Useless Talents

In junior high I remember that the kids who had physical talents got a lot of attention. I was sometimes one of them--whenever I felt self-conscious, I would pull out paper and pencil and start drawing. And then I'd make sure someone saw it and BAM--immediate acceptance. Well, to an extent. Until my inherant ability to irritate got in the way. (I've seen few 7th graders in my career that are more annoying than I was at the age--but there have been a few...)

Now I teach junior high and I see the same thing. The kids with talents for athletics, music, dance, and art get attention. Everyone praises how wonderful and talented they are. We just had auditions for the school musical, and I had a hand in casting it. At the rehearsal today, I sensed a reverence the other kids seemed to feel when around the leads--they were talented.

It's strange how those things can not only matter very little when you become an adult, but can also become a detriment. It's easy to get sucked in to the selfish world of music and drama--which requires so much time and gives nothing practical in return--only the self-satisfaction of feeling good. I suppose that must be addicting, and a part of me longs for it--standing on a stage, the world at my feet, with all in awe of my talent. But then I realized two things: I'm not that good, and I'm too practical to go that way. Basically, unless you are really lucky, physical talents don't get you jack in the long run. I'd rather be good at Math, or have a knack for making money. Yeah--I want THOSE talents...

It made me think of the physical talents I have been blessed with. I have many physical talents and I'm mediocre at all of them. Which is actually fine with me. I discovered art first--drawing in church, and on every scrap of paper I could muster. Here's a picture I drew in the 4th grade. I value this greatly, as it's the earliest drawing of mine that I have.

Drawing sustained me for years--I spent most of my youth improving my skill, finally settling on a Disney style I can't get out of, as a result of an obsession for the Little Mermaid in the 7th grade. If you knew me then, you know what I'm talking about!

Over the years as I've gotten older, drawing has become less and less important. In fact, the only time I draw at all is when I'm bored--in church or in meetings, sometimes in school assemblies. It's a way out of boredom and no more. And actually I like it that way. I had no real desires to become "an artist" not after my sister Cindy told me when I was five that "artist's starve." Stark but true, and apparently I listened. My only outlet now is occasionally working on my paper doll set--I have several that I work on. I've made paper dolls ever since I can remember, and it's something I still enjoy from time to time. One day, Afton is going to have a KILLER set.

I just scanned these in--this set has 12 different dolls and over 200 outfits! I started thet set in 1998, and I just keep making new dolls and new clothes and throwing out the old. The pink dress was actually designed by my neice Millie (6) who told me what she wanted and then I created it. She was thrilled.


Other talents? I went through a writing stage. It started in 8th grade when I went thorugh one of those periods where all my friends hated me. I was lonely so I started a book. And actually finished it two years later. Sucks, but it's finished. Then I wrote another one my senior year. And then I started a third before my mission and finished it when I got home. That one, Gifted, is actually quite good and I wish I could publish it, but I have no aspirations to be a writer, and therefore no real motivation to go through the hell that is publishing a first novel. I've written poetry here and there, and short stories. But always I knew that I just wasn't a natural--I just liked to do it for a hobby and nothing more.

Singing. Discovered this one in 9th grade. I have a good voice, once a solid voice, and was thrilled when I found I could sing. But it's proved to be a rather useless talent as well. I'm no where near good enough to be the lead in a play, and teaching has completely ruined my voice anyway. I got nodules on my vocal chords after a breif stint in Little Shop of Horrors, which I had to drop, and my voice has never really been the same since. Now I can hardly sing in church after a week of teaching my classes and ballroom. There goes that.

Which brings me to my last talent--dance. Again--not one I'm all too good at. I danced on a ballroom team in high school--more for the social life and the high of performing than for a love of the art. If I'd known I'd end up teaching it in junior high, maybe I would have bothered to learn it better. Dance is one of the most useless talents of all--there is NO future in it.

So here I am, this artsy fartsy girl with mediocre gifts--and where have they gotten me? Why do we give such praise to them, when they are impractical and so impossible to make a career out of? I'm better of with my computer knowledge, my talent for teaching and handling students--they have been far more useful to me than singing or dancing or any of the others. But I guess it's those little talents that make life interesting--that give you a little something more to offer, to spice up your life. As always, my practical nature wins out. I'm glad I was given these gifts--and I'm even MORE glad that I'm only mediocre at them. I don't want them for a career--I want them to be dessert--something I dabble in occasionally for pure fun rather than to make money.

I suppose no talent is truly USELESS, so long as we are learning from it. It's not like all those years and money spent on ballroom are wasted because I'm not on Dancing with the Stars. I learned to socialize--I changed from that obnoxous 7th grader so a slightly more tolerable 9th grader, to the amazing humble person I am today ;) But still, I see talents in my students that they don't even know they have, or don't really appreciate. They are wasting their time wishing they could sing better or dance like that girl or play football as good as so-and-so. And in ten years, it won't really matter who was the better singer. There are those rare shining exceptions who manage to make a career out of their physical talents, but the rest of us are ordinary people living ordinary lives, and the talent for just getting through it with a smile on your face is far more prized.

Anyway, I'm done now. What is with the long thoughtful posts?

Waxing Philosophic About Teachers/Parents

Tonight I was at my school doing the audition callbacks for the school musical. We had a parent come, very upset about some issues with her child. I was not the one under fire--but it made me think about the whole parent/teacher relationship in the public school system.

In elementary school they're all friends. Parents come to help in the classroom--they read with their kid and other kids, help with math, and do all sorts of things to make the teacher's life easier. It's a wonderful partnership--and much needed. I subbed enough for elementary school teachers to know that they have it as rough as we junior high teachers do, if in a different way. I guess it depends on what kind of "rough" you can handle. They get no breaks! They can't get stuff done while their kids work! If they mess up, their kids CAN'T READ. I mean, they have a tough job.

Anyway, then Junior High comes along. And suddenly the parent is the enemy. We don't want them in our rooms, and they don't want to be there either. They don't know how to handle the swearing, the crowded hallways, the chance that there will be a confrontation with a student. They don't know the advanced subject, they just don't seem to BELONG. We don't want them to know how much we get frustrated, how often we have to yell, and listen to any critism from someone who just doesn't understand. We don't really know what to DO with them. I imagine it must be a shock for them, this sudden change in attitude. I guess one day I'll find out.

Most parents I deal with are awesome. I'd say about 95%. And honestly, I have very little interaction with them other than an occasional email, a phone call with a question, parent teacher conferences. I teach an easy exploratory class, where most kids get an A to a B. I have very few parents mad at me. I really feel for those Math teachers, man. I make a point of answering every parent email immediately, I try to be as respectful as I can. I know they've got a tough job too, raising teenagers.

But parents can really be the enemy sometimes--I try not to feel that way, but every now and then you have an experience that just makes you wonder why you bother. On Monday we had play auditions--I was there from 7:00 to 5:00. Then I drove home, gulped down some food, picked up Afton, and returned to school for our Literacy Night. (you are supposed to bring your families to it.) I was tired, hungry, and cranky. I had a baby to take care of. I had to be at a booth all night and take pictures of the event, and I had let my battery run down in my camera and had to run to my classroom to get it. They blocked all the hallways and the only way to get to my classroom was through the libary--where a line of parents and students extended forever, waiting to get their Fablehaven books signed by Brandon Mull, who was visiting our school. I was tired, hot, and overwhelmed. I tried to get past the line to get to the far doors that woudl lead me to my hallway. A student was standing in my way and I called out, "Excuse me!" she didn't hear me. I raised my voice, trying to get my massive baby stroller past her. Again she didnt' hear me so I raised my voice again. I imagine I sounded exhasperated. I didn't want to just tap her with the stroller. And some old bat mother says, "Just CALM DOWN!" (telling someone to calm down, by the way, is a SURE FIRE way to wind them up even further...) I turned to her and apologized, saying something incoherant about how I had to get through to get my battery. "WELL," She says again, totally rude, "You can just calm down!" I turned again and said I was sorry. A student next to her nudged her and said under her breath, "She's a teacher!" I didn't have my badge on, see. Then she says it AGAIN all rude. And I got all quiet and said, "i'm sorry--I've just really worked hard for tonight," (and I HAD. I'd made the passports we used on Photoshop, printed 800 copies, sliced them into fourths, made the posters for the school, etc) And then I left. And started crying. Because I'd worked so hard, for free, to make that night possible, to help with the school play, to do ballroom team--all this stuff, and some old BAT yells at me like that? I was so upset. It's parents like that that I dread. (CLEARLY it's been a long time since SHE had to maneuver a stroller...)

Do parents realize that we are PEOPLE? That they can cause us just as much emotional damage as we can cause their kids--MORE? I had an email from a parent once--totally unprovoked, totally unfair, which accused me of everything from being the worst teacher in the school to destroying her daughter's confidence. She even threatened to get me fired. Why? No idea. Had her student 3rd quarter, (this was the end of the year) and she got an A. Never had a trouble with her. Not a THING. It was such an awful email I went into my back room and cried for twenty minutes. I called one of the administrators who talked me through it. And to this day, every time I open a parent email I think of taht woman--I remember those awful, cruel words. I'm afraid it's another one like that. It doesn't matter that she later apologized, that she spoke to one of my former students who praised me to the skies and explained what kind of teacher I really was. It doesn't matter that she was wrong and admitted it. I've been emotionally damaged. I'm terrified of parents. And her kid is FINE.

It's a scary profession. Good thing I love teaching. I love being in front of these students, being a part of their lives, having an influence over even small aspects of their world. I am fascinated to watch them become who they are going to be. They come to visit you from the high school and they've grown so tall and gotten so grown up. It's the beautiful thing about my job. But parents scare the tar out of me.

Sorry. This was SO LONG.

And Here She Is!

And here's the lady who needs no further introduction than...

ROCK LOBSTER!!!

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

(I posted it on Facebook, too, but not everyone checks that, and EVERYONE has to see how cute my baby girl is!)

10 Random Things - And it's not even a "tag"

So I'm super boring. I've been thinking for weeks now that I need to update my blog, but can't think of a single thing to write about. Am I that boring? Do I really have nothing interesting going on in my life? Do I just not think deeply about anything? So I thought I'd just make a list of random thoughts...

1. I'm at school right now. Today my kids are working on their power points (though right now it's my prep and my room is empty, hooray!) I love power point days. The kids work and I play and it's awesome.

2. I spent most of yesterday (another power point day) designing buttons. I'm getting kind of obsessed. I bought a badge-making machine or a class project, and instead of making soap, now the kids make badges. So I made a bunch of designs. Sometimes I make them and put them in a candy jar, and when the kids are good they get to pick one. Here's a few designs I made:


3. Afton REFUSES to roll over. I'm not exactly worried about it so much as annoyed. With Nicki's baby Tyson--18 hours younger--already crawling, and Kelly's baby Jenna, three months YOUNGER--already rolling, I'm wondering why the crap my baby is so lazy. She's done it before. But she just forgot how. Yesterday we put her on her stomach and watched her squirm like a slug and whine like a hyenna until we finally had pity and sat her up. All she really wants to do is sit up, all the time. And she's very good at THAT at least. She's drooling like no other now, and gets her whole front soaking wet. Sweet baby.

4. There's this kid I know from ages ago who won't add me as a friend on Facebook. In fact, I think he blocked me. I'm SO annoyed. What the hell? He's friends with other friends of mine. We used to be good friends. But we HAVE kissed before. Think his wife won't let us be friends or what? Makes me mad. Stupid kid. As if I'm a threat now. If THAT is the rule, then he can't be friends with half the girls who went to BYU...I feel better now.

5. Everyone is sick. Last week in ballroom team I had SIX KIDS not show up because they're sick. What do you say to that? Of course they can't come--but what's the point of holding a rehearsal? I'm afraid we won't be ready to perform by January 6th--especially if they all keep missing. Last year NO ONE ever missed. What the crap?

6. I'm reading Fablehaven right now. It's awesome. I highly reccommend it--especially if you are a Harry Potter fan. I'm meeting the author next week! (like everyone else in Utah...)

7. Grr... I'm getting SO fat. I'd thank DeLayna for the clothes she gave me the other day that saved my bacon, but she never checks my blog. (Do you Del? Come out come out! I DARE you to leave a comment and reveal yourself!)

8. This weekend I'm going to a baby sealing for my friend Heather. Her little boy is being sealed to them on Halloween! I'm very excited (if excited ist he right word--maybe honored is better) because I know it will be amazing. Going to her daughter Holland's sealing was one of the most amazing things I've ever been a part of in the temple.

9. I'm pretty sure I lost my ballroom shoes. But I haven't really looked, because if i do then I won't find them and then they'll REALLY be lost. I do that a lot, and I lose things a lot. And I wait so long to look that by the time I do I've forgotten all surrounding events that might have helped me find it. This includes the $600 camera in my backroom. Put it there end of the year last year, now it's gone. Did I lose it? Did someone steal it? Who knows. Gotta file a report on that. And yes, I've told my administrators. Racked my brains, and all I can remember thinking is, "Where can I put this where no one will find it?"

10. Next weekend we're going over to our friends Ryan and Anna's to play games. I love going there. Ryan buys games by the crate and sells them for way cheap at Christmas time. Every time we go over there we play the newest coolest board games. We are in the market for a new game this Christmas! I wonder what we'll get?

That's all for today. I hope you enjoyed my ranting. I gobble up my friends' blogs so quickly--check it every morning and I'm so happy when there's an update (aren't I pathetic?) so here's something for all four of you that read this. Hooray!

The biggest jerk in West Jordan...that I know....

Ok so here's my story. I'm going to try to be as fair as I can here. But I'm telling you, I think I just met the BIGGEST JERK COP in all of West Jordan.

So tonight around 9:00 p.m. Trevor and I are driving along 1300 West to go to my sister sister's house to pick up our baby. The street my sister lives on is one that you can miss really easily. I've done it many times. Plus it's dark. Trevor says, "Did I miss the street?" and I say, "no...it's right here!"

Trevor has to touch his breaks a bit to slow down, but as he was going about 35 in a 35 MPH zone, not very hard. He makes a sharp turn onto Jen's street. Trevor had already noticed there was a car behind us that was tailgating us. He got even closer after the turn. Then the guy turns on his brights at us. Trevor tapped his breaks to let the guy know that he was too close. We were only a few hundred yards after the turn at this point. So after Trevor taps his breaks, on come the cop lights. We were stunned.

I say to Trevor, "How fast were you going? You weren't speeding!" And Trevor said he knew he was going the speed limit. So this cop walks up to the window. I never even saw his face. He says, "What's going on tonight?"

I say (and honestly, I did NOT have a mean tone, I was genuinely confused) I said, "I hope you can tell us officer..." and then he absolutely flips out. Rips into me like NO OTHER. Tells me to not give him lip, and that he can give us a ticket and he doesn't want to hear from me, and asks Trevor to step out of the car. What? I was so confused. Then he rips into me some more. I was having the hardest time with this. I'd never been treated like that by a cop before.

So he asks Trevor how fast he was going, and Trevor said he knew he was going 35. The guys says, all superior, "You were going 31. And then you were going only 5" (Cause duh, we'd just taken a turn you idiot...) and he goes on about how Trevor shouldn't have taken a hard turn, and then driven so slow, and then that he tapped his brakes, which causes "road rage" (yeah, obviously...) Then he wants our story, and Trevor starts to explain and I said along with him, "he thought he missed the turn," and the guys absolutly flips out again. Something like, "I don't need your LIP! You have TWO CHOICES! I can give your husband a ticket or you can stop talking back blah blah blah." I say nothing. He says "Well?" And I start crying and saying I didn't want to say anything for fear I'd say the wrong thing.

Then he asks where we're going. Says he lives in the neighborhood. We say to pick up our daughter. "Where?" "Just down the street." "Which house?" (Can you BELEIVE THIS??) Then Trevor says to get our baby from my sister and gives her name. "I know her," he says. "I know her other sister too, the one in Sandy," and Trevor says their names. It was like he didn't believe we were who we said we were. How could I be sister to such nice upstanding people when I'm clearly a no-account with an attitude. (Oh, yes, he also accused me at some point for having an attitude...grrr..)

So then he gives Trevor this long lecture about driving safe and how he's just doing his job and finally lets us go. I was so upset. We went to my sister's, and she was surprised by he behavior. He's in her ward. He's in the young men's presidency. She thinks he's a SALT LAKE cop, and might not be a traffic cop. If he's out of his jurisdiction, can he write a ticket? Well, maybe if we did something to warrant it, and it did seem like he was doing everything he could to provoke us.

I was just crying when I told my sister about it. I felt like I'd been verbally abused and totally didn't deserve it. Trevor did NOTHING WRONG. When he brighted us, that was the first act of agression. Trevor simply warned him to back off. And he pulls us over for THAT? Trevor is considering filing a complaint. What do YOU think? Am I totally out of line here?

My Digital Scrapbooks--So Far.

So my friend Lisa posted some of her digi-scrap pages on her blog, and I thought I'd do the same. It made me very excited to share what I've been working on! This year has been harder, because I'm working on TWO books instead of one. I'm doing my yearbook, as always, for the year 2009. Which, sad to say, I'm a little behind on. Not too bad, but still behind. And then I'm doing Afton's first year book, which is getting ridiculously long. It's already 60 pages, and I'm only on her 6th month. It's gonna COST ME to get it printed! Well, it'll be around $120 is my guess, maybe more. Not too bad, really. Anyway, for Afton's book I couldn't find a digi-kit that suited my baby girl, so I made my own! My first kit! It's kinda primitive-there's a lot of stuff people do in digital kits that amaze me and I have no idea how they do it. But what I've got works! I print my books from a company called Cherishbound, which binds them in a regular 8 1/2 x 11 size. So these are the two pages together.

Here are some pages from Afton's book:







And here are a few pages from my regular yearbook:



The pioneer day one is the last page I did--so I'm still behind by several months! How am I going to do this with multiple children???
Anyway, it's an awesome hobby to have and I love it. It's still a lot easier than regular scrapping. I just hate how I cut up all my pictures back in the olden days. I have a post all about it if you care to read it.

The Saga of Titus

This is my cat, Titus.

He's a very frustrating cat. Last year I desperately wanted a second cat, because our current cat, Tarzan, only loved my husband and not me. I wanted a cat to love ME. I was five months pregnant, and I was very stupid. If I had just waited a few months, I would have realized that once the baby came, I could care less about any cats.

Regardless, we got a cat. He lived next door to my mom, and every time we came over he was so friendly and sweet. One time Tarzan stayed over there for a weekend while we were on vacation, and the two of them played and played. We thought, "wow! A cat Tarzan likes and gets along with! Wish he were ours!" When they neighbors found out we felt that way, they offered him to us. Said that it was their daughter's cat and she was getting married to an allergic guy. So after a week of Trevor ho-humming, not sure (I was totally sure) we brought him home.

Big Mistake.

Now I'm going to take a page out of Leslie's book and just list it all out.

Why I love this cat:

• He's super friendly. All the neighbors know and like him. He goes into their houses. Sometimes in the middle of the night through the dog door.
• He's NICE. He never scratches unless seriously provoked. When kids come over, we tell them to pet Titus, not Tarzan--who would as soon kill them and bury them in the backyard.
• He has some funny habits. Like he goes on walks with us. (Well, Tarzan does too...) He does some pretty funny things. He likes dogs, and he likes other cats too.
• He's cuddly. He will always let you pet him, likes to jump up on your chest and lay there, and will sleep with you--though he tends to lay down in weird places, or just wants to sleep on your chest or your side.

Why this cat is sometimes a demon from hell:

• He sheds like no other. His fur is everywhere. The stairs are COVERED in it. He's way worse than Tarzan. Drives me crazy.
• HE NEVER SHUTS UP. This cat meows constantly. I mean ALL THE TIME. In the middle of the night especially. And he doesn't want anything--he just wakes you up and meows and meows, and he doesn't want you to pet him or feed him or let him out. He just wants to be annoying.
• He's not bright. At all. The cat is incapable of learning anything. All attempts to train him have failed. When you squirt water at him, he just looks at you like "what?"
• He TERRORIZES Tarzan. They used to play all the time. Then Afton came and Tarzan decided he was done being friends. Hates him. But Titus doesn't care. He still attacks him at every opportunity, which results in huge cat fights in the middle of the house. I mean, screaming yowling cat fights from one room to the next.

So what do you do? Do you put up with this for the next fifteen years until one of them croaks? Honestly, since having a baby--I could care less about having cats at all. If they were both gone tomorrow I'd jump for joy. It's amazing how little pets can mean to you after you have a family. And we realized pretty quick that the family we got him from was just trying to get rid of him. Their daughter actually got ANOTHER cat after we took Titus!! Can you believe that??

So yesterday, I got desperate. I have begged Trevor to let me put Titus up on KSL. He IS a good pet, and would be great for another family. One with kids, or dogs, or a house full of deaf people. He's been pretty adamant about me not doing it. I don't see why--I mean, it's not like we're taking him to the humane society where he might get put down! We're finding a home for him that will be a better fit!

So I just DID IT. I put up an ad yesterday morning. I even mentioned that he's not bright and that he's very vocal. I really didn't think anyone would call. I planned on telling Trevor as soon as he called on his way home from work. But then things got crazy and I totally forgot.

So how does he find out? Yikes. We're at the store, with Henry and the baby, and my phone rings. I'm paying for the items so I hand my phone to Trevor. He answers it, then looks at me with this betrayed look on his face and says, "You put Titus on KSL?" AHH!!!! He plays it totally cool and talks to the guy, who says he'll talk to his wife and call us back.

We get in the car, and I say, "On a scale of one to ten, how made are you?" He says "10." OUCH.

I see now that I really should not have done this.

So when the guy calls back, I just tell him that my husband didn't know I put him up and isn't ready to give him up. I mean, he was gonna come from ROY to see him. I felt so bad being an Indian-giver like that. AND I CAME THIS CLOSE TO GETTING RID OF HIM!!! DAMNIT!!!!

So now we're back to square one. Still have Titus. Trevor forgave me, because he's amazing that way, but I really don't think he'll let me put him on KSL again. But it's good to know that if we ever DO decide to get rid of him, it won't be hard to find him a good family. Am I a jerk? Please! Tell me what you think!(If you've gotten this far. This post is a novel...) What would YOU do?