Ever have your life turn completely upside down? I have a tendency to picture my future--I plan it all in very careful steps. I know, of course, that it may not happen that way. But I was not prepared for it to completely change like it has over the last few months. I had planned when school would be over, when each child would be born, when I would be able to quit and stay home. But...well, then this stuff happened:
1. I get pregnant. Yes, I allowed it to happen--I opened the door of possibility the TINIEST crack--and, being a Nielson girl, of course that was all it took.
2. Then I find out that not only am I pregnant, but I'm expecting twins. I can't even begin to describe how this has thrown my world--and my vision of my future--into a tailspin. Of COURSE I'm excited, but there are so many things to consider physically, financially, and emotionally with these little ones that I still haven't quite stopped spinning from the shock.
AND NOW....
3. The newest shock to my system: Trevor can't start nursing school until 2011. We thought he'd be starting this summer. He'll have all his prequisites finished after spring semester. But, apparently, that's not soon enough. We just found out that in order to start this summer, he'd have to have all classes finished and posted by December. We are one semester off. If the stupid program started in the FALL instead of the SUMMER, like every other program known to man, we would have been fine. Instead, we are faced with the fact that we have to wait a WHOLE YEAR before he can even START his two-year nursing program. In other words, it will be THREE YEARS before we have any level of financial security.
This news made me totally cry. I have been so stressed, trying to figure out how we can afford these twins and manage for two whole years with all the extra expense and no additional income--and now it's going to be three years. One more baby than we planned, one more year than we planned--yes, my world is definately upside down.
I love my mom. When I called to tell her my devastating news, her response was instant: "What a blessing!" she chimed. HUH? But then she pointed out that now, the first year of our twins lives won't be so stressful if Trevor isn't in school. It gives us a year together with a little more time for our little ones. We might even be able to have Trevor home two days and save on daycare, or maybe he can work another job. Whatever we decide, it does, in some ways, take off some stress. On the other hand, it pretty much gaurantees that I will never, ever be a stay-at-home mom. By the time Trevor is done, the twins will be three. What's the point, then? They'll be ready for school so soon, and Afton will be in Kindergarten. Man, that sounds so far away.
Well, that's life I guess. You can't always plan everything. But man, if you'd told me this was where my life would be four months ago I would never have believed it.
Fall Camping
3 months ago
4 comments:
Sorry Meg. That is frustrating. The part that struck me is that you think there is no point in being at home when your twins are three? Really? Two years at home with them is HUGE. It would be worth every minute. I know things look bad now, but you may be surprised at the blessings that come. I'm sure Trevor will enjoy baby time with them like he had with Afton.
Well, it's not that it isn't WORTH it as far as the twins are concerned. It's the risk of giving up my job for two years off. The chances I'll find another business teaching position remotely near my house is pretty slim. Positions like mine don't come up very often. Well, we'll see. Maybe I can go part time?
I know you are probably SO sick of hearing this, but it will all work out. Just one of those things that require ALOT of faith! Good luck, you can call if you ever need too!
The good news is that you have a HUGE support system- including a sister who has lived through the twin thing (and is STILL living through it!). How many Moms of twins get to share the experience with a sister? Not very many!
I know it isn't your 'plan' but just as quickly as your apple cart has been upset, it can be righted- with something totally out of the blue. You just never know! I certainly never planned to give up my home and move away. And yet look how it all turned out in the end? It was that very thing that made it possible for me to stay at home once we got the twins.
Opportunity, like disaster, can literally appear out of thin air if you simply train yourself to see it. I am so excited to have just the FUN parts of twins again! WOOT!
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