Passing of a Patriarch

So I've taken three days off work this week so that I could attend the funeral of Trevor's Grandpa Rees. He was an incredible man. Trevor comes from such an amazing family of strong, yet gentle and loving men. I didn't know Spencer very well, but he was always kind to me, and I know how much Trevor idolizes him. I know that he was a wonderful father--because he taught Trevor's dad, Stan, to be a wonderful father. And Trevor and his brother David are both following the tradition. It makes me hope fervently for a son of my own, so the tradition can pass on. It's a powerful legacy that Trevor comes from. We looked up his Grandma Violoa, Spencer's mother, one time on the church database. That line has been in the United States since the 1600's! I'm only a 4th generation here in the U.S., it's amazing to me that Trevor's family has been here so long.

It was a sad funeral. I have been to funerals before, but never one quite like this. Usually at the funerals of older people (Spencer was 89) there's a sort of "it's for the best" feeling, and you hear a lot of "He's in a better place," and "he was ready to go." Not the case for Spencer. Although his health was failing, no one thought he'd go so soon. He was so loved by his family, and clearly had a very personal relationship--not just with his children, but with each and every grand child. Although my four grandparents were (are) good people and they loved me, I don't think I had a relationship like that with them. I don't have a lot of one-on-one personal memories. I don't want to sound ungrateful, though. I spent time with them and enjoyed visiting them over the years, and I know that they knew me and loved me.

But the love this family had for him was so tangible. I didn't cry because I missed him--I didn't know him well enough for that. I cried because everyone ELSE was missing him so much. How could I not sob when I saw how heart-broken Spencer's wife of 65 years, Luzenia, was when she saw them close the casket? When she would just quietly sob suddenly, when her shoulders went slack as if she remembered anew that he was gone. Its the day every woman dreads--the day she is left alone. My heart just aches for poor Luzenia, and yet how lucky she was to have such an amazing husband, and to have him for so long!

Anyway, I wanted to dedicate a post to the man who made it possible for me to be happily married to the man of my dreams. His legacy is a part of Trevor--without him, Trevor wouldn't exist, and he wouldn't have the compassion, strength, and love that he is so blessed with. Spencer taught those lessons by the way he lived, and Stan learned them from him, and Trevor learned from both of them. Thank you Spencer. You are missed.