Final Thoughts Before My World Changes

 I AM HAVING TWINS TOMORROW!!!!!

Here is my official final pregnancy shot. I am going in to have these babies in about 14 hours. We go in to the hospital at 4:30 a.m. and the C-section is scheduled for 6:30. I can hardly believe it. Everything has been leading up to this, and now it's finally here. And then--it will pass, and I will be on to a new phase that I haven't thought near enough about. I have focused so much on the pregnancy and getting them here safe and sound, that the actual task of taking care of two babies hasn't crossed my mind near often enough.

I had a babysitter lined up to take Afton today, but she kinda flaked on me. I'm glad. I have enjoyed my last day as a parent to one child. Afton and I have sung songs, rocked, watched a Barbie movie, and snuggled in my bed where she kept kissing me. Trevor managed to get off work early--bless that guy who was willing to cover the second half of his shift--and he's on his way home right now. We have so much to do. Get the car seats installed, make sure everything is packed, put up the pack and play. Get the beds made and just touch up the house so it looks great when we get back. I'm nesting still--I want the house to look just right before I can really feel ready to have these kids.

Yesterday my two friends, Heather Webb and Carson Barlow, came over and helped me clean--BLESS THEM. They did the things that I have a hard time doing like mopping the floor, scrubbing the tub, even detailing my car. I feel so much more ready since they were here to help me out. My sister-in-law delivered the little red and green bracelets she made for the twins. When we look at those little faces and decide which baby gets which name, we'll slip those little bracelets on their wrists to seal the deal. I have little caps for them to wear, lovingly made by my neighbor, friend, and daycare provider Brook, that they will wear home from the hospital. (the ones pictures below were actually made by my friend Heather) I finished little Scarlett's dress, as I did Ripley's a few weeks ago. Their bag is packed, Afton's bag is already at Mom's, and there's just a few more details to work out.

I keep trying to explain to Afton that her sisters are coming, but she doesn't quite get it. Though, yesterday I was changing her diaper and my neices Anna and Bethany were in the room. I said, "Bethany and Anna are sisters, Afton. You are going to have sisters too!" Then I turned to Bethany and said, "She doesn't get it, does she?" And then Afton said, "Sisters! Ripley and Scarlett!" It was so stinkin' cute. Maybe she does get it a little bit!

I don't think I really comprehend the change that is about to take place in my life. I don't think you really can. When I was pregnant with Afton I knew I would love her. I knew that I would feel a new kind of love I'd never felt before. I knew I would die for her. But it wasn't until I held her in my arms that I really understood that. And I love her so much more today then I did that day. I love her more and more all the time as she gets bigger and learns new things and says the cutest funniest things. I love everything in her that is like me, and everything in her that is like the man I love. How can I possibly love another child--two more children at once--the same way I love her? How can I possibly understand them and get to know them like I did with her, when I have two at once? But I know I will.

I make fun of Afton's stupid Barbie movies all the time, but there's a line from a song from "Barbie: Island Princess" that I keep thinking about.

If we make room for someone new
Doesn't mean that there's less for you
Only means that our circle has grown
Love knows, Love grows
Bigger than before
In your heart
There's always more

So I know that I will love these little girls as much as Afton. But I won't  understand that for a few more hours yet. I feel very blessed that I have been able to carry these babies two days past full-term--something most twin moms are not able to do. I am grateful that thus far they have been perfectly healthy. They estimated their weight yesterday as 7 lbs 10 oz for baby A and 7 lbs 12 oz for baby B. Very likely this is way off, but it still shows they are a good size and healthy and ready. They've been kicking me all day. I think they are just as ready to meet me and Trevor as we are to meet them!