More Scrapbook Stuff

So I've been trying to think of what to update my blog with and can't think of anything. So I guess I'll put in a scrapbooking update! I got my 2009 yearbook printed! Hooray! It's so exciting when you get your book back. It's all bound and glossy and beautiful! I was late getting it finished, since I have really been far more interested in Afton's book. Cannot WAIT to finish that one! It's going to be done right on time, I think, and I'll publish it this month after her 1 year birthday! So, here are some shots from the book I just published. I have sacrified the 12x12 size to get a nice 8 1/2 x 11 bound book which is much easier to store and carry and it's TOTALLY been worth it. Hooray for Cherishbound!




And here is a couple of pages from Afton's book. Oh it's gonna be so fun to see it all printed! This is the BEST PART of digital scrapbooking!

Whenever I try to look up ideas for digital scrapbooking, I'm so annoyed. I mean, every example is the same--a huge 12x12 page with ONE photo, lots of blank space, and a MILLION little doo-dads to dress it up. How is that practical? How long are these books people make where they only scrapbook one photo on every page? Where's the journaling--just as important as the picture itself? I feel a little alone in the way I do it but, oh well. That just makes me practical I guess.

Divorce - A Metaphor

Fortunately for me, I havnen't had to deal with divorce in my immediate family. I have been very lucky. My parents have a loving and healthy relationship, as do all my sisters. And I have been so happy in my own marriage. But I have seen it's affects on some of my friends. I have seen how hard it can be, how it can rip a family apart and create resentment that can last a lifetime. I've seen how spouses, after more than 20 years since their split, can still hate each other with a heated and violent hate. It's a very sad thing.

There are many causes of divorce, but there's also the standard scenario you see in movies and sadly, in real life. Husband and wife work together for years to create a home, build up their resources, and educate and raise their children. Then one day the man just gets DONE. It's to hard. There's too many kids. What about what HE wants? Can't he have time for HIM? Does he have to keep sharing and compromising all the time? And his wife has gotten older--she's no longer young and pert. He wants the newer, younger model. He wants to shake off the responsibilities that come with years of marriage.

So he leaves. He doesn't ask the wife's permission--she gets no say in his decision. He takes with him all the resouces they have worked together to build, leaving her with little income and, of course, custody of the children. He gets a fast car, a new hot girlfriend, and lives high on the hog. The wife is enbittered, angry. Doesn't he care about all they worked for together? Doesn't he care about the welfare of their children? If he's a decent guy, he pays child support. Even alimony. He makes sure that, even if he doesn't want his first wife anymore, at least thier children are provided for. For they are, after all, the innocent bystanders in this mess. They are the ones who will pay for his choice.

It's an ugly thing. I have never experienced it myself--until now. Many have compared the Jordan/Canyons split as a divorce. And they are absolutely right. Canyons, desiring to have a hot new district with all the bells and whistles they can't afford without dropping the dead-weight of too many children, leaves Jordan. Jordan gets no say in the matter. They are just left behind with all the kids and no money to support them. Like the man in the scenario, Canyons takes all the resources, as well. With the dividing line between the districts being the Jordan River--far past the hotbeds of revenue-generating commercial properties like South Towne Mall, Winco, and Costco, not to mention all the commerical lined up on both sides of the 1-15 freeway, the resources are clearly leaning only one way. Jordan shops in Canyon's stores, because they are convenient and nearby. But Canyons does not shop at Jordan stores--they are too far away, and repeats of what they already have close to home. Although both sides contribute to the revenue coming from these places, only Canyons benefits. And HE WON'T SHARE.

This divorce has causes a schism in our valley like the North and South, where everyone is taking sides and starting use words like "Them" and "Us." A valley where Christianity is king, is now falling into a divided battle, where one side says--"we don't care about your kids. We don't care if they have a lesser education. We don't care if your teachers lose their jobs. We have what WE want. We have more money for OUR kids." Nevermind that many of the east-siders have children, brothers, cousins, aunts and grand-children on the west side. They don't care. They got their hot new car and they are happy with it.

We are calling for child support. Representative Bird is bringing out a bill to equalize the per pupil spending between the districts. This bill would allow Jordan to get some of the revunue from businesses they are already supporting. It would allow teachers to keep their jobs. It would allow us to keep our homes, as taxes go sky high. If you or your child is a victim of this divorce--DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Write to your legislators. Write to the education committee. Tell them to support this bill! I have--and have already recieved two emails from two different members telling me they are supporting it. This may be the only chance our kids have to recover from this ugly divorce.

My New "BOW-dacious" Hobby!

So I've always been a "hobby" person. I've gone through various hobbies that have lasted for various lengths of time over the years. My oldest hobby is probably making paper dolls, which I still dabble in every now and then. I'll go through a few month's obsession, and then not do it again for a couple years. But, since I had a baby, this hobby--like most hobbies--has been pushed to the side for lack of time.

Then of course there's the old stand-by--scrapbooking. Like every other female in the 90's, I cut up my old priceless photos with reckless abandon--a move that I and pretty much every female in the 90's regrets. (Disclaimer: Scrapbooking nowadays isn't near as annoying and digital pictures have taken away the fear of ruining beloved photos. I am not bashing scrapbookers. End Disclaimer.) Anyway, I later discovered Digital Scrapbooking, and am much happier. It fits my personality much better.

I've tried other hobbies like crocheting--something I can do but am not all that good at--and singing--I got nodules on my vocal chords in 2003 and have never completely recovered--but now that I'm married with a baby and in "baby jail" I don't have time for a lot of my hobbies.

So now, I have a NEW hobby.

*What is it! What is it??* you all chant in excitement....

Baby Hair Bows!!! I went a little crazy. I bought a lot of stuff and just went for it. I made them first at a releif society shin-dig, and have been wanting to try it on my own ever since. So this week I just went for it. Started on Tuesday. And Afton is already sporting a ton of new bows! Not that she's all that excited about it. She isn't exactly the ideal model when I take pictures of them...

On the good side, its a hobby that is practical and has an actual use. On the bad side, Afton does NOT like the play quietly while I make them. She's pretty clingy right now. So getting time to do it is pretty challenging.

Well, here are some pictures of the ones I've made!

Here are the single bows. I love them! I just made the black one and the yellow one and haven't tried them on Afton yet--I hope the black one isn't too heavy! The blue one on the bottom was my first attempt at making a "Seattle Seahawks" bow to go with her Seahawks jersey that she's going to wear this weekend for the Super Bowl. But then I got some ribbon from Cindy that matched the Seahawks colors much better. I made these piggy tail bows:

So you can see the new cute Seattle Seahawks one. She will look adorable on Sunday! Though, I really ought to make her gold and black ones since I'm a Saints fan and MY TEAM actually MADE IT to the Super Bowl! (Ouch! Sorry Trevor! I love you!)

Anyway, I am very much obsessed with my new hobby. I guess I like the feel of something in my hands again--an aspect of scrapbooking that I miss now that I've switched to digital. I love choosing colors and ribbons and buttons and thinking of how they can go together. I am probably going to make a LOT more of them. Poor Afton. She'll be bow-bedecked for YEARS!!!

Well, I'll end this post with a picture of Afton wearing one of them. She was NOT a happy model. I took a ton of them, but this is the best I had. Sad huh?

Stubborn Like Her Father

So, the other day Trevor was watching the baby while I was at work. She would NOT go to sleep. Frustrated, he decided to put her in the crib and let her cry it out. She knows how to stand up against the crib, so once you get to that point, you know she ain't goin' to sleep. Why? Because she's STUBBORN. I'm not stubborn. That's one thing I can say about me. That's the good side. The bad side is that I give in really easy and forgive people quickly--so quickly sometimes that I forget what the did and don't learn from it. And I expect everyone else to forgive ME quickly, which doesn't always happen. Anyway, I'm not stubborn. She gets this from her daddy. There are times when that kid ain't going down without a fight.

Do you want proof? Well here it is. After standing against the crib, crying, and INSISTING she would NOT go to sleep, she finally quieted down. Surprised, Trevor went to check on her. This is what he found.

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Now, maybe out there in Mommy land you are nodding your head and saying, "oh yeah, ALL babies do that. My kid did that five times. A day. For five years. That is nothing new and exciting." If this what you are thinking, keep it to yourself. Because in MY Mommy land, this is friggin' hilarous.

Trevor, you ARE the father!

So we had a nice evening over at Trevor's parents the other day. We watched slides. We have family slides in our family, too, but it's been a long time since we looked at them. Mainly because we have seen them so many times, we have them memorized. Plus, Mom had an album for each of us as we were growing up where she stored pictures of us. But it's not like that in Trevor's family. Albums--well, they just don't exist. Everything is on slides. And there's no way to have them all memorized, because there are THOUSANDS of them. I'm not even kidding. While my family may have the advantage in printed, easily accesible photos from our childhood, Trevor's family has the advantage of good photography. Mom had a way of having us stand in front of some sort of bush or tree in our sunday clothes. I have a MILLION pictures like that. But not a lot of in-action or up-close shots. Plus, poor Mom always had a pretty cheap camera. Add acid-filled albums from the 80's, and well, it's not pretty.

Eek! Is that them building SOUTH TOWNE MALL in the background? Wow.

I love how I'm totally distracted by the cat walking by in this one. Oh, and the socks are awesome too.

Don't get me wrong--I am SO GRATEFUL my mother bothered to take pictures, get the developed, and then put them in albums for us. Pretty ahead of her time if you ask me, in the days before scrapbooking.

Anyway, that's not really what this post is about.

Since Trevor's baby pictures are on slides, this presents a few problems. First of all, they are pretty inaccessible. It is of course possible to scan them or whatever, but this takes timing and planning, and since my father-in-law spent a whole summer organizing them by date a few years ago, he is understandably not very keen on giving you free reighn with them. Can't blame him for that.

Also, Trevor hasn't seen them that much. I'd NEVER seen them. Everyone thought that Afton looked like Trevor when she was born, and now she looks a lot more like me. Well, I couldn't argue. I had no baby pictures of Trevor to compare to, and my own baby pictures are pretty slim. I was the youngest of five--I was lucky I got fed.

So the other day we managed to snag some pictures of a few of Trevor's baby pictures after our slide-fest. And I have wonderful news. In true Maury Povich style:

Trevor, you ARE the father!

But then, there's also this:


















So--she's pretty much exactly like both of us. She definately got his ears, but she's got my eyes. Either way, she's HERSELF and I adore her! (even though right now I keep having to pull her away from the outlets, which we have those kid safety things in, which she has figured out how to pull out...) (And yes, I am flipping the bird in this picture.)

...Counting My Blessings...

Just before Christmas I watched one of my favorite Christmas shows--White Christmas. It's amazing how, back then, the musical numbers didn't have to make sense at all. Its ok to just throw in wierd costumes, strange lyrics and dance numbers with no real point. It was ok. Because the dancing was so incredible you didn't care. Like that one number--where Danny Kaye is singing "they're doin' choreography" and it's so hilarious--why does Vera Ellen suddenly appear in all pink and just have some random dance number that has nothing to do with the song? Why does she and her partner spin around on some wierd tri-cornered rollie thingie? Does it matter? No. this is the 50's. They could DO that back then.

Anyway, I digress.

Tonight I was sitting here wondering what I should write about, and one of the scenes from White Christmas came to me. It's one of the few numbers in the movie that is NOT a production number, and actually fits the storyline. It's where Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney--ok, Bob and Betty--are sitting in the lodge having buttermilk, and he sings this really sweet, short and simple song:

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

It's funny that this other verse does not appear in the movie--the one about the curly heads in the nursery. I didn't know it existed until I looked it up. It must be on versions he produced later. But it fits so well with where my heart is tonight.

My bankroll is getting small. I get so stressed sometimes. But then I think of when I had none at all--when Trevor wasn't working, and I was so stressed because we didn't have a direction for him. How it used to just NAG at me, until I could hardly stand it. And I count my blessings. My bankroll is still small--but Trevor is in school, he knows what he wants to do, and he is loving this direction. My bankroll is small, yes, but there is hope in the future. And, more, it's still enough. I have a home, and I am not about to lose it. I count my blessings.

And I think about the nursery, just next door to me, where sleeps a little curly head (I know 'cause I put a million rollers in it today) and I am so amazed that she's mine--that the love Trevor and I have for eachother created her. Sometimes I'm just amazed by that. I look at her little wiggling body, she makes these hilarous sounds, and I think--we MADE that. In one day--we express our love, and out of it comes an entire human life. It happens every day, but now I really know what a miracle it is. I count my blessings.

So I guess now I can fall alseep--counting my blessings!

Goodbye, Ballroom

Today I had my last rehearsal with my ballroom team. It is the last EVER. Next Wednesday we will perform in the talent show, and then--goodbye to the ballroom program at my middle school. I'm calling it quits.

I started the program three years ago, when interest in ballroom was high and I asked around to a few of my students, and they were all very enthusiastic about the idea of my starting a ballroom club. I was married but childless, and had time for it--even though that year I was teaching seven periods a day with no break. I was a bit of a basketcase.

Anyway, the first year, I started the Club. Within three days I had over sixty kids signed up, half boys and half girls. It took a little longer to get the boys, but the always come. The world is full of boys who want to dance--or are at least willing to try it--if they get talked into it enough. It was a real success that year. I ran the club for the whole first semester of school, and also held auditions for a ballroom team.I taught them a dance, and then they performed it at the school talent show, which I am also in charge of. Looking back, I'm stunned that I got such amazing dancers that year--particularly boys. It was an awesome year. The kids did a viennese waltz to the theme from the Pirates of the Caribbean. I made the skirts for their costumes myself--as inept a seamstress as I was. I put my soul into it. I wasn't paid that year--it was strictly voluntary. And what fun we had!

I was eager to try it again the following year. I shortened the club portion down to about 10 weeks. Again I had about sixty kids sign up, and I taught them cha-cha, swing, waltz, mambo and many others. I had help from my good friend Torin and my sister Aundi. My principal, seeing the success of my program, and with help from an article in South Valley Journal to keep it higher profile, offered to pay me that year. $300! Yay! My team was awesome. We did a latin medley--starting with Samba, then Mambo, Rhumba, and last Cha-cha to Let's Get Loud. It was definately the hardest dance I choreographed out of all three years. I was pregnant during the whole of that semester, but I still did it! It was great to see kids from the year before come back to help. It was awesome to see kids change and grow--particularly ones that had been 8th graders the first year and had made team again. I saw them gain confidence and a love of dancing. It felt good to help them find something special within themselves.


This year, however, has been frought with difficulties. There is a new administration, and the school district itself is a new place. There's no money for anything. I still don't know if they'll pay me or not. Buying anything for team such a shoes and costumes--paid for by the students, but with new purchasing rules that make everything difficult--put me in tears more than once. Chronic absences on team plagued us. I never had a practice with all 20 members until our last two practices. Someone always had something more important to do. There were injuries too. The dance is a swing, to the song "Nice Guys Finish Last" by Cobra Starship. Thank you Torin for leading me to it! Its not the hardest dance I've ever choreographed, but I think it's my favorite! Cindy and I spent hours making the petti-skirt costumes for it. HOURS upon HOURS. I'm not sure why we did it. But the results are remarkable. The most gorgeous costumes I've ever seen. And neither of us were paid a dime to do it.

(Sorry this isn't the best picture-all the good ones are on my computer at school! But here's a shot of one of the couples, so you can see how cute the skirt is! And I blurred out their faces--dont' want them recognizeable without parent permission...)


Anyway, with all the difficulties, it's been a question whether I should continue the program at all. I wrote out some pros and cons:

Cons:
1. I have a baby now--I'm giving away time I could be spending with her
2. I have daycare--staying after school means someone else has to watch her longer
3. It's too hard to purchase shoes and costumes with the stringent purchasing rules
4. My administration seems to think the whole program is a pain
5. I'm not sure they are going to pay me this year, and I'm SURE they won't next year. I'm not really in it for the money but--well, it DOES take a lot of time.
5. I'm tired.
6. Morale is low--teachers are getting paid less and less, and I don't want to do anything extra anymore--not when it isn't appreciated. Yes, I know the kids miss out on opportunities, but if teachers keep giving for free, they'll never see a reason to pay us what we're worth. Or at least HALF of what we're worth.

Pros:

1. I have seen how this program can change the lives of students--I hate to take that opporunity away from them.

Lots of cons. One BIG pro. But like I said, I've made my choice. For next year at least, there will be no ballroom program at my middle school. It was an original program--something no other middle school, to my knowledge, could offer. But I can't do it anymore. I'm done. I will miss it a lot. But oh--when the talent show is over next week, how relieved I will feel!

I hope this post doesn't sound like I'm "tooting my own horn". Yeah, it probably does. Maybe I am a little. I'm proud of what I've accomplished, and I'm very sad it's going to be over. I guess I just feel so tired, so underappreciated. I hear how pretty much every option my district has for balancing the budget is paying teachers less, and I think, "why do I do this? Why should I do more than I absolutely have to?" Yes, I know. For the kids. Well, I got my own kid now. I feel very discouraged--and everyone in the district is. You feel it in the air. Its like I work in a completely different place than I did last year. It's been a rough year, needless to say. The hormones and changes from having a baby haven't helped.

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I have added a video of this year's routine! They haven't performed it yet, but this is at Saturday's dress rehearsal.