Stay At Home vs. Working Moms

Moms tend to fall into one of two categories: Working Mom and Stay At Home Mom. I think that sometimes, each category envies the other, and sometimes, they feel sorry for the other. I've heard complaints from SAHM's that WM's don't respect their time. "Would you pick up Billy for me and keep in for two hours until I get home? Again? Thanks!" Because, if you are a SAHM, you obviously having nothing better to do, right? And then there's the other side--"Oh, it must be SO HARD to be away from your kids. I could never do it." And you're like--"yeah, because I'm a crappy mom who doesn't really love her kids."

Anyway, that's really not what this post is about, and I don't want to offend anyone. You see, I'm a hybrid of these two. Many women are--like women who work part-time. As a teacher, I get nine months of working mom, and 3 months stay at home mom. Last summer I was with my brand new baby. Trevor was still unemployed, so I had his help. We were together constantly. So somehow--that doesn't really count. It didn't quite prepare me for the adjustment I am going through right now.

You know what? Going to work is EASIER. That's my conclusion. I guess it helps that I really love my job and feel fulfilled and appreciated (most of the time.) But I'll tell you what--these last few weeks have taught me that a day at home makes me ten times more tired than a day at work. And I only have one kid! The idea of doubling this is a bit scary! Today I worked out and then cleaned like a madwoman. Afton was constantly underfoot, or she was off and silent (even worse) and when I'd find her, all my hard work was completely gone as I observed the mess she made. I am walking like an old woman. My feet are so sore and my calves burn. (Not sure why--I didn't even work my legs today! Do pushups make your legs hurt? Hmmmm...)

But I love that I get to experience both worlds. I hope that can help me have appreciation for both worlds--that I can respect my neighbors time and energy, and know that they are all working hard--whether they work or not. I look at my friend Brook, who watches Afton during the school year. This woman has five children. She is so busy all day long. I can't even begin to imagine the cooking and cleaning it takes to keep up with a husband and five children! And yet, she's managed to take the time to teach her children--to spend time with them and teach them well. She has incredible kids. She works just as hard--harder--than any working mom I know.

But does that mean that, if I work, I can't have great kids like that? I think of my sister-in-law Andrea. She works at a dental office--she's a full time working mom. And she has two of the most fantastic girls. Actually--I can't fairly praise Andrea and not praise my other sister-in-law Becky. She works full time too--and her kids are awesome. These women have both learned to balance their careers with raising their kids. They know what's important--when they come home, work stays at work. And maybe they are just a little more grateful for the time they get to spend with them.

One of the best things about being the youngest in my family--and Trevor being the youngest in his, is that we have so many great examples to follow. Each of my sisters has some pretty amazing parenting skills that I can observe and learn from. Up until now, parenting has pretty much been keeping Afton alive and healthy. Now as she gets older, we have to do more. We have to begin to really TEACH her--everything from manners to her colors, to reading, to the gospel. It's overwhelming. And thank goodness for the amazing women in my life who have shown me that it doesn't matter whether you are working or stay at home--it's the quality of time you spend with your kids that make them into amazing people. Thank you!