...Counting My Blessings...

Just before Christmas I watched one of my favorite Christmas shows--White Christmas. It's amazing how, back then, the musical numbers didn't have to make sense at all. Its ok to just throw in wierd costumes, strange lyrics and dance numbers with no real point. It was ok. Because the dancing was so incredible you didn't care. Like that one number--where Danny Kaye is singing "they're doin' choreography" and it's so hilarious--why does Vera Ellen suddenly appear in all pink and just have some random dance number that has nothing to do with the song? Why does she and her partner spin around on some wierd tri-cornered rollie thingie? Does it matter? No. this is the 50's. They could DO that back then.

Anyway, I digress.

Tonight I was sitting here wondering what I should write about, and one of the scenes from White Christmas came to me. It's one of the few numbers in the movie that is NOT a production number, and actually fits the storyline. It's where Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney--ok, Bob and Betty--are sitting in the lodge having buttermilk, and he sings this really sweet, short and simple song:

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

It's funny that this other verse does not appear in the movie--the one about the curly heads in the nursery. I didn't know it existed until I looked it up. It must be on versions he produced later. But it fits so well with where my heart is tonight.

My bankroll is getting small. I get so stressed sometimes. But then I think of when I had none at all--when Trevor wasn't working, and I was so stressed because we didn't have a direction for him. How it used to just NAG at me, until I could hardly stand it. And I count my blessings. My bankroll is still small--but Trevor is in school, he knows what he wants to do, and he is loving this direction. My bankroll is small, yes, but there is hope in the future. And, more, it's still enough. I have a home, and I am not about to lose it. I count my blessings.

And I think about the nursery, just next door to me, where sleeps a little curly head (I know 'cause I put a million rollers in it today) and I am so amazed that she's mine--that the love Trevor and I have for eachother created her. Sometimes I'm just amazed by that. I look at her little wiggling body, she makes these hilarous sounds, and I think--we MADE that. In one day--we express our love, and out of it comes an entire human life. It happens every day, but now I really know what a miracle it is. I count my blessings.

So I guess now I can fall alseep--counting my blessings!