Useless Talents

In junior high I remember that the kids who had physical talents got a lot of attention. I was sometimes one of them--whenever I felt self-conscious, I would pull out paper and pencil and start drawing. And then I'd make sure someone saw it and BAM--immediate acceptance. Well, to an extent. Until my inherant ability to irritate got in the way. (I've seen few 7th graders in my career that are more annoying than I was at the age--but there have been a few...)

Now I teach junior high and I see the same thing. The kids with talents for athletics, music, dance, and art get attention. Everyone praises how wonderful and talented they are. We just had auditions for the school musical, and I had a hand in casting it. At the rehearsal today, I sensed a reverence the other kids seemed to feel when around the leads--they were talented.

It's strange how those things can not only matter very little when you become an adult, but can also become a detriment. It's easy to get sucked in to the selfish world of music and drama--which requires so much time and gives nothing practical in return--only the self-satisfaction of feeling good. I suppose that must be addicting, and a part of me longs for it--standing on a stage, the world at my feet, with all in awe of my talent. But then I realized two things: I'm not that good, and I'm too practical to go that way. Basically, unless you are really lucky, physical talents don't get you jack in the long run. I'd rather be good at Math, or have a knack for making money. Yeah--I want THOSE talents...

It made me think of the physical talents I have been blessed with. I have many physical talents and I'm mediocre at all of them. Which is actually fine with me. I discovered art first--drawing in church, and on every scrap of paper I could muster. Here's a picture I drew in the 4th grade. I value this greatly, as it's the earliest drawing of mine that I have.

Drawing sustained me for years--I spent most of my youth improving my skill, finally settling on a Disney style I can't get out of, as a result of an obsession for the Little Mermaid in the 7th grade. If you knew me then, you know what I'm talking about!

Over the years as I've gotten older, drawing has become less and less important. In fact, the only time I draw at all is when I'm bored--in church or in meetings, sometimes in school assemblies. It's a way out of boredom and no more. And actually I like it that way. I had no real desires to become "an artist" not after my sister Cindy told me when I was five that "artist's starve." Stark but true, and apparently I listened. My only outlet now is occasionally working on my paper doll set--I have several that I work on. I've made paper dolls ever since I can remember, and it's something I still enjoy from time to time. One day, Afton is going to have a KILLER set.

I just scanned these in--this set has 12 different dolls and over 200 outfits! I started thet set in 1998, and I just keep making new dolls and new clothes and throwing out the old. The pink dress was actually designed by my neice Millie (6) who told me what she wanted and then I created it. She was thrilled.


Other talents? I went through a writing stage. It started in 8th grade when I went thorugh one of those periods where all my friends hated me. I was lonely so I started a book. And actually finished it two years later. Sucks, but it's finished. Then I wrote another one my senior year. And then I started a third before my mission and finished it when I got home. That one, Gifted, is actually quite good and I wish I could publish it, but I have no aspirations to be a writer, and therefore no real motivation to go through the hell that is publishing a first novel. I've written poetry here and there, and short stories. But always I knew that I just wasn't a natural--I just liked to do it for a hobby and nothing more.

Singing. Discovered this one in 9th grade. I have a good voice, once a solid voice, and was thrilled when I found I could sing. But it's proved to be a rather useless talent as well. I'm no where near good enough to be the lead in a play, and teaching has completely ruined my voice anyway. I got nodules on my vocal chords after a breif stint in Little Shop of Horrors, which I had to drop, and my voice has never really been the same since. Now I can hardly sing in church after a week of teaching my classes and ballroom. There goes that.

Which brings me to my last talent--dance. Again--not one I'm all too good at. I danced on a ballroom team in high school--more for the social life and the high of performing than for a love of the art. If I'd known I'd end up teaching it in junior high, maybe I would have bothered to learn it better. Dance is one of the most useless talents of all--there is NO future in it.

So here I am, this artsy fartsy girl with mediocre gifts--and where have they gotten me? Why do we give such praise to them, when they are impractical and so impossible to make a career out of? I'm better of with my computer knowledge, my talent for teaching and handling students--they have been far more useful to me than singing or dancing or any of the others. But I guess it's those little talents that make life interesting--that give you a little something more to offer, to spice up your life. As always, my practical nature wins out. I'm glad I was given these gifts--and I'm even MORE glad that I'm only mediocre at them. I don't want them for a career--I want them to be dessert--something I dabble in occasionally for pure fun rather than to make money.

I suppose no talent is truly USELESS, so long as we are learning from it. It's not like all those years and money spent on ballroom are wasted because I'm not on Dancing with the Stars. I learned to socialize--I changed from that obnoxous 7th grader so a slightly more tolerable 9th grader, to the amazing humble person I am today ;) But still, I see talents in my students that they don't even know they have, or don't really appreciate. They are wasting their time wishing they could sing better or dance like that girl or play football as good as so-and-so. And in ten years, it won't really matter who was the better singer. There are those rare shining exceptions who manage to make a career out of their physical talents, but the rest of us are ordinary people living ordinary lives, and the talent for just getting through it with a smile on your face is far more prized.

Anyway, I'm done now. What is with the long thoughtful posts?