Two Little Girls + Diaper Cream = TROUBLE.

I went to pick up my little girl today at Grandma Rees's, and found there was QUITE a story. An "incident" as Karen called it. Afton and her cousin Madison, 16 months her senior, apparently had a few unsupervised moments with a brand new tin of Penaten, a diaper cream that Karen uses.

The results, of course, were both disastrous and hilarious. My father-in-law got home just after it happened and, thankfully, managed to grab a camera between burst of laughter. Unfortunately, Afton's face had already been mostly wiped off, though Karen says it looked pretty much like Madison's. It was EVERWHERE. In her hair, her eyes, even her nostrils!

Karen was swabbing it out of her nose, her eyes, and it was all over! She gave them both baths and had to wash Afton's hair three times! And it's STILL a little greasy! Those little stinkers!

I think it's hilarous! And SO glad it didn't happen during MY watch!



Not Cool Anymore

You know what? I'm not cool anymore.

I am totally lame. I'm just a mean, tired, OLD junior high teacher. I'm the one who yells at them in the hallway for swearing. I'm the one that doesn't dress up for Halloween, and won't join in the fun at school dances. When did this happen to me?

As a first year teacher, I was so friggin' awesome. I had so much joy and love for what I did--I still do, but just not in the same way. Man, the stuff I did when I was new at this. I just played with the kids. Like when I'd pull out my big red plastic bat and have kids pitch wads of paper at me so I could hit it around the room. Or the time I snuck a picture of Mr. Barton, then Photoshopped him (with students watching) to look all fat, then printed 40 copies and let the kids make paper airplanes out of it. Then we chucked them in his room. I was funny. I'd read the announcements in accents. My whole class stuffed into my back room to hide from another teacher. We turned all Barton's desks upside down while he was at lunch, then he pennied my door and we couldn't open it. Every period was stand up commedian time, and I loved it.

I don't do any of that anymore. I could, I know, but I don't really feel like it. On Thursday I had an Auction with my CTE Intro kids, and somehow I was just in this hyper mood. I was cracking jokes right and left. And they all laughed their heads off and had no idea who this new teacher was. Am I really that boring? Have I lost something here? I mean, how long can you be the funny cool teacher? Isn't there a point where you are just too old to pull it off?

I usually love Halloween at school, though the other teachers hate it. I dress up. I join the kids dancing. Usually I have my ballroom kids there and I dance a couple of swings. Trevor used to come too, both of us in costume. But today? Today was awful. The kids were obnoxious. I didn't dress up. I don't do ballroom anymore, so there were no boys trained to dance. (And, might I add, that when I DID do ballroom, kids actually danced at the dances. Once a few of my kids started, the other kids would realize it's ok, and they'd dance too. Today? NO ONE DANCED)

I walked around and yelled at kids. Well, no mostly I took pictures. But then when this group of about 10 hoochies started grinding with each other, I had to become the "bad guy" and break it up, then cart them off to the principal's office when they kept doing it. Really, it was quite disgusting. I've never seen girls behave so badly at a dance. They were all dressed so slutty--somehow their more modest costumes from 1st period became shorter and lower and by the end of the day. They flaunted everything they had--and didn't have--not at the guys--at each other. It was amazing to see these girls just totally go after each other. Unbelievable. Has it been this way always, and I never noticed because I was having fun and playing? Is it the mean boring old teacher in me that has me noticing this behavior and yelling all day to stop it? Or...maybe this 9th grade class is just plain nasty?

At any rate, I feel bad that I am taking my job for granted. I know that if the day ever comes that I quit and stay home, I will miss the classroom terribly. I love what I do. I really do. I just think that as you get older, the way you do it changes. Am I wrong? Oh well. Who cares. It's the weekend. Job? What job?

Picture Tour of Afton Darla Rees

Ok, ok! I'm FINALLY updating my blog! I haven't updated in forever--I just haven't been able to think of anything to write about! Nothing's really ticked me off (that I can write about on a public blog, anyway) and I haven't been thinking deeply about anything (that I want to share on a public blog, anyway) and mega-happy "my-life-is-awesome" posts can be SO annoying. But---well, my life is awesome! So, here's a little video tour of the last month:

September 20, 2010

Afton was sick in September. Seemed to last forever. It's amazing, though, how quickly you forget the particulars after the fact. Anyway, I miss those days when I had a tiny baby who would just sleep on my chest. I thought those days were over until I had another baby. Poor Afton was so sick and slept so much, she'd sleep anywhere!

She fell asleep while DeLayna was holding her. She loves her Del.

October 1, 2010

Sometimes, Afton can get a little clingy. Especially on Daddy. On this Sunday morning, she refused to leave him alone. He had to eat and hold her at the same time. It was so cute.

  October 8, 2010

Afton and I hang out outside a lot--or, as she says, 'side.

This month she's started talking a lot--I mean, she's always talking, but now I can actually understand some of her words! Today I heard her say "Tarzan" for the first time (our cat) and then "I love you!" which was more like "Ah Juh Joo!" It was SO cute. Trevor and I had tears in our eyes, hearing her say that for the first time! Anyway, here she is outside and, as always, obsessed with the water tap.

October 9, 2010

I was upstairs getting something, and I got distracted. Afton was downstairs. I heard her rumaging around. I looked over the railing to check on her, but although I could hear her, I couldn't see her anywhere. I went downstairs, and found her here---in the entertainment center under the stairs. She's obsessed with the movie cases over there, so I guess she needed a closer look.

October 10, 2010

Getting Afton to look directly at the camera and smile is pretty much impossible. On this day, she looked SO cute so I did a little photoshoot of her playing in the front yard. And I got so many good ones!

October 14, 2010

You know, it's getting to the point where I'm constantly grabbing the camera to get a picture of her doing her newest strange thing before I miss the moment. She's just

 such a busy little thing! I can't keep track of her--she's always into something new!

October 18, 2010

I watched Dancing with the Stars on Monday. Afton loves Dancing with the Stars. She dances...with the stars. They dance, and so does she. She's awesome. Daddy came and sat with her, and then the TV held no charms for her. Daddy was near. That's all she cared about. So she gave him a kiss.






October 21, 2010

Today Afton was really on it. She got into everything! I let her--if she's occupied and it's easily cleaned up afterwards, what's the harm? First she got into the tupperware--I'm sure I'm not the only mother who has a kid in the tupperware. I have vague memories myself of playing in the tupperware drawer. It was an amazing, interesting place. But since Afton has discovered it, it seems we can never find matching lids anymore.

Yeah, it was a mess but like I said, easy to clean up. After that, I started making dinner. She got into the tin can cubbord again. She loves taking the cans out and dumping them on the floor. It keeps her occupied. I was just glad she wasn't grabbing my legs and whinning. So I let her go for it. Then I heard that sound--that unmistakeable sound of noodles hitting pergo. It is a sound I have heard before! I looked over and sure enough, she'd found an open bag of spaghetti noodles. Did I get mad? No. I grabbed my camera. And then let her continue to play in it for 10 minutes while I finished dinner. I mean, the noodles are gone anyway, she might as well enjoy them, right?

Sorry this post is pretty much ALL about Afton. But I have no pictures of anything else, really. Sorry. Though i DO have pictures of the shield Trevor's been working on for Halloween--that will be a post for another day. It's pretty awesome.

So yeah, that's the last month for me! I sure got a cute baby!

What I Like About YOU!

Ok. Afton was SO funny yesterday. We got a lot of video of it, and I've been thinking its about time to put a video of her on my blog again!

I'm not sure how I found time to do this today while teaching 7 periods--must be my supreme multitasking skills. And I'm not being sarcastic here--they really ARE supreme. Enjoy!

(I apologize in advance for how annoying my voice and comments are on this video. I'm SURE I don't really sound like that in real life.)

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My New Calling - Primary Chorister

WARNING: Unlike most of my posts, this is a very CHURCHY post. Be warned. If you are not a member of the LDS church or are not very active, this post and it's meaning may be a complete mystery to you. I apologize for being exclusive on this but...sorry. It's what's on my mind today.

I always thought that my IDEAL calling in the church would be Mia Maid advisor. But then I became a junior high teacher and I realized that mia maids are like--in 8TH GRADE. YUCK. Well, I STILL think that would be a pretty cool calling, but I'm also pretty sure I'll never serve in Young Women's. Young Women's advisors usually follow a certain pattern:

1. Skinny

2. Blonde
3. Super Spiritual

4. Kissed less than 4 guys

5. NEVER served a mission themselves
6. Married to a return missionary
7. Self-sacrificing
8. Sweet as sugar

9. Married by age 21

10. Have beautiful well-behaved children

(This, by the way, is also my definition of SYT, pronounced "Sit". SYT stands for Sweet Young Thing. There's nothing wrong with SYT's, except that they tend to marry all the RM's really fast and leave nothing for the sister missionaries to date when they get home.)

Ok, I know, this is a total stereotype. There are many different types of women serving in the young women's. Some aren't married, some are fat, and a very few might even be return missionaries. But in my experience, if you are most of these things, your chances of getting called are pretty darn good. Seeing as I only fit in about...well, TWO of these (married a return missionary and blonde. Afton is beautiful but not always well behaved :) I'm pretty sure I won't be seeing the inside of a young women's room any time soon. I'm too blunt. I'd tell it like it is. I'd even admit to them that...shhh...kissing is fun. I know--we try to keep this fact from them but I'm pretty sure they already know.

Ok. I'm going off on a tangent here. This post is NOT about the ideal calling I always wanted, but the one I just got. Primary Chorister. I think this is a calling you can only love or hate. It's one or the other. It requires a lot of preparation to be good at it, and there are a few requirements you want to have--like the ability to sing and lead music. Sometimes, this requirement is overlooked. I've actually always wanted to try this calling. I remember sitting in Primary as a teacher, watching our poor chorister trying so hard, but she just didn't seem to know what to do. She really did try her best. But oh--oh I wanted to run up there and just TAKE OVER! I knew how I would do it! I was full of ideas! I was frustrated to just sit there and grit my teeth and sing.

Well, I've been chorister for two weeks now. And guess what? IT IS THE BEST CALLING IN THE CHURCH!!! Move over Mia Maid Advisor. You've been replaced. I absolutely love this calling. Let me count the ways:

• I get to be creative! I get to make stuff and glue and paste and print and glue some more. It's awesome. I don't get to do that much as a jr. high teacher. Teenagers don't care. But these kids love it. Last week I made boxes and put songs in them. When I called on someone to pick a box, they got to KEEP the box. It was mayhem. They all wanted them. I never heard kids sing so well. You just don't get that kind of enthusiasm and excitment from older kids.
• It's not that hard. I mean, sharing time has to be all meaningful. This is just coming up with fun ways to sing. The majority of the time, the kids are singing. That's easy. I love to come up with new ways to make singing fun!
• These kids CRACK ME UP. Seriously, last week we were DYING of laughter in senior primary. I made this Primary Song Wheel, and this kid spun it and got "Sing Slowly." So I had to pick a song to sing slow and I picked "Scripture Power" which is TOTALLY not a slow song. IT WAS HILARIOUS. Even the leaders were laughing.
• I get to teach my baby how to sing! For the last ten minutes I go into nursery, and there is Afton being all cute, and I get to teach her and all these other little ones a song! They totally don't sing, but they are pretty darn cute. I never thought I'd enjoy anything nursery related but it really is so fun.
• I get to have fun at church. Seriously--FUN. I love standing up in front of crowd. I love to make people laugh. And we just have so much fun together.

I don't know how long I'll feel this way--I'm sure I'll be totally burned out in a year. But right now I'm happy as a clam, and actually SAD that it's conference next week and I don't get to do my calling. So pathetic I know. But hooray! It's fun! Thanks Heavenly Father. You got this one dead on.

Blogging with Jeykll & Hyde

When I was a missionary for my church, I served in South Africa. It was a great mission. But, of course, it was hard, too. It was 2000-2001, and at the time, emails were not allowed. My mail from home was a long time coming and outdated when it got there. I devoured it all the same.

When I left for my mission, my sister gave me a really great idea. I bought a three-ring journal at the distribution store, along with several packets of three-ring journal paper. I lef the journat home, but took the paper with me. All my letters home were written on that journal paper. After my parents finished reading the letter, they would put it in the journal. I came home 18 months later with a journal all ready for me and easy to read--all my letters home. It really was a brilliant idea, and I've spread it on to other missionaries going out.

But it did have one strange side effect. It was the birth of what I called the "Jekyll & Hyde journals." When I was frustrated or having a difficult time, I didn't usually write about it in detail in my letters home. What was the point of worrying my family with issues that would be long over after I read them? My letters home were full of happy times, success stories, bearing my testimony and encouraging words. These things were all true, I wasn't lying. And I would tell them if I was struggling--just not in any detail. This journal of letters became my Jeykll journal. All the good stuff. All the happiness and goodness of serving a mission.

I kept another journal on my mission. Up until this point in my life, I was an avid journal writer. I was actually quite obnoxious about it. But once on mission, I was so busy I didn't have much time to write. So I only wrote when I needed to get my feelings out--something I have done since I started writing in my journal in the 3rd grade. When I'm upset or need to sort out how I feel, I write it down. And thus, my Hyde journal was born. It helped at the time, but that journal isn't so fun to read now.

If you were to read one of the other of these journals, it wouldn't give you a very accurate depiction of what my mission was like. In one, you'd think it was a piece of cake and I had no problems. In the other, you'd think I hated every second of it. But when read together, the real shape of my 18 months down there become more clear.

I don't write in my journal much anymore. I have a file that I update every few weeks with the goings-on of my life. Once married, I found that I had precious little to write about. My feelings are generally on an even keel and I don't need to "write it out" all that often.

And then: Enter the blog.

Which journal is this blog? Is it my Jekyll or my Hyde? I have recently been informed by a long-time friend that my blog is really negative. This hurt to hear. I was actually quite upset about it. I didn't think I was all that negative. I looked over my last posts--and sure, some of them were perhaps "negative" but more, they were me getting out my feelings. Writing it out. Sorting how I feel. And perhaps this isn't something I should do in a public place. Obviously it's not understood. I think that's one of my problems--I always assume people just understand me and know how I meant to say things. But they don't. It gets me into trouble.

So, to all you readers out there, if my blog has seemed negative to you--I apologize. I hope I have not given the impression that I am a negative person, or that my life is not a happy one. I guess I don't see much reason to have some annoying Jeykll blog--to post constantly about how great my life and my husband and my child are--posts like that are kind of braggy and annoying. But--I DO have a great life. And a great husband. And a great child. I AM happy. In fact, the last few days I've had moments where I catch myself grinning in happiness for no particular reason.

But for me, writing is a way of thinking. It helps me think. It helps me understand myself. And I guess that means that sometimes, this blog will be a little bit Hyde. 'Cause sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it's not all rosy. And it's nice to share it with friends and realize that sometimes, they feel that way too. I guess that's why I blog. Why do YOU blog?

Have I Deteriorated?

I often tell guys that when you marry a hot girl who is under 21, you really have no idea what you are getting. They, after all, haven't really gotten their "real" body yet. You have no idea if they are going to get fat or stop caring about their appearance. Better, I tell them, to marry a girl in her mid to late twenties, who has already done her "deteriorating" and become pretty much what she's going to look like for the rest of her life. Then you have a better idea. Not just looks, of course--older girls also have SOME INKLING of who the crap they are and what they want in life.


I thought this was pretty sound logic. But...I was wrong. I did not take into account what marriage and child-bearing can do to you. It's amazing how all the superficial things men look for in a wife are exactly what she gives up once she marries him. She gives up her figure to have a baby. And then she has a hard time caring what she looks like as her priorities totally shift.


Of course, there are those women who hold on to everything and manage to stay skinny and beautiful.


Let's not discuss those women. Because we hate them.


I got married when I was 27. Surely--SURELY--I had already done my "deteriorating" and Trevor was sure what he was getting. Granted, I was no size 8 anymore. He knew when he married me that I'd never be skinny. And that's a comfort. But poor Trevor. When I met him, I had just lost 30 pounds. I looked the best I'd looked since I was 20. I TOTALLY fooled him. In fact, we were discussing this the other day. I said "Man, we were so much hotter when we got married," (Trevor has put on a few too!) "we really fooled eachother," I added.


Trevor said, "Yeah. We really let the fat out of the bag."


When I lost all that weight, I was just getting into Photoshop. Obsessed with my newfound weight-loss, I took a lot of photos of myself. Then I'd pull them into Photoshop and play with all the features. It's a practice that eventually led me to digital scrapbooking. Here are some of the photos of me from back then--about 2005, 2006:


Ok, maybe they are a little--arrogant. But I learned so much about photography! The one on the upper right was my profile on an LDS dating site. I had to remove it because when I met guys I could tell they were disappointed that I wasn't that cute. Oh, the things Photoshop can do...


Tonight I pulled out the camera again. Trevor wasn't sure what I was laughing at all by myself in the computer room...


So here's my question to you all out there--and be honest. I know it might be hard to tell me to my face but...



Have I deteriorated?