Divorce - A Metaphor

Fortunately for me, I havnen't had to deal with divorce in my immediate family. I have been very lucky. My parents have a loving and healthy relationship, as do all my sisters. And I have been so happy in my own marriage. But I have seen it's affects on some of my friends. I have seen how hard it can be, how it can rip a family apart and create resentment that can last a lifetime. I've seen how spouses, after more than 20 years since their split, can still hate each other with a heated and violent hate. It's a very sad thing.

There are many causes of divorce, but there's also the standard scenario you see in movies and sadly, in real life. Husband and wife work together for years to create a home, build up their resources, and educate and raise their children. Then one day the man just gets DONE. It's to hard. There's too many kids. What about what HE wants? Can't he have time for HIM? Does he have to keep sharing and compromising all the time? And his wife has gotten older--she's no longer young and pert. He wants the newer, younger model. He wants to shake off the responsibilities that come with years of marriage.

So he leaves. He doesn't ask the wife's permission--she gets no say in his decision. He takes with him all the resouces they have worked together to build, leaving her with little income and, of course, custody of the children. He gets a fast car, a new hot girlfriend, and lives high on the hog. The wife is enbittered, angry. Doesn't he care about all they worked for together? Doesn't he care about the welfare of their children? If he's a decent guy, he pays child support. Even alimony. He makes sure that, even if he doesn't want his first wife anymore, at least thier children are provided for. For they are, after all, the innocent bystanders in this mess. They are the ones who will pay for his choice.

It's an ugly thing. I have never experienced it myself--until now. Many have compared the Jordan/Canyons split as a divorce. And they are absolutely right. Canyons, desiring to have a hot new district with all the bells and whistles they can't afford without dropping the dead-weight of too many children, leaves Jordan. Jordan gets no say in the matter. They are just left behind with all the kids and no money to support them. Like the man in the scenario, Canyons takes all the resources, as well. With the dividing line between the districts being the Jordan River--far past the hotbeds of revenue-generating commercial properties like South Towne Mall, Winco, and Costco, not to mention all the commerical lined up on both sides of the 1-15 freeway, the resources are clearly leaning only one way. Jordan shops in Canyon's stores, because they are convenient and nearby. But Canyons does not shop at Jordan stores--they are too far away, and repeats of what they already have close to home. Although both sides contribute to the revenue coming from these places, only Canyons benefits. And HE WON'T SHARE.

This divorce has causes a schism in our valley like the North and South, where everyone is taking sides and starting use words like "Them" and "Us." A valley where Christianity is king, is now falling into a divided battle, where one side says--"we don't care about your kids. We don't care if they have a lesser education. We don't care if your teachers lose their jobs. We have what WE want. We have more money for OUR kids." Nevermind that many of the east-siders have children, brothers, cousins, aunts and grand-children on the west side. They don't care. They got their hot new car and they are happy with it.

We are calling for child support. Representative Bird is bringing out a bill to equalize the per pupil spending between the districts. This bill would allow Jordan to get some of the revunue from businesses they are already supporting. It would allow teachers to keep their jobs. It would allow us to keep our homes, as taxes go sky high. If you or your child is a victim of this divorce--DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Write to your legislators. Write to the education committee. Tell them to support this bill! I have--and have already recieved two emails from two different members telling me they are supporting it. This may be the only chance our kids have to recover from this ugly divorce.