Afton the Performer

I love my little girl Afton. She is seriously such a little joy to me. It's so fun to watch her go through each stage, and she is growing up so fast! I guess that is what the oldest child gets--they are the first to do everything.

Afton has no fear. She loves talking to complete strangers. I love how she is young enough to not be afraid of anything. She doesn't care if the stranger she talks to is in a wheelchair or handicapped, if they are old or another race. She loves everyone. Though sometimes it scares me that she isn't afraid of strangers. How to teach her to be careful, but not lose that love she has for everyone?

She's just such an outgoing little thing. She loves music. Even in the womb, she would move a lot when music--particularly classical--was being played. This was not a phenomenon I experienced with the twins, though Ripley does seem to calm down quicker when you sing to her. When Afton hears music, she just has to dance! And she likes to sing along, even if she doesn't know the words. She sort of sings the last sound of each word as if she knows it. So cute.

So here's my new Afton story. On Saturday morning our ward had our ward Christmas breakfast. I almost didn't go because we were so tired and had three parties that day. But I love breakfast and I knew Afton would love. I couldn't guilt Trevor into it, however, so he stayed in bed while I packed up all three kids and went to the stake center.

At the breakfast, we sat at the end of one of the tables so I could get out easily and manage the twins. They had scheduled the West Jordan Madrigals to be there to perform, and they performed on the back half of the cultural hall, so we had front row seats. Afton was glued. She absolutely loved it. She somehow knew not to get out of her seat or go run around--she watched avidly, clapping heartily after each number, and sometimes, grasping the back of her chair while she shook her little booty. She just loved it!

The performance was excellent. When it finished, they left, and I resumed a conversation with the person next to me as I bounced both babies on my knees. Then someone said something--I looked up, and there was Afton. She was standing in the middle of the stage where the performers had just been, grinning ear to ear. And then--then she started to dance. She was totally into it. And because only seconds had passed since the performance ended, everyone was watching her and clapping. She loved it. There was my kid, performing in front of some 100 people, not remotely nervous!

By total chance, I had our flip camera in the pocket of my coat, from the night before when we went to the Festival of the Trees.(Where, by the way, she was WAY more interested in watching the performing group than looking at the trees!) So I managed to get a little of her performance on tape. But it totally does not capture fully how freaking funny it was. I love how she just grins when she's the center of attention. Remember her 2nd birthday when we started to sing and she started to grin ear to ear when she realized it was all for her? Yup. That's my girl. I wonder where she gets it?

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

 

Excuse the Mess, We're Making Memories

I saw this sign on Pinterest:

I've thought about it a lot. It's an idea that's been in my head for some time now--the idea that while I'm just keeping my head above water and trying to get through each day, paying bills, making dinner, making sure the house isn't a total wreck--in the meantime, my children are making memories. A normal day for me can be a turning point or an oft-repeated story for them when they get older.

Example:

ME: I'm in the playhouse one afternoon, sitting at the top of the slide, preparing to go down. Then, I notice at the bottom of the slide, SOMETHING is there. It looks like a snake. What if it's a snake??? Yes, it does look remarkably like a piece of jump rope or something...but WHAT IF IT'S A SNAKE??? What if I slide down and it gets me? This is not a chance I can take. The results would be too horrible. I need to be SURE it's not a snake. I sit there. I think. And then, I remember that there is one person whose always on my side and will make sure I'm ok and that the snake doesn't get me. "MOM!!!" I scream. No answer. Mom is inside and probably can't hear me. "MOM!!!!" I yell again. And again. For quite some time. Suddenly Mom is there. I tearfully and disjointedly explain that there's a snake at the bottom of the slide. Mom reaches up and picks me up from the slide and carries me, crying, into the house. As I pass the slide I get a better look at the snake. It is only a piece of jumprope. I'm sure glad Mommy rescued me anyway.

This is how I remember it. I'm sure my mother, on the other hand, has totally forgotten this incidence. Now that I'm a mom, I think I can imagine how her side of the story went.

MOM: Crap. I've got to get these dishes washed before the kids come home from school. Oh, and I've got to switch the laundry over. Where did I put that other glove I found? Was that Megan crying? Huh. Oh, there it is. I'll put it up here in the closet. Now for that laundry. Wait--was that Megan crying? I guess I'd better go look. She's in the backyard by herself. Man, I've only got five minutes and they'll all be home and wanting a snack. Oh yes, there she is. What in the world is she crying about? "Are you ok honey? A snake? That's not a snake. Come inside." Now what can I make them for lunch?

To my mother, this was just a normal incidence on a normal day. To me, it became a memory I still carry with me thirty years later. Why do I remember it? Why is this particular memory still there? Is it because I learned that Mommy will always save me? That I shouldn't be afraid? That some things appear worse than they really are? I don't know. But that day, Mom was doing the dishes, and I was making a memory.

And now I am the mom, and I wonder what is happening each day that, for me, will be insignificant and forgotten, and for them will be something they remember forever?

 I remember going up to Oregon to visit family as a child--it was a magical place. We'd spend hours chasing barn cats, wandering the farm, playing in the irrigation ditch. Now, I go up as the adult. And I just sit and visit with everyone and thoroughly enjoy myself, not really paying attention to what all the noisy kids are up to--as long as they aren't crying or bleeding, I'm good. I don't really realize that they are off--having adventures, creating memories they will always cherish, while my conversations with relatives, while enjoyable, will likely be forgotten forever.

Some people spend their entire lives trying to "get over" their childhood. But I was one of the lucky ones that had a wonderful childhood. I grew up in a loving home and was taken care of and loved. I remember my childhood as magical. Can I really make my children's childhood as magical as mine? Can I make my home the comfortable, loving, friendly place that my own home was, growing up? Or is this a magic I even create? Don't children create the magic themselves?

We were watching slides at my parent's house the other day. One of my sisters noted the clock that was in the background of one of the slides--it was the clock that hung in our kitchen for most of my childhood. And we were all like, "Oh! Remember that clock! Wow! Look at that clock!" And mom is probably like "it's just a clock I got for my wedding. Big deal." Was the clock magical? No--it was just our memories that made it that way. It was just a symbol that reminded us of a simpler time when we were comfortable, happy, and loved.

I feel this pressure to give my little girls what was given to me--a backyard that has good grass and a big playhouse and an interesting layout where they can dream and imagine and play with their friends. Right now my grass is so course and gross that you can't walk on it with bare feet, and we can hardly afford to fix it right now. I feel so bad that I'm not giving them what was given me. I'm so worried that they won't have the magical memories that I had.

But then I have an evening where we're all playing together--I'm stealing Afton's nose and she's running to Daddy, and he picks her up and "hides" her from me while I try to get at her, all the time she's letting out peals of laughter. Trevor and I hold the babies facing each other, and they giggle as we fly them around the room in our arms, Afton in the background trying to fly too. Afton goes to Grandma's house and plays in Grandpa's shop--which she talks about non-stop on the way home. Or she goes to her other Grandma's and reads an Elmo book, crying and crying when I come to take her home. These are different memories than the ones I had. And I don't know which ones she'll take with her into her adulthood. I guess all I can do is make sure that most of them are as happy and comfortable and loving as I can. All I can do is make absolutely sure that she and her sisters know they are loved, that we will do anything to make sure they are taken care of and happy, and that, when the sad times come or when they are scared, we still have each other. I think that has it's own kind of magic--the kind of magic that settles over an ordinary day and makes it into a learning opportunity and a memory that lasts a lifetime.

So even when life is a little bit messy--and my house isn't so clean--it's ok, isn't it? We're all just making memories!

Halloween

MY.LIFE.IS.CRAZY!!!!

Here's a picture of my girls, Little Bo Peep and her sheep for Halloween. Its the best I can do right now!

Five Minutes of My Life...

The Big Picture...and other random stuff...

Yeah, I know. It's about time I updated this blog. I HAVE been updating my Realscrappy blog, and some of those posts were really involved and took a lot of work. But man, free time is so difficult that I'm afraid this blog has gone on the back burner. Whenever I get a free minute, I have the hardest time choosing what to do. Surf Facebook and Pinterest? Do I work on my scrapbooks? Read my book? Work on the paper dolls I'm making for my neices birthday party? (They are going to be SOOO cute!) The other night I chose Lord of the Rings. Trevor and I watched about 45 minutes of the first one. We'll just work our way through them all. It will probably take two years. In fact, I think Afton will be potty-trained by the time we finish all three of them. (Which is going to be a LONG time from now)

 So I'm far too disorganized in mind to make an organized post. So I'm just going to take a page out of my friend Heather's book and just be random. Sometimes, those random posts are the most entertaining to read.

Pinterest - Ok, shameless plug. I am SO getting into this. If you aren't on Pinterest yet, consider it. Here's why:
1. It's a place to put all those little ideas and thoughts that come to you while surfing the net. Instead of bookmarking that tutorial or saving that picture you like, just pin it. You can come back to it later when you are ready. Where is that tutorial I was looking at for how to _____________? That's right I pinned it. I love that.
2. If you are like me and don't like surfing the net for random tutorials and ideas, you can just see what other people pinned and borrow their ideas. I am so overwhelmed with ideas and inspiration when I'm on that site!
3. I have made two recipes now that I pinned, and I loved both of them!

4. It has hilarious pins like this one. This one had me laughing out loud at 3:00 a.m. while I was pumping last night!
Ok. No more plugging. Just go check it out.

Movies - Despite my lack of time, I do manage to watch some TV. It's something I can do while feeding a baby. Or sometimes it's the only activity Trevor and I have the energy to do after the kids are finally asleep. Other than Lord of the Rings the other night, we also watch Chuck a lot, which is our new favorite show. We are working through season 3 and we love it! We watched Thor the other night. Eh. The best thing, of course, was Thor's chest, which got way too little screen time. I'd have liked more of the chest and less of--well, everything else. It wasn't that great of a movie. The love story was SO unbelievable. I felt like I was watching a video game. I swear, the world he was from is just like one of the boards on Mario Cart. (and if you've seen the movie, you know that "Rainbow Road" looks JUST LIKE the Bifrost!)

Sleep...or the lack thereof....I'm actually writing this the next morning from when I started it. Mondays and Tuesdays are crazy as I help Trevor out the door with the three kids. And then--a half hour of peaceful bliss. It's pretty much the ONLY TIME I'm EVER in the house by myself since I had the twins. I relish it. And it's so short. This morning I planned to spend my half hour going back to bed, but the temptation to do other things won over. We don't sleep much these days. The babies are no where near a sleep schedule. They do great from 7:00 to about midnight, but after that it's anyone's guess. Last night they were up every hour and a half. We are both irritable and ornery with lack of sleep--especially Trevor, who has a much harder time going without. I just don't know what to do about it.

Paperdoll Project - So my sister-in-law asked me to make some paperdolls for her daughter's birthday party in December. Wisely she asked me early, because they take a lot of time to make. But I am LOVING it. It's been so long since I was able to really draw anything, and so I've fully enjoyed it. Right now I'm working on making the dolls. I draw them, scan them in, then use Photoshop to perfect them. Then I reprint them and back them with several layers of sturdy paper. That's where I'm at now--the part I hate. Backing them is NOT fun. But here is a picture of a few of the dolls! I'm making ten of them. It's going to take forever. But then I get to design the clothes and that's my favorite part!

My Little Girls - I love my babies. All three of them. Even on days like today. It's now the evening, and I'm exhausted. The only reason I even have a minute right now is because I'm pumping. (that's right, I can type AND pump. I'm that awesome.) Its almost 8:00 and I haven't eaten anything in hours because I haven't had time. This is the first time I've sat down since getting home. Its just constant. BUT--really, isn't this worth it?

 Right now Afton is downstairs watching An American Tail which was one of my favorites as a child. It's so cute listening to her trying to sing along. She loves to learn the words to songs and sing them. Today in car she was doing quite well while watching Beauty and the Beast. We just put her in a "big bed" and she is so excited about it. It's actually the daybed I got for Christmas in 1988 and used until I married Trevor!

The twins are starting to laugh and smile, now. And that makes them SO much more fun. They are starting to interact. My predictions, based on what observations I have made so far:

1. Scarlett will roll over first. She will also discover her hands first
2. Ripley will talk first and probably walk first, too.

The Big Picture- My life is hard right now. No question. I am so crazy busy. I am a very efficient person that can get an astounding amount done in a very small amount of time, due to my complete ability to ignore small details and rush through it. I am a "big picture" person, and I can look at something and do things in order of priority to get it done. But now--now I have way more stuff to fit in than even I can handle. And that means that sometimes the laundry sits clean in its basket for several days. The mail doesn't get picked up and Netflix sits for a ridiculously long time before I remember to put it in the box. Making dinner is rare, and when I DO make it, its leads to a much more stressful night. Its taken me four days to start and finish this post. My kitchen is cluttered, my front room is littered with diaper bags and baby blankets. But I am trying to remember the big picture--those are little details now that have to be low on the priority list behind playing with Afton, taking care of the babies, and being with my husband for the few precious hours we are all home--before we all have to go back to work and daycare again.

But I am a happy woman. I have a loving husband, beuatiful children, a roof over our heads and an AWESOME new van. What else is there? And sometimes, I even find the time to be silly.

Free Time

So...I haven't updated forever. I've been even worse on my RealScrappy blog. Every time I feel guilty about it, I remind myself that I just had twins. Surely people will forgive me for taking a little hiatus, especially on my other blog. I just don't have it in me to update that one, though I have been scrapbooking here and there--I have to. I have SO MUCH to do! I'm working on three books right now! In fact, I am already feeling guilty that I'm doing this instead of that right now. Which brings me to the topic of today's post:

FREE TIME.

Remember that stuff? I used to have a lot of it. I had so much of it, I didn't know what to do with it. We're talking single girl free time. Man, I miss that. But not so much that I'd trade my lack of it as a wife and mother to go back. Still, I do miss free time. I find that when I get it, things like cleaning and laundry and showering are starting to crowd in, and I hate that. Free time is supposed to be ME time! But it seems like when I get a little bit of it, I suddenly find myself unable to decide what to do with it. And feeling guilty, no matter what I choose, for not choosing the other thing.

Take today for instance. I had a magical 90 minutes where all three of my children were fast asleep. (Three children! Hear that? I have three children. I still can't believe it, it happened so fast.) What did I do with my free time? I WATCHED ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT. How lame can you get? I was so mad at myself! My computer was off-limits since I was, at the moment, burning a DVD of when the babies were born. But I could have read my book. (I'm currently reading Inkheart, and after 150 pages it finally got really good.) I could have sewn something, or made some hairbows. Or cleaned. Or finished unpacking from our trip to Loa. Or done something that, when finished, I would have something to show for it. Instead I watched the same 30 seconds of footage of Kim Kardashian's wedding while these obnoxious wannabe reporters talked about how gorgeous her dress was and how much money she made off her wedding. What a complete waste of time!

When it's not free time, its mom time. And don't get me wrong--I love it. My babies are growing so big every day, I can hardly believe how much they've changed. Especially since they started out three oz. different in size, and now they are FOUR POUNDS different. Scarlett is 9 lbs and Ripley is a whopping 13! When you lay them side by side, they don't even look like sisters, let alone twins.

Anyway, here I am again with a bit of freetime. The children are, miraculously, asleep again. Trevor is picking up my sister and her family at the airport. And so I am going to update my blog with recent pictures of my babies, and also a video--so that when I go to work next week and people ask, I can say, "Here's a video of how cute my girls are!" And that, to me, is definately worth my time!

Well, I know I won't really have free time again for a long time. That's the price I am paying--the price every mother pays--to raise her children. But it's ok. My babies are so precious, and even though this time in my life is extremely stressful and a huge adjustment, it's also an enormous blessing. I love my little family. And my love for my husband has grown so much since I gave birth to these three little girls. I am truly blessed--even without freetime.

 

Time for Another List

So I've got a lot on my mind today--well nothing pressing, but lots of random thoughts floating around. Most of them have to do with twins, for some reason ;) I feel kinda bad that I'm one of THOSE PEOPLE right now--the ones whose every single post on Facebook is about the same thing. I hate those people. I've hidden those people before--you know, the girl that posts every single detail of her wedding plans each day. Or the girl that whines about the same subject every day. And now I'm that girl. I'm sure I've been  hidden by people. I understand if they hide me. I find MYSELF annoying. But--it's just such a huge thing for me right now, and literally is pretty much the ONLY thing I think about. Taking care of newborn twins can be a lot of work and you have to stay focused. I can't imagine how I'll manage when Trevor is back to work. There's only like a two week time period between when he goes back and when I go back--maybe I'll be glad to go back to work in the Fall?

Anyway, this post is going to be a list of random stuff. I cannot promise that none of them will be about the twins, but I CAN promise that some of them WON'T be. But, most of them will be about our lives right now and the recovery I'm going through. Sorry. (Man, sorry about the all caps every where. That is so annoying. I'm just an annoying girl!)

1. Wait. Sorry. Scarlett's crying....#1 will have to wait...STINK that baby is cute! I just love that kid! She's got the prettiest little almond shaped eyes! (Ok, ok...this is NOT about the twins. This is NOT about the twins...be strong...)

2. For most women, pregnancy is a big obstacle in keeping your weight down. Apparently for me its a great opportunity to lose weight. I lost a lot after Afton, and then I gained it right back. So I'm hoping this time I can turn that opportunity into success. In one week I have dropped 32 lbs, the last ten was in the last two days. I now weigh six lbs less than when I got pregnant! In fact, I weigh less than I have in probably two years! My stomach is still nasty and a deflated balloon, but hey! I'll take it! I put on these pants on like Wednesday or so, and they barely fit around my waist--I had to do that maternity trick where you put an elastic around the button hole to give yourself another inch. Yesterday I put them on again, and they were totally falling off of me. WEIRD. Not sure HOW I will maintain this weight loss, though, since I can't exercise for six weeks (well, five now) and it's not like I'm in the habit or have a fridge full of healthy food. Most of what I eat right now is what the ward is bringing me. And once I CAN exersize (I can never spell that word) there will only be like one week left of the summer and then I'm back at work. And it's so hard to work out when I'm working. Especially when my number of children has tripled. Wow. #2 is long.

3. I went outside yesterday. OUTSIDE. It was so exciting. Mom came over and watched the kids while Trevor and I went out to eat at Iggy's (yeah, the maintaining weight loss thing is totally gonna happen) and then we went to Macey's and bought some essentials. It felt wonderful to be OUT. Except I forgot to take a pain pill before we left so I was hurting when we got home.

4. I breast-fed BOTH babies at the same time this morning for the first time. Without anyone helping me (i.e. handing me the babies and helping me get situated.) I was so proud of myself. Of course, I still had to feed them afterward because they either they won't stay on long enough or maybe I just run out of milk. I don't know. I never really breast-fed Afton much because she hated it. But these two, especially Scarlett, do great. I only do it like once a day though. I'm still kinda mystified by the breast-feeding thing. I mean, it takes twice as long and you still have to feed them afterward--kinda hard to live that way. But I am certainly not producing enough milk for two babies--barely enough for one, actually. So I am hoping that the actual breast-feeding will increase my milk supply. And though I am managing to feed (breast or bottle) two babies at once, I don't know what the trick is to burp two babies at once.


5. I just snapped this picture of Scarlett. Isn't she cute? Ripley is asleep so I just took one of my little Miss Scarlett. I love that kid. They are both just adorable! I call Ripley Miss Peacock because when she cries out she sounds just like a peacock. Trevor does a fabulous peacock impression, and we are at the zoo he'll do a call and the peacocks will answer. One time an albino peacock at the Tucson zoo flared his feathers and shook them like he was calling Trevor on. It was pretty cool. So, I guess that's where Ripley gets it.

6. Wow. It's like...12 hours later now. Life got pretty busy after I finished #5. And then we headed out to my Mom's house for the day. I just needed a day to relax and rest and recover. It was AWESOME. I love my parent's house. I love how inviting and comfortable it is. I'm just home there, in a way I can never be home anywhere else. We sat outside in the twilight, just talking and holding babies and enjoying the breeze. It was an a great day. I was in a lot of pain for part of it, so it was nice to be babied by my mommy.

7. We need a yard. How much work is it to just roto till the back yard, plant some seed, and just sort of start over? My little Afton needs to be able to play outside. I love my mom's yard. I love how interesting and comfortable it is. And it was like that when I was a kid--I don't want Afton to miss out on a backyard until she's 11. You know?

8. My ward is awesome. They are bringing us dinner every other day for two weeks. Isn't that great? I don't think a lot of wards do that. I am very blessed. But then, these two are the ONLY babies in our ward, apart from the little boy that is due in about three weeks. I imagine if you live in one of those wards out way west where there are like 15 primaries and 52 nurseries, you probably don't get many dinners...

9. Kylee is here. She's my niece. I have some pretty awesome neices and nephews. I've always really related with Kylee. She's 13. She's going to stay for two days and help me and Trevor out. She's a fabulous babysitter--she changes diapers without being asked. And today when we got home I started doing the dishes, and she offered to help me. Seriously, I love this girl. It's gonna be a fun couple of days having her here!

10. My sister Cindy taught me a really great twin trick. When you need them to be awake but they are kinda sleepy, put them next to each other and let them kick around and watch each other. Even at this young age it totally works--unless they are REALLY tired. They just stare at each other and then they cry. Well, Scarlett cries, and Ripley whines a little bit as if she's saying, "Wait...we're crying now? Are we supposed to be crying?" I put in my first post about the twins that Scarlett was the mellow one. Well, that's because that was the PLAN. We always thought whatever twin was Ripley would be the dominant one. But no. At least for the time being, it appears to be Scarlett. Ripley is way more mellow. Ok, they are 9 days old. So who knows.

11. My sister Nicki took some SWEET pictures of the twins and of Afton. I am not going to post them here--yet. I have made up a birth announcement and I'm waiting for the few hard copies (that are for relatives) to come, and then I'll post pictures here and the announcement on Facebook. SO cute. Nicki is such an amazing photographer, and I'm so grateful to her for doing this for me! So stay tuned for those pictures. But here's one of the ones of Afton. Isn't she just adorable?

Well. I guess I'm stopping at the rather weird number of 11 things. But oh well. Right now Trevor and Kylee are feeding my babies and the mom-guilt is stepping in. So I'd better go, you know, be a parent and stuff.