It's 7:30 a.m. and I'm sitting in my classroom. I locked my door behind me and kept the lights off. The idea is that I can sit in here for as long as possible without having to see anyone. Especially any other teachers. Because I know, I KNOW, that if one more person asks me "when's that baby comin?" I'm going to say something very rude that they don't deserve.
Cause guess what? I don't freakin' know! Ok! It's very annoying when you get so frustrated and everyone acts like it so darn adorable and cute that you are frustrated, and so CONDESCENDING about it. I know everyone means well. But I am so depressed I just don't want to be nice today. I already feel bad for my students.
So yes, Afton is due today. But she doesn't seem all the interested being my little girl right now. The conditions are perfect--full moon, I had a membrane sweep yesterday, I'm dilated to a 2 (not great but an improvement from last week) and 30% effaced. Trevor did this reflexology massage on my ankles that is said to work wonders putting you into labor. And she's DUE. She's DONE. And there's no way I miscalculated my due date here. Time's UP girl! But no, last night I went to bed just hoping I wouldn't have to get up in the morning and come to work AGAIN, with everyone asking me "when, when when" but I am not so lucky as that. And believe me, when you have 200 students and a faculty of 60, there's a LOT of people to ask you taht question. And worse still, my doctor has no plans to induce me for a LONG time. I'll see him on Monday, and THEN he'll schedule and inducement, so it will probably be over a week from now.
I'm not exactly sure why I'm so upset. She's not even LATE yet, and women go late all the time. Yet here I am just trying to not to cry and to keep it together. I am not overly uncomfortable as some women seem to be at this point. I'm fine. PERFECTLY FINE, DAMNIT!!!! What I wouldn't give for some PAIN right now. Sheesh! I guess I'm just eager to start the next phase, to finally be able to send out that text/phone call that will shut everyone up, to finally say, "here she is!" To know that she's alive and safe and in my arms and that I'm not going to lose her. Man, I'm going to be a mess when 1st period starts in fifteen mintues...I better get it together...
So to all my friends and family who may read this, know that I know you are thinking of me and wanting this baby to come, too. I know you all mean well. I know you love me and you love Afton and you are almost as eager to meet her as I am. And I appreciate your phone calls and texts and your interest in my life SO much. I'm just having a hard time waiting, too.
Fall Camping
3 months ago
6 comments:
A due date can be a cruel thing. Even though you 'know' it's only an estimated date, you can't help but 'expect' it to be the end date. so when it comes and then goes and you are big, miserable, & done with the waiting and ready to move on - it's horrible and frustrating!!!!
I feel for you and am thinking of you!
You're pregnant - cry a little and blame it on the hormones :)
I am so sorry that it is so hard. Both my kids were late, so I am feeling your pain! I agree with Sharie who cares if you cry, in fact you probably wouldn't even have to explain everyone would just understand. I hope that she comes soon!
I'm sad too. I AM thinking about you and wishing that baby will come. I'm sorry. :o(
MEg--your water us gonna break tonight while you are sleeping--so get some towels. Thats what happened to me! I thought I was wetting myself, but it just kept on comin! I feel your frustration. Well, I can't wait for that call. As the saying goes....If you were sex ...hmmm??...thats what got us in this mess! Good luck!
I feel your pain. Austin didn't show up on his due date either. The Dr. was going to induce me a week after but Austin came on his own a couple of days before then.
Good luck! And I hope she gets here soon.
Post a Comment