count the number of times I have started and then stopped attempting to lose weight. The only time I was truly successful was in 2004, when I lost 25 lbs and 42 inches. It ended when I started working as a teacher and felt it was difficult to keep it up. I still managed to keep the weight off, or within about the same range. But then I got married. Wow. So now, this is what happens: School gets out, I work out all summer, and then when school starts again, I completely lose all control and all interest.
NOT THIS YEAR, DAMNIT!!
It all started in early May when a co-worker of mine--the same one mentioned in the post above--started the Rotation Diet in order to lose a few pounds she'd gained after she got married. At first I was very skeptical--the diet calls for three days of 600 calories, four days of 900 calories, a week of 1200 calories, and then repeating the 600 and 900 week. After that, you're done.
This was against everything I had been taught. 1) You shouldn't eat that few calories 2) what happens when its all over? Where is the lifestyle change?
But I watched her lose weight. So I thought--I'll try it. Here's the thing--it totally worked for me. Why? Because it helped me achieve the mental change that I needed in order to really get started--and one thing I've learned about weight loss--it's all mental. What goes in your head is more important than what goes in your mouth. I had spent the last year eating whatever the crap I wanted, without pausing to ask if it was good for me or not. I didn't care. I lose weight during my pregnancies, and so during my pregnancy with the twins I ate with wild abandon. After the babies were born I lost 45 lbs in less than a month. I weighed 20 lbs less than when I got pregnant in the first place. But it was deceptive weight loss and I knew it--I was flabby and my stomach looked horrible. Then the habits continued during the school year, I gained 10 lbs, but more than that, I gained inches.
It was actually really easy, that first week. Mainly because I had felt so helpless to stop my eating habits, it felt really good to firmly tell myself "NO." I had a list of exactly what I could eat each day. There was no cheating--I just did it. I was grateful for every single thing I put in my mouth. I thought about every bite. And it worked. I don't think that NOW I could eat that little, but 1200 calorie days are not as impossible as I thought.
That's why I'm writing this post. To remind myself, if the day ever comes again, that I LIKE THIS. When I am overweight and not doing anything about it, and I talk to family or friends about it, I tell them the following story:
"In 2004 when I lost all that weight, I told myself I would never get heavy again. Because now I knew what it takes. I knew what to do. I know what to eat, how to exercize. I know what it takes to get and stay thin. But now, that's exactly why I don't try. Because I know what it takes. I know how hard it is. I know how long it took and how much I had to work at it to get results. And I just don't want to do that again."
I am here to remind myself--THAT ISN'T TRUE. As time goes by, you forget what it was really like to lose weight. You forget that although its hard and time-consuming, it's also exciting and envigorating. I have more energy. I can't wait to get on the scale. I feel so STRONG, both mentally and physically, when I can tell myself NO to cookies and YES to push-ups. I love envisioning where I'll be a month from now. I took before and after pictures and although I still have a LONG LONG LONG way to go, I CAN see a difference.
As my friend Tony Horton says, "Just keep pressing play. Just keep pressing play."
Brooklynn turns 2
1 year ago