Meg's Got A Spot

My Babies are Seven Months!

2012-02-16T17:03:00.001-08:00

I know, I know. I haven't updated in forever. It's probably not going to change. My life is insane 98.9% of the time! But I did manage to put together a cute little film strip of the twins that I took on their 7th month anniversary!

Ripley loves to sit, and can do so for quite a long time, happy as a clam. Scarlett refuses to do anything of the kind. Although, I did stand her up against furniture and she was all about it. And Ripley would NOT do it. So it makes me wonder if Scarlett will walk first!

They love solids. I got a Baby Bullet for Christmas and it's the best thing EVER. I just really like making their food and it saves me a lot of money. And the food is so much better. The other day I made them peach/apple, and I wanted to eat it myself!

I love them at this age--able to entertain themselves, but also immobile. Neither of them ever seem to flip over the other direction once they are on their bellies, so no rolling yet. Maybe they'll be like Afton and never roll over at all!

Well, seriously, that's all the time I have. I DID post on my Realscrappy blog with pictures of my new 2011 Yearbook that I just got in the mail, so feel free to check it out if you haven't already!

Christmas Heaven and Potty Training Hell

2012-01-03T20:57:00.000-08:00

We had a fabulous holiday. I loved Christmas this year. Afton was a total blast. She totally got it, and she is seriously the funniest thing! I got a lot of really great stuff--surprisingly, I am totally LOVING my Nook, which I didn't expect. It's just so darn convenient! Trevor always does such a great job with my Christmases! Here are a few photos from our fun holiday!

The chaos at our annual Nielson Family Party.

Afton and Tyson bouncing on their "horsies" that my Mom gave them. Afton calls hers "Wilford."

Mom ~~made~~ had the grandkids all do a little act to "Rudoph the Red Nosed Reigndeer. Though why Rudoph's nose was in the middle of his forehead is a mystery to me...As you could predict, Afton LOVED performing for her family--probably more than any of the other grandkids!

I had to include this one for those of you out there who remember my nephew Sam but haven't seen him in a while. Yeah, he's HUGE. Only 14 and over 6 feet tall! Certainly didn't get it from the Nielson side of the family!

My awesome sister Jen playing with Scarlett at Mom's party. I actually rarely held them at that party...

Our tree on Christmas Eve, after Santa came to visit.

Afton on Christmas morning in her Fairy gear, and playing with the microphone I got her. She loves it! Only...she tries to eat it more than sing into it...

Trevor's awesome grandmother, Luzenia, and his Dad, Stan. The babies got a lot of attention Christmas afteroon at Trevor's parents house!

I surprised Trevor with a new Lord of the Rings sword--this one is the Sword of Isildur.

Afton got some "Bitty Babies" from American Girl for Christmas. We HAD to get her her own set of twins! One that looks like Scarlett and one that looks like Ripley! Only, we named them Rose and Lily.

You know it's a successful Christmas when you get BOTH your mothers crying. My mom cried when she got the book I made her that had notes from all her Grandkids and her kids. It was called "I Love You Because..." And then Karen cried because Stan, with Trevor's help, got her wedding rings re-made--her ring was stolen in Hawaii when Trevor was a little boy. She still had the band, but not the diamond ring. So Trevor picked the diamond and had his friend Ryan re-create both the ring and the band.

But, although Christmas was just heaven, the week following was pretty much Hell. I am back at school today and TOTALLY ok with it. And that is because, starting December 26th, our campaign to potty train Afton began. It was the only time I had that I KNEW I would have a full week with her to really teach her to get it. Otherwise I'd have to wait until Spring Break. My other goal was to FINALLY get the twins to eat solids. They just always spit it out. It's taken them forever to learn something that Afton picked up after only a few tries!
And now, a week and a half later, I have a potty-trained kid and twins eating solids. And I am EXHAUSTED. A classroom full of 7th graders is a total piece of cake by comparison. But today was a big day because it's the first day that Afton went the whole day without an accident. I'm so proud of her! She's still in pull-ups at night, but she's getting through her naps, and most of the time she gets on the potty without our urging.
One thing that is hard about potty training is that EVERYONE has an opinion. On one hand, you want to ask for advice--your friends and family have done it themselves for their own children, and what better way to figure out how to do it than to ask those who have done it before? But the opinons on "the right way" are so diverse, and then of course every kid is different.

I decided to follow the advice of my mother-in-law on this. She purchased in ebook about 3-day potty training that she used to potty train my neice Madison. Totally worked. The problem I am have is that you need 3 days straight with no distractions--a tall order when I work full time and the kids go to FOUR different people for daycare. So I knew I had to do it over the break. Then Trevor would be home to help me. Because we had so many distractions, it took longer than three days--but she got better at it every day!
This is what bothers me most about potty-training advice. I'm so tired of people saying, "Just wait till she's "ready."

What does that really MEAN?

I am sure that if I wait and wait and wait, one day she'll be old enough and prepared to just choose to be potty trained and it will be done in a day. And I'm sure if it worked that way, she'd have far less accidents and it would be a lot easier for me. My sister's little girl did that before she was 18 months old. My other sister's little girl(s) did that at the age of 4. Well, I'm not waiting until Afton is 4!! I really don't think that "ready" means that they completely figure it out on their own without me having to teach her anything. I suppose I could wait until my twins are "ready" to eat solids when they are asking for it. But...no. I need to teach them how to eat solids, just like I need to teach Afton to use the potty. And if I choose to teach her, rather than waiting for her to teach herself, then I need to be prepared to have a hellish week, a few accidents, and constant worry that she's about to have one. Is it worth it? Heck yes. I spend approximately $40 a month on Afton's diapers. Add wipes, and that's about $500 a year. I'm just poor enough that I'd much rather use that money for something else. So yes, its worth it. Plus--only two bums to change now instead of three.

Afton is ready, in my book. She's intersted in potty training. Seems to understand the concept. She's watched her cousins and friends use it. She is physically capable of pulling down her pants and getting on the potty by herself. And she can certainly communicate with me when she needs to go. What else is there?

Thus began our long week. I almost gave up the first day, I was so frustrated. But I kept on--I would NOT let the first obstacle be my last. So we worked on it, and each day she got better. She is finally getting through her naps without an accident, and she is so proud of herself when she does it right! Stickers are like the greatest invention ever. She'll do practically anything for a sticker.

But I'll tell you what. I am so freaking sick of poop!

Tomorrow she will go back to daycare. I hope she does well. I hope we don't have to start all over once her schedule changes.

Well, there you go! Christmas Heaven and Potty Training Hell!

Afton the Performer

2011-12-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

I love my little girl Afton. She is seriously such a little joy to me. It's so fun to watch her go through each stage, and she is growing up so fast! I guess that is what the oldest child gets--they are the first to do everything.

Afton has no fear. She loves talking to complete strangers. I love how she is young enough to not be afraid of anything. She doesn't care if the stranger she talks to is in a wheelchair or handicapped, if they are old or another race. She loves everyone. Though sometimes it scares me that she isn't afraid of strangers. How to teach her to be careful, but not lose that love she has for everyone?

She's just such an outgoing little thing. She loves music. Even in the womb, she would move a lot when music--particularly classical--was being played. This was not a phenomenon I experienced with the twins, though Ripley does seem to calm down quicker when you sing to her. When Afton hears music, she just has to dance! And she likes to sing along, even if she doesn't know the words. She sort of sings the last sound of each word as if she knows it. So cute.

So here's my new Afton story. On Saturday morning our ward had our ward Christmas breakfast. I almost didn't go because we were so tired and had three parties that day. But I love breakfast and I knew Afton would love. I couldn't guilt Trevor into it, however, so he stayed in bed while I packed up all three kids and went to the stake center.

At the breakfast, we sat at the end of one of the tables so I could get out easily and manage the twins. They had scheduled the West Jordan Madrigals to be there to perform, and they performed on the back half of the cultural hall, so we had front row seats. Afton was glued. She absolutely loved it. She somehow knew not to get out of her seat or go run around--she watched avidly, clapping heartily after each number, and sometimes, grasping the back of her chair while she shook her little booty. She just loved it!

The performance was excellent. When it finished, they left, and I resumed a conversation with the person next to me as I bounced both babies on my knees. Then someone said something--I looked up, and there was Afton. She was standing in the middle of the stage where the performers had just been, grinning ear to ear. And then--then she started to dance. She was totally into it. And because only seconds had passed since the performance ended, everyone was watching her and clapping. She loved it. There was my kid, performing in front of some 100 people, not remotely nervous!

By total chance, I had our flip camera in the pocket of my coat, from the night before when we went to the Festival of the Trees.(Where, by the way, she was WAY more interested in watching the performing group than looking at the trees!) So I managed to get a little of her performance on tape. But it totally does not capture fully how freaking funny it was. I love how she just grins when she's the center of attention. Remember her 2nd birthday when we started to sing and she started to grin ear to ear when she realized it was all for her? Yup. That's my girl. I wonder where she gets it?

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

Excuse the Mess, We're Making Memories

2011-11-30T09:08:00.000-08:00

I saw this sign on Pinterest:

I've thought about it a lot. It's an idea that's been in my head for some time now--the idea that while I'm just keeping my head above water and trying to get through each day, paying bills, making dinner, making sure the house isn't a total wreck--in the meantime, my children are making memories. A normal day for me can be a turning point or an oft-repeated story for them when they get older.

Example:

ME: I'm in the playhouse one afternoon, sitting at the top of the slide, preparing to go down. Then, I notice at the bottom of the slide, SOMETHING is there. It looks like a snake. What if it's a snake??? Yes, it does look remarkably like a piece of jump rope or something...but WHAT IF IT'S A SNAKE??? What if I slide down and it gets me? This is not a chance I can take. The results would be too horrible. I need to be SURE it's not a snake. I sit there. I think. And then, I remember that there is one person whose always on my side and will make sure I'm ok and that the snake doesn't get me. "MOM!!!" I scream. No answer. Mom is inside and probably can't hear me. "MOM!!!!" I yell again. And again. For quite some time. Suddenly Mom is there. I tearfully and disjointedly explain that there's a snake at the bottom of the slide. Mom reaches up and picks me up from the slide and carries me, crying, into the house. As I pass the slide I get a better look at the snake. It is only a piece of jumprope. I'm sure glad Mommy rescued me anyway.

This is how I remember it. I'm sure my mother, on the other hand, has totally forgotten this incidence. Now that I'm a mom, I think I can imagine how her side of the story went.

MOM: Crap. I've got to get these dishes washed before the kids come home from school. Oh, and I've got to switch the laundry over. Where did I put that other glove I found? Was that Megan crying? Huh. Oh, there it is. I'll put it up here in the closet. Now for that laundry. Wait--was that Megan crying? I guess I'd better go look. She's in the backyard by herself. Man, I've only got five minutes and they'll all be home and wanting a snack. Oh yes, there she is. What in the world is she crying about? "Are you ok honey? A snake? That's not a snake. Come inside." Now what can I make them for lunch?

To my mother, this was just a normal incidence on a normal day. To me, it became a memory I still carry with me thirty years later. Why do I remember it? Why is this particular memory still there? Is it because I learned that Mommy will always save me? That I shouldn't be afraid? That some things appear worse than they really are? I don't know. But that day, Mom was doing the dishes, and I was making a memory.

And now I am the mom, and I wonder what is happening each day that, for me, will be insignificant and forgotten, and for them will be something they remember forever?

I remember going up to Oregon to visit family as a child--it was a magical place. We'd spend hours chasing barn cats, wandering the farm, playing in the irrigation ditch. Now, I go up as the adult. And I just sit and visit with everyone and thoroughly enjoy myself, not really paying attention to what all the noisy kids are up to--as long as they aren't crying or bleeding, I'm good. I don't really realize that they are off--having adventures, creating memories they will always cherish, while my conversations with relatives, while enjoyable, will likely be forgotten forever.

Some people spend their entire lives trying to "get over" their childhood. But I was one of the lucky ones that had a wonderful childhood. I grew up in a loving home and was taken care of and loved. I remember my childhood as magical. Can I really make my children's childhood as magical as mine? Can I make my home the comfortable, loving, friendly place that my own home was, growing up? Or is this a magic I even create? Don't children create the magic themselves?

We were watching slides at my parent's house the other day. One of my sisters noted the clock that was in the background of one of the slides--it was the clock that hung in our kitchen for most of my childhood. And we were all like, "Oh! Remember that clock! Wow! Look at that clock!" And mom is probably like "it's just a clock I got for my wedding. Big deal." Was the clock magical? No--it was just our memories that made it that way. It was just a symbol that reminded us of a simpler time when we were comfortable, happy, and loved.

I feel this pressure to give my little girls what was given to me--a backyard that has good grass and a big playhouse and an interesting layout where they can dream and imagine and play with their friends. Right now my grass is so course and gross that you can't walk on it with bare feet, and we can hardly afford to fix it right now. I feel so bad that I'm not giving them what was given me. I'm so worried that they won't have the magical memories that I had.

But then I have an evening where we're all playing together--I'm stealing Afton's nose and she's running to Daddy, and he picks her up and "hides" her from me while I try to get at her, all the time she's letting out peals of laughter. Trevor and I hold the babies facing each other, and they giggle as we fly them around the room in our arms, Afton in the background trying to fly too. Afton goes to Grandma's house and plays in Grandpa's shop--which she talks about non-stop on the way home. Or she goes to her other Grandma's and reads an Elmo book, crying and crying when I come to take her home. These are different memories than the ones I had. And I don't know which ones she'll take with her into her adulthood. I guess all I can do is make sure that most of them are as happy and comfortable and loving as I can. All I can do is make absolutely sure that she and her sisters know they are loved, that we will do anything to make sure they are taken care of and happy, and that, when the sad times come or when they are scared, we still have each other. I think that has it's own kind of magic--the kind of magic that settles over an ordinary day and makes it into a learning opportunity and a memory that lasts a lifetime.

So even when life is a little bit messy--and my house isn't so clean--it's ok, isn't it? We're all just making memories!

Halloween

2011-11-10T13:38:00.000-08:00

MY.LIFE.IS.CRAZY!!!!

Here's a picture of my girls, Little Bo Peep and her sheep for Halloween. Its the best I can do right now!

Five Minutes of My Life...

2011-10-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

The Big Picture...and other random stuff...

2011-10-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know. It's about time I updated this blog. I HAVE been updating my Realscrappy blog, and some of those posts were really involved and took a lot of work. But man, free time is so difficult that I'm afraid this blog has gone on the back burner. Whenever I get a free minute, I have the hardest time choosing what to do. Surf Facebook and Pinterest? Do I work on my scrapbooks? Read my book? Work on the paper dolls I'm making for my neices birthday party? (They are going to be SOOO cute!) The other night I chose Lord of the Rings. Trevor and I watched about 45 minutes of the first one. We'll just work our way through them all. It will probably take two years. In fact, I think Afton will be potty-trained by the time we finish all three of them. (Which is going to be a LONG time from now)

So I'm far too disorganized in mind to make an organized post. So I'm just going to take a page out of my friend Heather's book and just be random. Sometimes, those random posts are the most entertaining to read.

Pinterest - Ok, shameless plug. I am SO getting into this. If you aren't on Pinterest yet, consider it. Here's why:
1. It's a place to put all those little ideas and thoughts that come to you while surfing the net. Instead of bookmarking that tutorial or saving that picture you like, just pin it. You can come back to it later when you are ready. Where is that tutorial I was looking at for how to _____________? That's right I pinned it. I love that.
2. If you are like me and don't like surfing the net for random tutorials and ideas, you can just see what other people pinned and borrow their ideas. I am so overwhelmed with ideas and inspiration when I'm on that site!
3. I have made two recipes now that I pinned, and I loved both of them!

4. It has hilarious pins like this one. This one had me laughing out loud at 3:00 a.m. while I was pumping last night!
Ok. No more plugging. Just go check it out.

Movies - Despite my lack of time, I do manage to watch some TV. It's something I can do while feeding a baby. Or sometimes it's the only activity Trevor and I have the energy to do after the kids are finally asleep. Other than Lord of the Rings the other night, we also watch Chuck a lot, which is our new favorite show. We are working through season 3 and we love it! We watched Thor the other night. Eh. The best thing, of course, was Thor's chest, which got way too little screen time. I'd have liked more of the chest and less of--well, everything else. It wasn't that great of a movie. The love story was SO unbelievable. I felt like I was watching a video game. I swear, the world he was from is just like one of the boards on Mario Cart. (and if you've seen the movie, you know that "Rainbow Road" looks JUST LIKE the Bifrost!)

Sleep...or the lack thereof....I'm actually writing this the next morning from when I started it. Mondays and Tuesdays are crazy as I help Trevor out the door with the three kids. And then--a half hour of peaceful bliss. It's pretty much the ONLY TIME I'm EVER in the house by myself since I had the twins. I relish it. And it's so short. This morning I planned to spend my half hour going back to bed, but the temptation to do other things won over. We don't sleep much these days. The babies are no where near a sleep schedule. They do great from 7:00 to about midnight, but after that it's anyone's guess. Last night they were up every hour and a half. We are both irritable and ornery with lack of sleep--especially Trevor, who has a much harder time going without. I just don't know what to do about it.

Paperdoll Project - So my sister-in-law asked me to make some paperdolls for her daughter's birthday party in December. Wisely she asked me early, because they take a lot of time to make. But I am LOVING it. It's been so long since I was able to really draw anything, and so I've fully enjoyed it. Right now I'm working on making the dolls. I draw them, scan them in, then use Photoshop to perfect them. Then I reprint them and back them with several layers of sturdy paper. That's where I'm at now--the part I hate. Backing them is NOT fun. But here is a picture of a few of the dolls! I'm making ten of them. It's going to take forever. But then I get to design the clothes and that's my favorite part!

My Little Girls - I love my babies. All three of them. Even on days like today. It's now the evening, and I'm exhausted. The only reason I even have a minute right now is because I'm pumping. (that's right, I can type AND pump. I'm that awesome.) Its almost 8:00 and I haven't eaten anything in hours because I haven't had time. This is the first time I've sat down since getting home. Its just constant. BUT--really, isn't this worth it?

Right now Afton is downstairs watching An American Tail which was one of my favorites as a child. It's so cute listening to her trying to sing along. She loves to learn the words to songs and sing them. Today in car she was doing quite well while watching Beauty and the Beast. We just put her in a "big bed" and she is so excited about it. It's actually the daybed I got for Christmas in 1988 and used until I married Trevor!

The twins are starting to laugh and smile, now. And that makes them SO much more fun. They are starting to interact. My predictions, based on what observations I have made so far:

1. Scarlett will roll over first. She will also discover her hands first
2. Ripley will talk first and probably walk first, too.

The Big Picture- My life is hard right now. No question. I am so crazy busy. I am a very efficient person that can get an astounding amount done in a very small amount of time, due to my complete ability to ignore small details and rush through it. I am a "big picture" person, and I can look at something and do things in order of priority to get it done. But now--now I have way more stuff to fit in than even I can handle. And that means that sometimes the laundry sits clean in its basket for several days. The mail doesn't get picked up and Netflix sits for a ridiculously long time before I remember to put it in the box. Making dinner is rare, and when I DO make it, its leads to a much more stressful night. Its taken me four days to start and finish this post. My kitchen is cluttered, my front room is littered with diaper bags and baby blankets. But I am trying to remember the big picture--those are little details now that have to be low on the priority list behind playing with Afton, taking care of the babies, and being with my husband for the few precious hours we are all home--before we all have to go back to work and daycare again.

But I am a happy woman. I have a loving husband, beuatiful children, a roof over our heads and an AWESOME new van. What else is there? And sometimes, I even find the time to be silly.

Free Time

2011-08-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

So...I haven't updated forever. I've been even worse on my RealScrappy blog. Every time I feel guilty about it, I remind myself that I just had twins. Surely people will forgive me for taking a little hiatus, especially on my other blog. I just don't have it in me to update that one, though I have been scrapbooking here and there--I have to. I have SO MUCH to do! I'm working on three books right now! In fact, I am already feeling guilty that I'm doing this instead of that right now. Which brings me to the topic of today's post:

FREE TIME.

Remember that stuff? I used to have a lot of it. I had so much of it, I didn't know what to do with it. We're talking single girl free time. Man, I miss that. But not so much that I'd trade my lack of it as a wife and mother to go back. Still, I do miss free time. I find that when I get it, things like cleaning and laundry and showering are starting to crowd in, and I hate that. Free time is supposed to be ME time! But it seems like when I get a little bit of it, I suddenly find myself unable to decide what to do with it. And feeling guilty, no matter what I choose, for not choosing the other thing.

Take today for instance. I had a magical 90 minutes where all three of my children were fast asleep. (Three children! Hear that? I have three children. I still can't believe it, it happened so fast.) What did I do with my free time? I WATCHED ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT. How lame can you get? I was so mad at myself! My computer was off-limits since I was, at the moment, burning a DVD of when the babies were born. But I could have read my book. (I'm currently reading Inkheart, and after 150 pages it finally got really good.) I could have sewn something, or made some hairbows. Or cleaned. Or finished unpacking from our trip to Loa. Or done something that, when finished, I would have something to show for it. Instead I watched the same 30 seconds of footage of Kim Kardashian's wedding while these obnoxious wannabe reporters talked about how gorgeous her dress was and how much money she made off her wedding. What a complete waste of time!

When it's not free time, its mom time. And don't get me wrong--I love it. My babies are growing so big every day, I can hardly believe how much they've changed. Especially since they started out three oz. different in size, and now they are FOUR POUNDS different. Scarlett is 9 lbs and Ripley is a whopping 13! When you lay them side by side, they don't even look like sisters, let alone twins.

Anyway, here I am again with a bit of freetime. The children are, miraculously, asleep again. Trevor is picking up my sister and her family at the airport. And so I am going to update my blog with recent pictures of my babies, and also a video--so that when I go to work next week and people ask, I can say, "Here's a video of how cute my girls are!" And that, to me, is definately worth my time!

Well, I know I won't really have free time again for a long time. That's the price I am paying--the price every mother pays--to raise her children. But it's ok. My babies are so precious, and even though this time in my life is extremely stressful and a huge adjustment, it's also an enormous blessing. I love my little family. And my love for my husband has grown so much since I gave birth to these three little girls. I am truly blessed--even without freetime.

Time for Another List

2011-07-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

So I've got a lot on my mind today--well nothing pressing, but lots of random thoughts floating around. Most of them have to do with twins, for some reason ;) I feel kinda bad that I'm one of THOSE PEOPLE right now--the ones whose every single post on Facebook is about the same thing. I hate those people. I've hidden those people before--you know, the girl that posts every single detail of her wedding plans each day. Or the girl that whines about the same subject every day. And now I'm that girl. I'm sure I've been hidden by people. I understand if they hide me. I find MYSELF annoying. But--it's just such a huge thing for me right now, and literally is pretty much the ONLY thing I think about. Taking care of newborn twins can be a lot of work and you have to stay focused. I can't imagine how I'll manage when Trevor is back to work. There's only like a two week time period between when he goes back and when I go back--maybe I'll be glad to go back to work in the Fall?

Anyway, this post is going to be a list of random stuff. I cannot promise that none of them will be about the twins, but I CAN promise that some of them WON'T be. But, most of them will be about our lives right now and the recovery I'm going through. Sorry. (Man, sorry about the all caps every where. That is so annoying. I'm just an annoying girl!)

1. Wait. Sorry. Scarlett's crying....#1 will have to wait...STINK that baby is cute! I just love that kid! She's got the prettiest little almond shaped eyes! (Ok, ok...this is NOT about the twins. This is NOT about the twins...be strong...)

2. For most women, pregnancy is a big obstacle in keeping your weight down. Apparently for me its a great opportunity to lose weight. I lost a lot after Afton, and then I gained it right back. So I'm hoping this time I can turn that opportunity into success. In one week I have dropped 32 lbs, the last ten was in the last two days. I now weigh six lbs less than when I got pregnant! In fact, I weigh less than I have in probably two years! My stomach is still nasty and a deflated balloon, but hey! I'll take it! I put on these pants on like Wednesday or so, and they barely fit around my waist--I had to do that maternity trick where you put an elastic around the button hole to give yourself another inch. Yesterday I put them on again, and they were totally falling off of me. WEIRD. Not sure HOW I will maintain this weight loss, though, since I can't exercise for six weeks (well, five now) and it's not like I'm in the habit or have a fridge full of healthy food. Most of what I eat right now is what the ward is bringing me. And once I CAN exersize (I can never spell that word) there will only be like one week left of the summer and then I'm back at work. And it's so hard to work out when I'm working. Especially when my number of children has tripled. Wow. #2 is long.

3. I went outside yesterday. OUTSIDE. It was so exciting. Mom came over and watched the kids while Trevor and I went out to eat at Iggy's (yeah, the maintaining weight loss thing is totally gonna happen) and then we went to Macey's and bought some essentials. It felt wonderful to be OUT. Except I forgot to take a pain pill before we left so I was hurting when we got home.

4. I breast-fed BOTH babies at the same time this morning for the first time. Without anyone helping me (i.e. handing me the babies and helping me get situated.) I was so proud of myself. Of course, I still had to feed them afterward because they either they won't stay on long enough or maybe I just run out of milk. I don't know. I never really breast-fed Afton much because she hated it. But these two, especially Scarlett, do great. I only do it like once a day though. I'm still kinda mystified by the breast-feeding thing. I mean, it takes twice as long and you still have to feed them afterward--kinda hard to live that way. But I am certainly not producing enough milk for two babies--barely enough for one, actually. So I am hoping that the actual breast-feeding will increase my milk supply. And though I am managing to feed (breast or bottle) two babies at once, I don't know what the trick is to burp two babies at once.

5. I just snapped this picture of Scarlett. Isn't she cute? Ripley is asleep so I just took one of my little Miss Scarlett. I love that kid. They are both just adorable! I call Ripley Miss Peacock because when she cries out she sounds just like a peacock. Trevor does a fabulous peacock impression, and we are at the zoo he'll do a call and the peacocks will answer. One time an albino peacock at the Tucson zoo flared his feathers and shook them like he was calling Trevor on. It was pretty cool. So, I guess that's where Ripley gets it.

6. Wow. It's like...12 hours later now. Life got pretty busy after I finished #5. And then we headed out to my Mom's house for the day. I just needed a day to relax and rest and recover. It was AWESOME. I love my parent's house. I love how inviting and comfortable it is. I'm just home there, in a way I can never be home anywhere else. We sat outside in the twilight, just talking and holding babies and enjoying the breeze. It was an a great day. I was in a lot of pain for part of it, so it was nice to be babied by my mommy.

7. We need a yard. How much work is it to just roto till the back yard, plant some seed, and just sort of start over? My little Afton needs to be able to play outside. I love my mom's yard. I love how interesting and comfortable it is. And it was like that when I was a kid--I don't want Afton to miss out on a backyard until she's 11. You know?

8. My ward is awesome. They are bringing us dinner every other day for two weeks. Isn't that great? I don't think a lot of wards do that. I am very blessed. But then, these two are the ONLY babies in our ward, apart from the little boy that is due in about three weeks. I imagine if you live in one of those wards out way west where there are like 15 primaries and 52 nurseries, you probably don't get many dinners...

9. Kylee is here. She's my niece. I have some pretty awesome neices and nephews. I've always really related with Kylee. She's 13. She's going to stay for two days and help me and Trevor out. She's a fabulous babysitter--she changes diapers without being asked. And today when we got home I started doing the dishes, and she offered to help me. Seriously, I love this girl. It's gonna be a fun couple of days having her here!

10. My sister Cindy taught me a really great twin trick. When you need them to be awake but they are kinda sleepy, put them next to each other and let them kick around and watch each other. Even at this young age it totally works--unless they are REALLY tired. They just stare at each other and then they cry. Well, Scarlett cries, and Ripley whines a little bit as if she's saying, "Wait...we're crying now? Are we supposed to be crying?" I put in my first post about the twins that Scarlett was the mellow one. Well, that's because that was the PLAN. We always thought whatever twin was Ripley would be the dominant one. But no. At least for the time being, it appears to be Scarlett. Ripley is way more mellow. Ok, they are 9 days old. So who knows.

11. My sister Nicki took some SWEET pictures of the twins and of Afton. I am not going to post them here--yet. I have made up a birth announcement and I'm waiting for the few hard copies (that are for relatives) to come, and then I'll post pictures here and the announcement on Facebook. SO cute. Nicki is such an amazing photographer, and I'm so grateful to her for doing this for me! So stay tuned for those pictures. But here's one of the ones of Afton. Isn't she just adorable?

Well. I guess I'm stopping at the rather weird number of 11 things. But oh well. Right now Trevor and Kylee are feeding my babies and the mom-guilt is stepping in. So I'd better go, you know, be a parent and stuff.

Introducing the Rees Twins!

2011-07-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

I had twins YESTERDAY and I'm already updating my blog! How lame am I? But I keep getting so many questions on Facebook that I thought I'd rather write it all out here than as fragmented responses on Facebook.

First of all, the birth went great. Except the doctor forgot about it. It was kinda funny. They went to give me my block, and the anestheseologist was like, "Has anyone heard from the doctor? Maybe we should get hold of him first," and it took them a good 20 minutes to get him. He'd been at the hospital late the night before and was heading to Riverton Hospital--totally forgot he had a scheduled c-section Friday morning. I wasn't upset--poor guy. I don't know how these OB doctors have a chance to have a life at all. And its not like I was in labor or anything. Anyway, I wasn't remotely nervous or scared the whole time. It was so laid back and easy compared to Afton's birth. I was surprised how much I could feel during the c-section--it didn't hurt, just a lot of pressure, but I could definately feel it when they pulled the first baby out. When I heard her cry, I was crying too. And then how strange--we weren't done .They still had to get the OTHER baby! I saw them both breifly and heard them both crying--Baby B was TICKED OFF let me tell you! Then they whisked them away and I had to wait THREE HOURS before I got to see them! I was so drugged up though, that I really did need the time. My face was so itchy. I hate that effect from morphine!

So then they brought me the babies. And they were so beautiful! And it was also very clear they are NOT identical, so we feel no need to get a blood test. Choosing which baby was which was really cool--and we actually got it on video by accident. When they first brought the babies to me, I was holding them both, and Baby A started fussing and crying. I tried to calm her but she kept crying. Then I looked down at her and said, "Scarlett," in this soothing voice, and she immediately stopped crying. I looked at Trevor, stunned, and we knew then that Baby A was most definately Scarlett. Which was what we'd already been leaning toward anyway, actually.

Everyone keeps asking who they look like. Its really hard to tell. Especially when we know that Afton looked so much like Trevor when she was born, but then morphed into me as she got older! They don't look like Afton though. I like that all three of my girls totally have their OWN look. Ripley has chubbier cheeks than Scarlett, and clearly has a different, more ski-jump nose. Her hair is lighter and she has a little less of it. Neither of them has as much as Afton did. She's got this little scowly face that is so cute. She has ears flat against her head, unlike Afton's, who took after Trevor and they really stuck out! She's the better eater of the two as well.

Scarlett is darker--even her skin tone is darker. And her hair. She has a less pronounced nose. And the best part? DIMPLES!! No idea where she managed to get those--neither of us have dimples in our families. But you can see them clear as day in both cheeks. She always has this little pleasant half-smile on her face. She's the more mellow of the two, and she just doesn't eat as well for some reason. Her ears don't stick out either--only Afton inherited that lovely little trait from Trevor! She also has Trevor's hairline and a widow's peak.

I am recovering ridiculously well. I can't believe how much I can get around on only the day after. I feel great, actually. I can sit up on my own without trouble--it's hard to believe I even had abdominal surgery. Though--I'm sure if I stopped taking the drugs they give me, I'd be reminded soon enough! Dr. Barney told me that this is one of the smoothest twin pregnancies he's ever seen. How cool is that?

And what about Afton? It's hard to say. She was excited about the babies when she came yesterday with my parents. She pointed and said, "Babies!" And she really wanted to hold one. And then when she WAS holding one, she'd point at the other and say, "I want THAT one!" I think they are just toys to her. But she was also really clingy to Grandma and others, trying to get attention. I don't think we'll really know how she feels about it until we bring them home on HER turf.

Trevor has been FABULOUS. He was so helpful when Afton was born, but he's even better now. Being a CNA has given him a lot more training and confidence. And if he has to help me with something a little personal or undesirable, neither of us is uncomfortable. I mean--he's done much worse at work, and I'm his wife! He really has been great--doing almost all the feedings and the diapers too! I have only changed ONE diaper so far, and that was Scarlett's this morning!

So yes, this has been a fabulous experience so far. The babies are healthy, I feel great, and all is well! Though I did just find out that I'm really anemic--which explains why I've been particularly loopy this time. So I'm having a blood transfusion--should be starting it in a few minutes. But that doesn't prevent me from having visitors! We love visitors, so if you want to come see us in the hospital, you are welcome to. We will be here until Monday for sure.

Final Thoughts Before My World Changes

2011-07-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

I AM HAVING TWINS TOMORROW!!!!!

Here is my official final pregnancy shot. I am going in to have these babies in about 14 hours. We go in to the hospital at 4:30 a.m. and the C-section is scheduled for 6:30. I can hardly believe it. Everything has been leading up to this, and now it's finally here. And then--it will pass, and I will be on to a new phase that I haven't thought near enough about. I have focused so much on the pregnancy and getting them here safe and sound, that the actual task of taking care of two babies hasn't crossed my mind near often enough.

I had a babysitter lined up to take Afton today, but she kinda flaked on me. I'm glad. I have enjoyed my last day as a parent to one child. Afton and I have sung songs, rocked, watched a Barbie movie, and snuggled in my bed where she kept kissing me. Trevor managed to get off work early--bless that guy who was willing to cover the second half of his shift--and he's on his way home right now. We have so much to do. Get the car seats installed, make sure everything is packed, put up the pack and play. Get the beds made and just touch up the house so it looks great when we get back. I'm nesting still--I want the house to look just right before I can really feel ready to have these kids.

Yesterday my two friends, Heather Webb and Carson Barlow, came over and helped me clean--BLESS THEM. They did the things that I have a hard time doing like mopping the floor, scrubbing the tub, even detailing my car. I feel so much more ready since they were here to help me out. My sister-in-law delivered the little red and green bracelets she made for the twins. When we look at those little faces and decide which baby gets which name, we'll slip those little bracelets on their wrists to seal the deal. I have little caps for them to wear, lovingly made by my neighbor, friend, and daycare provider Brook, that they will wear home from the hospital. (the ones pictures below were actually made by my friend Heather) I finished little Scarlett's dress, as I did Ripley's a few weeks ago. Their bag is packed, Afton's bag is already at Mom's, and there's just a few more details to work out.

I keep trying to explain to Afton that her sisters are coming, but she doesn't quite get it. Though, yesterday I was changing her diaper and my neices Anna and Bethany were in the room. I said, "Bethany and Anna are sisters, Afton. You are going to have sisters too!" Then I turned to Bethany and said, "She doesn't get it, does she?" And then Afton said, "Sisters! Ripley and Scarlett!" It was so stinkin' cute. Maybe she does get it a little bit!

I don't think I really comprehend the change that is about to take place in my life. I don't think you really can. When I was pregnant with Afton I knew I would love her. I knew that I would feel a new kind of love I'd never felt before. I knew I would die for her. But it wasn't until I held her in my arms that I really understood that. And I love her so much more today then I did that day. I love her more and more all the time as she gets bigger and learns new things and says the cutest funniest things. I love everything in her that is like me, and everything in her that is like the man I love. How can I possibly love another child--two more children at once--the same way I love her? How can I possibly understand them and get to know them like I did with her, when I have two at once? But I know I will.

I make fun of Afton's stupid Barbie movies all the time, but there's a line from a song from "Barbie: Island Princess" that I keep thinking about.

If we make room for someone new
Doesn't mean that there's less for you
Only means that our circle has grown
Love knows, Love grows
Bigger than before
In your heart
There's always more

So I know that I will love these little girls as much as Afton. But I won't understand that for a few more hours yet. I feel very blessed that I have been able to carry these babies two days past full-term--something most twin moms are not able to do. I am grateful that thus far they have been perfectly healthy. They estimated their weight yesterday as 7 lbs 10 oz for baby A and 7 lbs 12 oz for baby B. Very likely this is way off, but it still shows they are a good size and healthy and ready. They've been kicking me all day. I think they are just as ready to meet me and Trevor as we are to meet them!

My Sewing Projects--So Far

2011-06-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

So I'm finally doing a post on all my sewing projects! Yay! Yes, I'm still addicted--the excitement of it has not yet faded. It's something I can do without a lot of walking around--and right now, walking around pretty much sucks.

I remember the first time I tried to sew something. I was a kid and wanted to make Barbie clothes. I found a needle and thread (my sister Nicki showed me how to thread it) and would basically wrap the material around the doll and sew it on every which way. At some point, my mom noticed that I was interested in sewing. So she took me aside and showed me a few things--how to do a hem, how to gather, basically, how to make a skirt. I still remember the little pink skirt we made together with the pink ruffle on the bottom.

After that I'd make other Barbie clothes, but of course they sucked. But then, making Barbie clothes, especially the top, isn't really easy. I was so excited in 7th grade when we took Home Ec, and I already knew how to do a few things on the sewing machine. I don't think I took a sewing class again until my Senior year, and then I remember making a dress and some rice frogs and stuff. After that, I only used the sewing machine to make rice frogs occasionally--I remember making one for my husband when we first met. And one time Trevor and I made a cloak for his Halloween costume. I also made the skirts for my ballroom team the first year I taught it--they were simple circle skirts and easy to make, but a pain to cut out. But someone else made the boys' shirts and the sashes.

Why I never persued sewing more, when clearly I was interested at such a young age, is beyond me. I remember telling people "I don't sew because it makes me swear." But I've now realized that, although it still might make me swear occasionally, it helps to use a good sewing machine. My mom's machine is 40 years old and totally thrashed.

So now, if you've been following my blog, you know that I got together with my sister Nicki in April and made the bedding for my twins. That just got me going. So we bought me a sewing machine for my birthday. We made the quilts for our twins, and I made a valance and a table cloth as well--you can see that on my earlier post. From there, I've done a few other projects as well--and that's what I want to share in this post!

The first project I tackled really highlights how very little I knew about sewing. I still have a ton to learn, but now I can look at the pattern of this little baby dress and understand that I was WAY over my head with this one. Still, I DID finish it. But whether little Ripley will ever wear it remains to be seen. It has SO many problems. I wanted to use the leftover material from their bedding, and I used most of it to make this dress. But I sure which I'd waited until I had a firmer grasp on what I was doing! I don't think I can get more of this material--I bought it online. Anyway, I am going to make a similar one for Scarlett using HER leftover material, and it will be interesting to see how much easier it is the second time around. But I just haven't done it yet.

My next project was quite a bit easier, and I should have started with it! I chose a pattern that didn't have sleeves or collar but was very simple. I liked the first one I made so much that I made a second one! Only--I forgot the lesson I learned to ALWAYS prewash the fabric, so the second one (black) shrunk a little and doesn't fit her as well. Afton wears these two outfits all the time! Once you get to her size, it's a lot harder to find stuff for her at Kid to Kid, and I HATE buying new stuff too much--so expensive! (not that making her these two outfits was ANY cheaper, but at least I got to pick the fabric!) Anyway, I'm glad I have a couple of summer outfits for her to wear!

Next, I made this little yellow dress, from the same pattern that I used above. It was quite a bit harder than the first two. I love that about sewing though--each pattern I do teaches me something new that I didn't know how to do. And reading and understanding a pattern is the HARDEST part! But I've also learned to utilize Youtube. If there's something I don't get--like this pattern called for bias tape and I wasn't sure what it was for--I just type it into youtube and watch a video of how to do it. Very helpful! Trevor picked the material for this. I was afraid it was too bright but now I just love it! She looks so cute running around in it, though I wish I'd used this cute sunflower ribbon I found instead of rick-rack. Rick-rack always looks so--70's. And homemade. I mean, have you EVER seen an outfit in a store that uses rick-rack?

Trevor and I collaborated once again and decided to make drapes for Afton's room, in an attempt to get her to sleep longer in the mornings, instead of getting up at 6:30. This, by the way, TOTALLY WORKED. She sleeps till 9:00 most of the time now! Anyway, I must say I'm not overly thrilled with how this one turned out. I mean, they are sturdy and well made, and we used blackout material on the back so it really does block the sun very well. But it's just WAY too much green. The material is leftover from the twins room, and there IS a green highlight in Afton's room, but it's just too much. But I don't really care. They work.

Next, I decided to sew some curtains for the french doors in my kitchen. These french doors lead out to the TUMOR. The Tumor is an "add-on" room that a previous owner built--and built very badly. If you don't believe me, observe Exhibit A:

Anyway, we haven't removed it because we are afraid the state of the siding underneath is really bad, so we aren't going to attempt it until we are prepared to replace the siding. The door that leads to the tumor has these large glass windows, and since we store pretty much all our crap in the tumor, people can see this the minute they walk in the front door. For 2 1/2 years I've been wanting to buy or make some curtains for those doors, but never have. Now I found it ridiculously easy! We bought the material at Joanne's on sale for about $30, and then the rods at Wal-mart. I managed to finish them in only a few hours, and only needed Trevor's help to cut the material. (Crawling around on the floor is NOT my forte in my present overly-pregnant state.) And of course, he installed the rods.
I think they turned out quite nice, and the effect on the room is quite startling. It's amazing how different a room can feel with new curtains!

And now my latest project. This I finished today. I love this little dress! But unfortunately Afton can't wear it yet because it's way too big. She's in that weird size right now where some 2T's are too small, and some 3T's are too big. I made this as a 3T and it drowns her. So we'll have to wait to see it on her!

Ok, this was a WAY long post with WAY too much detail that you don't really care about. But oh well. I'm pregnant, ornery, and totally bored. So there.

To the Fathers in My Life

2011-06-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a radio station the other day that was talking about Father's Day and how it's not such a big deal as Mother's Day. People on average spend much less on Father's Day gifts than they do on Mother's Day. Among the many predictions from the commentators as to why this is, neither of them mentioned what I thought it might be. There are less dads. Many more children grow up without a father than they do a mother. Out of curiosity, I checked some statistics on fatherless children in America:

In a study of 146 adolescent friends of 26 adolescent suicide victims, teens living in single-parent families are not only more likely to commit suicide but also more likely to suffer from psychological disorders, when compared to teens living in intact families.
Teenagers living in single-parent households are more likely to abuse alcohol and at an earlier age compared to children reared in two-parent households
In a study of 700 adolescents, researchers found that "compared to families with two natural parents living in the home, adolescents from single-parent families have been found to engage in greater and earlier sexual activity.
Children with fathers at home tend to do better in school, are less prone to depression and are more successful in relationships. Children from one-parent families achieve less and get into trouble more than children from two parent families.
The economic consequences of a [father's] absence are often accompanied by psychological consequences, which include higher-than-average levels of youth suicide, low intellectual and education performance, and higher-than-average rates of mental illness, violence and drug use

http://www.photius.com/feminocracy/facts_on_fatherless_kids.html

We truly live in a world where having an absent father or no father at all is becoming more and more common. I feel so grateful that this is not the case for me, or for my children. I know that sometimes this is unavoidable and not the fault of the women affected by it--I don't mean to point fingers at single mothers, because I totally respect what they are doing. And am mystified by how they manage at all. But I am just so grateful for the great men in my life.

My dad is awesome. Everyone loves him. When I was growing up, several of my friends who did not have fathers or did not have close relationships with their fathers tended to adopt my dad. Dad is the kind of man that everyone feels comfortable around. He may seem shy, but he's not really. He can talk to just about anybody. Everyone likes my dad. Even as a child, when reprimanded and crying in my room and feeling really sorry for myself, I would often say, "I hate everyone!" And then quickly amend this with, "Except Dad!" You just can't hate my dad. He's honest, hard-working, and loving. He is always ready to give you a hug--and he gives awesome hugs.

My dad was always there, always reliable, always AROUND. He went out on his own with his cabinetry business when I was about four, and he works in the shop in our backyard. So he's always been home and accessible to me. Dad is always there. How lucky I was to have him home every day as I was growing up--to know there was always a parent nearby. Mom was always around too--he and my mom have an awesome bond. They don't seem to ever get sick of each other. They spend A LOT of time together. They just ENJOY each other. So many couples find it hard to adjust at retirement or when their kids move out, unsure of what to do with just each other. This never seemed to happen to them. They are just so compatible. Trevor and I have a very similar marriage, for which I am so grateful.

I love my dad so much. I think what I learned most from him is what it looks like to work hard and love your life. Work isn't ugly or undesirable--its something to take pride in. And my Dad, a total Master Craftsman with wood, takes pride in the work he does. Whether it's building a kitchen, growing a pumpkin, or playing music on his guitar. Dad knows how to take joy in the simple things, and not dwell on what he does not have or feel depressed for bad things that may have happened to him. Life is beautiful and simple for him, and it doesn't take a lot of money, fame or attention to keep him happy. He's a man who can find complete solace and joy in watching a sunset or staring at the birds in the bird feeder for twenty minutes. He finds the simple things fascinating--and that is truly a great gift. I think to be happy with you have, while still striving to improve, is a great way to find happiness in this life.
**I realized when I was writing this that I couldn't think of a single picture I had with just me and my dad! So I took one with him last night when I visited him for father's day. This is my favorite one:

And then there is my husband.

How did I get such a great guy? Seriously? What would I do without him? But this is about father's day, not husband day. He's a great husband, and much like my own father, but Trevor is an absolutely phenomenal father. He isn't the type to come home, play with the kids a minute, then leave it up to me. He is hands on. He gets it done, a lot of times much better than I can. Afton absolutely adores him. She almost always prefers him to me. He's so gentle and sweet with her, but he's not a softie either--he will discipline her when she needs it, without totally losing his temper. But I just love how much he loves her. He can play with her forever. His patience with her is never ending.

I CANNOT wait to see him with our new little ones. I remember when I was anticipating Afton's birth, one of the things I looked forward to the most was seeing his expression when they put that baby in his arms. How crushed I was when it became clear that I would have to have a c-section, and would not get to see that moment. After a quick look at her, they sent me off to the recovery room, and Trevor got to be with his little girl--without me. But he still got his moment, even if I wasn't there to see it. And I'm sure this is how it will be again when the twins arrive in a few weeks (days? please?) and he has that special one-on-one--well, in this case, one-on-two, time with them. But it's ok. I'm sure that no matter what I do, they will worship him as much as Afton does. Why? Because the love he has for his children is so real and tangible--he treasures them and they can feel that. He's not afraid to cry or be emotional. He's not afraid to stand up and be the authority. Pride has no place in his parenting--it is all about the best interest of his child. And I love that about him. I loved him with all my heart when we were dating. I loved him even more after we got married. But having children with him has multiplied that love beyond anything I ever knew possible. With each new child, the love just gets bigger and bigger. We created these children together--they would not exist without us--and they make us feel so complete.

In a world where good men seem to be so hard to find, where bad behavior in men is often excused and accepted and considered unavoidable, somehow I have been fortunate enough to be raised by and then married to two of the most amazing men God had to offer. Why I received this blessing I do not know--I am certainly no more deserving of it than anyone else. But I am truly grateful for these amazing men and what they have taught me. Love the simple things, love your children, love each other--and no matter what happens to you, you can still be happy. I love you two!

A Memo to the Twins and Other Random Thoughts

2011-06-17T23:01:00.000-07:00

My dad got after me again to update my blog. He says he's sick of looking at the picture of my feet every time he checks it. Sadly, my actual feet now look MUCH worse than they do in that photo. Picture them five times bigger and bright red. But, for my Dad's sake, I won't post a picture of them. Actually, that would be pretty awesome if I did...

***

Well, what can I post? Here are some updated pictures of my nursery. Not much is changed, except we got blinds, I finished the lamp, and I don't think I posted pictures of the awesome closet my dad put in for us.

The doctor scheduled my C-Section for the 8th of July--two days after my 38-week due date. Too long for me, but that's ok. I won't be having them on the 8th. I'm going early. The babies are going to start coming on the 1st of July. I have written this in a memo and sent it via umbilical cord. I am still awaiting a reply, but I'm sure once they read my reasons (longer time with them before I go back to work, our new insurance year starts on July 1st, and how completely miserable I am) they will discuss it between themselves and decide that I am thoroughly convincing and they should comply with my request. I also mentioned that they have a pretty awesome dad that they are TOTALLY going to want to meet. I thought about mentioning real food, but it will be awhile before they actually get real food and I didn't want to get their hopes up. I wrote this in proper business format, and as I tell my students, people take you more seriously when you write in proper business format. (I'm not sure if that's really true, but that's why I tell them.) I'm sure Ripley and Scarlett will be so impressed with my skills, they will be eager to see what the outside of me looks like, and not just the inside. I smell a lot better on the outside, too, I told them. That should help.

***

Do you have words that you can NEVER spell? I can never spell CALENDER. Or EXERCISE. The only reason they are spelled right this time is because I have spell check on in blogger. Otherwise they'd be wrong. I can't spell RESTAURANT either.

***

Stretch marks are SO ugly. I'm so glad I'm not going to be wearing a bikini any time soon. You know, there are some distinct advantages to not being beautiful. Now don't get me wrong--I'm not putting myself down here. There's nothing wrong with having average looks, and I don't think it's putting myself down to say they are. I'm not super model beautiful, and I'm kinda glad. Here's why:

MEGAN'S LIST OF REASONS WHY BEING BEAUTIFUL ISN'T AS COOL AS IT LOOKS

Beautiful people tend to define themselves by their looks--other people are always defining them that way. And it would be hard to be defined by something that can't last. So when the looks starts to slip and then go, they run the risk of having a major identity crisis. Of course, this isn't true of all beautiful people, but you get my drift.
Beautiful girls get asked out a lot more, but they never know if the guy is interested in THEM, or just in the outside package. At least I know that when Trevor asked me out, he liked me for ME and not because he just thought I had a nice ass.
Beautiful people are desperate to hold on to their beauty and suffer a lot when it starts to go. I don't have to worry about stretch marks, because no one sees my belly but my hubby, and we've already established that he loves me for me and not my ass. Or my flat stomach. But it must be SO HARD to see what was once a gorgeous body go to pot. Seriously.

***

When I was a kid I used to sing to the devil. Yeah. I remember wandering around the backyard singing to the devil, trying to convince him that he should give up the whole devil gig. I was pretty sure that being a really cute and innocent child, my words would hold a lot more weight with him than someone like a prophet or Jesus. I'm pretty sure it didn't work though. But at least I tried. No one can say I didn't try to reason with him.

***

You know what I find REALLY annoying? I mean REALLY, REALLY, annoying? People who don't use punctuation on their status updates in Facebook. It's actually pretty amazing how Facebook can expose the people who didn't pay attention in English class. It can be pretty shocking how many of them have no writing skills whatsoever. I'm not just talking about kids, but grown adults who appear to be perfectly well educated, and they probably are--but why do they write in run-on sentences? Don't they re-read what they wrote and go, "Wow, that makes no sense!" I hate updates like:

"oh my gosh you won't believe it I just got back from powell with my family well it was fun but i'm so burned ouch that really hurts."

Really? Can you not hear the commas calling from the sidelines, begging you to remember them? What about the old SHIFT key when it comes to capitalizing? Now as a keyboarding teacher I've had a few astonishing moments when I realize one of my students doesn't know how to use a shift key and has been using CAPS LOCK every time they capitalize a word. But--come on! That HAS to be a rare thing, right?

I often want to call these puncuation neglectors to repentence on my own status, but then I think, "this could cause Facebook drama," which, as we all know, is even worse than not using punctuation in your status updates.

***

Here's an awesome pic that explains why my husband will be such a freaking awesome dad to three little girls:

It also shows how women are multi-taskers even as children. Afton always wants to brush her teeth while getting her hair done. And I say, go for it. It keeps her busy while I do it. (And yes, I usually do her hair. Trevor just likes to blow it out before putting her to bed. Cute, huh?)

***

Well this has been fun, but it's Midnight so I suppose I ought to go to bed. I have A LOT to do this weekend, and I am so grateful for the friends and family that have offered to help take Afton while I get it done and/or watch Trevor get it done while I rest on the couch. Good night!

How Much Guilt is Normal?

2011-06-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Tonight I asked Trevor how often he feels guilty. He thought it was kind of a weird question. I told him I feel guilty ALL THE TIME, and I wanted to know if it's a "woman" thing, or just a "person" thing, or maybe it's a "mom" thing, or a "pregnant" thing. He said he feels guilt often--then asked how often I feel it.

Every. Day.

If I forget to make dinner. If I don't put Afton to bed. For every minute he's playing with her and I'm not. For every diaper he changes instead of me. For every time he does the dishes, even though I cooked the dinner and I know it's only fair--still, shouldn't I be doing something rather than lazing on the couch? And even though I KNOW I should have my poor nasty swollen feet up, how can I do that and leave it all for him to do? Or worse, NOT do? If I'm sitting there and he's cleaning (not a super common occurance, but it DOES happen) I feel guilty for being lazy. Though, often enough it's been the other way around and hasn't bothered him one bit. And then there's the unreasonable guilt--like how is it fair that I am having TWO babies when there are couples, much more financially stable than we are, who can't even have one? And how can I even dare to feel overwhelmed when I have been given such a blessing? And how can I feel so guilty for questioning, "Why me? Why did You give me TWO? Why did you think I can handle this, or afford this?" and then MORE guilt for sounding as if I don't want both my babies, when I DO! I DO I DO!!

Trevor conceded he doesn't ever feel that much guilt. He said that he wants to spend time with Afton, and not to feel guilty when he's having his own playtime with her. It made me feel a little better.

Do all women feel this much guilt? Is it normal? Is it healthy? Do women feel more guilt than men? Is that just part of being female? Or are my female friends reading this going, "Damn, girl, go see a therapist!"

I'm having a hard day. I had to try really hard not to have a complete breakdown at the park today. I KNOW it's pregnancy hormones, and frustration that it's summer and there's so much to do, and I'm too big and awkward and tired to do any of it. I don't want to miss this summer with Afton, as she gets older and is growing so much. But I can't walk around Wheeler Farm. I can't take her swimming very easily or least not without Trevor. Going to the zoo again is out of the question. I can't do so many things. And so what do I feel? GUILTY!!

Man, I am SO FAT. (Pregnant fat. One thing I am NOT guilty about right now is my weight. One of my favorite things about being pregnant is it's the only time I feel no guilt whatsoever about what I eat and what I weigh. So liberating. I can let it all hang out and not care. I'm HUGE. It's actually kinda awesome.)

So help me out, guys--am I crazy? Are all women like this? Am I just so pregnant I can't tell the difference between real emotion and hormone-induced hysteria? Grrr...

For Dad

2011-05-30T22:06:00.000-07:00

My dad told me today that he checks my blog a lot to see the progress of my babies on my little widget. But he says I don't update enough. So this is for you, Dad.

...

...

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Hmm...I guess that's why I don't update. I can't think of anything!

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...

...

Well, I thought of something that HAS been rolling in my head for a while. But this really has nothing to do with my dad. The fact that I'm updating at all is for you, Dad, but the subject matter is totally random. Anyway, I have been listening to "Scream-Free Parenting" on CD, since my sister lent it to me. It's been very interesting and I can't wait for Trevor to listen to it so we can talk about it. But in the last chapter, he talked about something that I've been thinking about all week--the four levels of love. I actually sketched it out in graph form because it made me see it better:

Level 1: I love me for my benefit - Obviously the lowest level of love, a very selfish level. You care only for yourself and your needs, and will do whatever it takes to fulfill them. Babies are pretty much at this level. So are some pretty non-functional adults.

Level 2: I Love you for my benefit--a higher level, because now at least you are thinking of someone else. But you are only thinking of them so long as, once again, it benefits you. If it gets hard, you are out of there.

Level 3: I Love you for your benfit--this can sound like the highest level, because it's so self-sacrificing. It's also pretty unhealthy. And impossible. You can't really completely love someone else without putting yourself into the equation in some way. A relationship is made of two people--a truly healthy one will fulfill the needs of both parties. Loving at this level is exhausting and unrewarding.

Level 4: I Love me for your benefit--I love this. It can sound a little selfish, but it means that you take care of yourself, so they don't have to. You bring yourself to the relationship as a whole person, who can give of yourself freely. You don't rely on someone else to make you happy--your are already happy, and are then able to make them happy. You love yourself, and thus don't have all that baggage that can keep you from loving them freely and unconditionally. Therefore, THEY benefit from your healthy love of yourself.

Isn't that cool? For some reason, this really got me. I think sometimes we think we are bad people if we take time out for "me-time." I'm not one of those people. I love me-time. It's been the hardest thing for me to adjust to after having a baby--not having as much time to do what I want to do. I'm just glad to know that I'm not a horrible person for wanting it and making time for it. Trevor is the same way, and we often barter in our household for me-time. It's basically our currency. We take turns, so the other can have time to work on hobbies or do what they need to do. Of course, this book wasn't really about your marriage, but about your kids. Afton is so young still, I have a hard time applying it. But you can most definately apply this to parenting. If you are loving your child at the highest level of love, then you aren't as hurt when they don't give back or appreciate your sacrifices--because your motivation is completely changed. You are not doing it so you can get a reward for it. You are doing it because it's just part of who you are. I know a lot of people that I benefit from, just because of who they are. I am blessed just to know them and have their example. These are people who are taking the time to take care of themselves, and I benefit from what they are becoming. Does this make sense at all?

This concept originally came from a monk, who was talking about man's relationship with God. So at church on Sunday, I was thinking about that too. How to apply it in a spiritual sense. I'm still working out the kinks on that, but I do know that you can't truly give selfless service unless your motivations are at the highest level. Unless your love for God and your need to do something that will better yourself is of higher importance than being awarded or noticed for your efforts.

Well, that's all. I usually have no real deep thoughts in my brain--I'm pretty much in this "TWINS, TWINS, TWINS" mode all the time. So I'm proud of myself for having something a little deeper to think about this week. Hope you weren't too bored, Dad. I love you!

Boredom/Anticipation

2011-05-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

I am so freaking bored. I don't know what to do with myself. I find that I suddenly seem to have an abundance of extra time and I have no idea what to do with it. I'm not reading a book right now--nothing seems to interest me. I work on my scrapbook, but get bored quickly, or I don't feel very inspired. When Afton is awake I can think of a million things I need to do, but then when she's asleep I am so bored I want her to wake up again. And this is just on the weekend! Today is Stake Conference, and as we aren't remotely willing to drag Afton to it, we aren't going. And I find myself sad there's no church to take up three hours of a long boring day. Now THAT is bored!!

I know why this is happening. As a general rule, I don't get bored for long. I always have a million projects and things I'm working on. This has everything to do with pregnancy and nesting. I was the same way when close to my due date with Afton. It's like the anticipation of a coming baby makes you sub-consciously make room for them. I know that when the twins get here I will have less free time than I've ever had in my life. I will look longingly back at these boring days in May and June and wonder how I could ever have been bored. At least, that's what happened with Afton. But regardless, I'm making room for these two little ones. And that's good. Sometimes I long to hold them with a severe intensity, and can't believe I still have so many weeks to wait. Especially becuase I'm getting HUGE and officially, my waist is bigger now than it was when I was full term with Afton! It feels like I should be going into labor any time. And though they are now big enough--probably between 3 1/2 - 4 lbs--to survive outside the womb, 31 weeks is certainly not an ideal time to give birth. I need to give them AT LEAST four more weeks.

I'm frustrated because it's hard to get out and go anywhere. This weekend has been hard--walking very far is suddenly a lot harder, and get this pulling sensation when I do that makes me need to sit. (No, it is NOT a contraction!) I have so little energy, and so despite the decent weather, we can't go to the zoo or the aquarium or swimming or anything else fun. It sucks.

Anyway, that's what's on my mind today. I have no idea what to do with my day, though I'm toying with the idea of cleaning out the tumor. (The tumor, if you don't know, is an ugly "addition" added by the previous owners of our house in which we store all kinds of crap.) But cleaning out the tumor would really mean me sitting there and telling Trevor what to do, so as you can imagine, he's not particularly keen on the idea.

Well, that's my boring Sunday morning. I don't even have a picture to share. So sorry!

List of Random Thoughts

2011-05-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

So I was wondering what to update my blog with, and found that I have a million unrelated thoughts. So...sounds like it's list time.

1. I have a new phone. We transfered to Cricket and they LOST my phone number. Never were able to port it over. After six days of waiting, we decided it was fruitless to keep waiting, when obviously they are a bunch of idiots. So we went to Verizon. And you know what? Apparently we get a huge discount because of Trevor's job at the U. And apparently I get the same discount for being a teacher. Did you know that? So, yeah, information, that would have been useful to me NINE YEARS ago when I got my first phone. I want all that money back. (If you need my new number, just email me and I'll get it to you!)

2. I finally found a lamp base for my baby room. I went to a consignment store. Its off-white instead of white, and a little too big once I brought it home. But it's ok. Didn't cost me much. THEN, I go to my sister Jen's house last night and we were downstairs in her storage room, and THERE IT IS! The perfect lamp base. White. The right size. Exactly what I imagined. The one I knew in the pre-existence. And she doesn't even want it and she gave it to me. So now I have two lamp bases. Hmmm...guess I'd better make another lamp shade and put the other one in Afton's room.

3. There are only 13 days of school left! Hooray!!! I cannot wait to get out of here! I'm not near as stressed as I was at this time last year, but I still want to be home with my little girl and my husband.

4. My mom told me the other day that I'm not near as ornery with this pregnancy as I was with my first. I think she's right. Maybe because school isn't as stressful this year as it was that year, since I dropped pretty much all the "extra" stuff I do. I've learned that doing extra stuff only stresses me out and is not remotely appreciated by my administration.

5. Trevor passed his last pre-requisite classes this quarter. One by the skin of his teeth. He needs at least a C+ in each class to be considered for the program his work offers that pays for all his nursing school. I was SO afraid he wouldn't pass, and then he'd have to go to school next semester. And if he has extra time, I'd rather he spend it working than going to school, seeing as we are going to be dirt poor once these babies get here.

6. I am not (at the moment) getting seven periods next year. I usually teach an extra period, and it means no breaks during the day but also another $400 (before taxes) a month. This year the enrollment in another teacher's classes in my department was unexpectedly low, and we had to switch everything around and the bottom line is, no 7th periods for me. So yeah. I'm having freaking TWINS and I'm LOSING $400 a month. Like I said, we're gonna be poor. But--very happy.

7. We're working on the Badge Unit this week. My students design badges, make them with my badge-making machine, and then "sell" them to another class. This is my favorite one that my kids have made:

Not that they came up with it on their own or anything. I just really like it. I want one. Maybe I'll go make one and wear it on my lanyard. I only have one badge on my lanyard right now. It says, "I"m gestating TWINS. What have YOU done today?"

8. We went swimming the other day at my sister-in-law's mother's house. It was so nice to go to a private pool instead of a public one. Miraculously, my swimsuit actually fit me this pregnant. I'm pretty sure that's because I got it at Layne Bryant. Afton wouldn't do more than sit on the first step of the pool and splash. She was VERY upset when we put her in a floating waterlily, and when Trevor held her and carried her into the water. But she was content to sit on the step and have us blow water at her through one of those water wormy thingies. It was very cute. Thanks for inviting us, Becky!

Afton pretty much stayed in this spot as much as she could. She was happy there.

Trevor and his brother David try to coax Afton out on the lily pad. She may not look upset in this picture, but trust me, she is.

I wanted one with me in it, so Becky obliged.

This is Trevor getting after me for having the camera while I'm in the water. Yeah, as if I'd drop it! (Oh, good thing I didn't...)

9. This morning in the school announcments, something was wrong with the speaker and everyone who talked sounded like a Transformer. Only not quite as articulate as a real transformer, because you could only catch a few words. It was really annoying.

10. I went to the doctor last Friday for my 30-week visit. The doctor checked me and said my body is showing ZERO signs of going into labor or dialating or anything. So that's good news. He thinks I'll go full-term with these kids! And he won't schedule a c-section until I'm 38 weeks. So that's good news--they are going to be huge. I am going to be huge. Right now I'm the same size as I was at 9 months with Afton. But I don't mind. Its the only time in my life where I don't have to be guilty for being fat. And where I can pretty much eat what I want and not really gain weight. At this point, I've only gained 11 lbs! (that's because I gained all my pregnancy weight BEFORE I was pregnant...)

Update on my Nursery!!!

2011-05-09T16:53:00.000-07:00

So I have been having SO MUCH FUN with my baby nursery!! I feel bad I didn't go this crazy on Afton's room. I have a ton more done so I thought I'd post a few pictures. It's not completely done--there are two things I still need:

Blinds. They are ordered but won't be here until June 13! Urg! The room looks so UNFINISHED without them!
Lamp Base. I cannot believe how hard it is to find a good lamp base. I made a cute lamp shade, but I just want a medium sized white lamp base to use with it, and I can't find ANYTHING that doesn't already come with a shade and is what I want. So frustrating. Trevor is actually thinking of making one. So in the pictures, the shade is just sitting there without a base.

We spent the weekend making both quilts for my babies. I took Thursday off work and made Ripley's quilt with Trevor's help. It was so fun to work together on this project. I remember when we were dating we made the cloak for Trevor's Aragorn costume together. It was such a fun day, and we even talked about one day making costumes for our future children. (I was SO excited about that conversation...)

This was just like that. We work so well together when we sew together. We just figured out the pattern together. And whereas at first I was showing Trevor how to thread the needle and stuff, by the end he was trying to show me the same stuff! He actually has a knack for sewing, and whenever it calls for something super straight and perfect, I have him do it for sure!

So here we are sewing. Trevor is working on Ripley's quilt that Thursday. We didn't finish it that day--I had to figure out how to actually "quilt" it, since I didn't want to pay $40 to have someone else do it. Luckily my awesome machine came with a walking foot, which is required in order to do the quilting yourself. It made the whole process quite easy, actually!

Though, I really suck at sewing perfectly straight lines.

When Ripley's was all finished, I was ready to start Scarlett's on Saturday. I did most of hers by myself as I watched my sister's kids. Trevor helped out toward the end when I had to match the back on with the batting. And he sewed the edges around the whole quilt because I was scared to! All in all, I'm quite happy with out it turned out, though Scarlett's didn't wash very well. I have learned my lesson to ALWAYS

wash the material before you sew with it!

This is me on Sunday morning frantically trying to finish the quilt before church. I wanted to wash it while we were gone. Yes, I know I look horrible. But I don't care! What a perfect little mother I am on Mother's day, making a quilt for my baby girl! And how happy I was to finally get it DONE! I have tons of leftover material, so I'm still trying to think of ways to use it. I might even try making some baby clothes out of it, but sometimes leftover material doesn't work because there isn't enough to cut it the right direction. So we'll see.

Ok, here are some pictures of my baby room!

Isn't it adorable?? There's the finished quilt, and the bedding as Nicki and I made it. The picture on the wall is just something I printed off the internet, and I backed the matting with some leftover material. Scarlett's is a rose and Ripley's is a lily.

The letters of their names were really fun, and were a hybrid with digital scrapbooking. Here's how I did it.

First, I took the letter (wood, bought it from Hobby Lobby) and traced it on a piece of blank paper.

Then I scanned the paper into my computer and pulled it into Photoshop. I re-sized it to 8 1/2 x 11.
Then I pulled in the digital paper I wanted to use. I used the kit Ma Bebe from Dianne Rigdon--she created this kit for me when I requested someone to help me on the Two Peas in a Bucket digital scrapbooking forum. You can read all about it on my scrapblog here.
Then I just "punched" the letter out with the paper I wanted. Just did the magic wand tool on the scanned letter, then clicked on the paper layer and copied and pasted.
Next I used an action to create the painted look on the edge. See, a real paper scrapper would have done this with actual paint, but I didn't trust myself to get it even, so I did it digitally!
Then I printed it and cut it out.

Painted Scarlett's letters red and Ripley's letters green, though really all you will see if the paint is on the sides.
Then I used mod podge to glue the paper onto the front. After it dried, I used a light sanding block to sand the edges. I really liked how this made the edges look rough and more authentic. Then I mod podges over it again! That's it! A BIG thank you to my sister-in-law Andrea, who told me all about how to do this--I never would have known without her!
We hung them with nails, and Trevor did a great job tipping them from side to side so they looked really cute on the wall.

So then I had this REALLY old round table that my dad made. I've been using it as a nightstand forever. It used to have a different cloth cover on it, so I thought I'd made another one that matches the room decor. It was so easy! I just cut out the cloth, hemmed the edges, then sewed on the ribbon. But I used one of my fancy stitches that my machine does to make it look more embroidered. I was so glad to use one of those features--it's the kind of thing they show you when they are trying to sell you a machine, but in actuallity you never really use it.

And last is the lamp shade. This was easy--but not as easy as I thought it would be! I bought the shade at Joanne's, and it's made for this. You just peal off the outer layer, then use that as a pattern and cut out your material. Then you just stick it on the shade, which is covered with sticky paper. It was kinda hard to get it to line up just right, but it was nice to not have to sew anything. Then I used a glue gun to glue the ribbon on the top and bottom. So easy! Much easier than finding a stupid base for it!

Here's a shot from the other side of the room. I had to get the awesome closet that my dad put in for us! And it wasn't easy--apparently this closet used to be a doorway into what is now our upstairs bathroom and used to be the closet. Well, I guess that explains why that bathroom is the size of a closet. As you can see I've already started putting up their clothes and blankets. Man, I am SO nesting right now! And I still have eight weeks to go! But I feel more and more ready for the impossible task of raising twins with every little thing I add to this room. Maybe that's why I'm doing more for this room than I did for Afton's--I'm MUCH more terrified than I was then!

My Happy Little Girl

2011-05-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

This was my baby last night. I swear she was drunk. (But I promise she wasn't!) She gets that way when she's tired. But--it took FOREVER to get her to sleep after that, so maybe she wasn't tired. Maybe she's just obnoxious like her Momma.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My New Obsession!

2011-05-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

I am suddenly possessed with the desire to learn how to sew. Why has it taken me so long to do this, anyway? I know this feeling. When I get like this, I DO learn. It's like when, a few years ago, I got obsessed with digital scrapbooking. As soon as the bug really bit me, I was all over it. And now I've discovered--or I should say, re-discovered, sewing. This is my new project. Well, until the twins are born--then who knows waht I'll have time for. But they are part of the obsession--they are actually the reason for it. It's an amazing thing to just pick your fabric and do everything custom, they way YOU want to do it. And knowing that no one else in the world has the same thing you do. I want to make them clothes and fun things like that!

Yesterday was my birthday, and what I really, really wanted was my own sewing machine. This is what has stopped me from persuing this course in the past--I really wanted my own machine but they are so expensive! So we finally just bit the bullet and got one. THIS one. It's normally $400, but I got it for $300. Plus my in-laws helped pay for it so I really got it for less. Yay! Isn't it cute? I love it. Last night I was just messing with all the fun stitches it can do.

Looking back, I'm actually really surprised it took me this long to get into sewing. I showed an interest in it at about 5th grade. My mom showed me some basics, and then I was always sewing crappy Barbie clothes. I made skirts a lot--they were easy. My sister would make me some really cool clothes, and I loved them. I loved how you could use the more expensive, fun fabrics because you needed so little of it. I took sewing in 7th grade, as required in our state, and loved it. Then I took it again in high school, making an outfit that I actually wore a lot after that. So--with this interest--why didn't I just continue? Two of my sisters are very proficient seamstresses. Nicki helped me make my bedding for the twins. I am so jealous how, if she has an urge to make something, she just DOES. She can just buy a pattern or figure it out. I want to be able to do that! My other sister Cindy makes all kinds of cool stuff. She has a tutorial on her blog for making peti-skirts--I really want to learn to make them too! They are so cute! And so much better and cheaper to make yourself than to buy the crappy expensive ones in the store.

So now I am just full of ideas of what I want to try. Only--I need to learn how to read and follow a pattern! I know the basics about how to SEW, but sewing is a lot more than putting in the material and pressing the presser foot. How the crap do you follow a pattern? I look them over and it's familiar, but it's just been so long. I think I might make some simple baby clothes--then if I screw up, it's not very much material and oh well. I really ought to take a class, huh?

Trevor grumbles as he puts up the valance I made. Can't wait till the blinds come!

This weekend I made a valance for the baby room all by myself! It wasn't very hard--it was pretty much exactly the same as the dust ruffles we made, so I already had practice. But I was OH so proud of myself. Today I have a new project. I am going to cover a lamp shade with my own material. This won't require much sewing--at Joanne's you can get lamp shades that you just peel off the outside of the shade, use it for a pattern, then stick your material right on and line it with ribbon. Very easy. I'm so excited to go home and try it today! Then I'm making a simple table cloth-just a square peice, really, with hemmed edges, to go over the round table in the baby's room. And then--the quilts. I have the patterns for my quilts for the twins--but I am in NO WAY good enough to do them myself. So I'm gonna ask around for help on that one.

Recently the superintendant for another school district in my area released a statement that the new junior highs and high school in his district will not have sewing facilities. He feels learning to sew is a waste of time and isn't a skill necessary for those high-paying jobs out there--so why teach it? His exact words were:

“Our middle school students need to be spending much more time on core academics, especially science and mathematics. I do not see the benefit of requiring them to spend multiple days sewing dish-towel aprons and pajama pants.” ~Superintendant Doty

What a freaking idiot. This is a skill I am so glad that I learned. No, it may not contribute to my actual job, but it's something I can use all the time. I sure hope the new superintendant at our district is not this misguided!

A Sister's Helping Hand

2011-04-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

You know, I'm glad I'm having two girls. I'm glad I'm forming what my sister Cindy calls "A girl herd." I'm sure boys are great and all, but having grown up with four sisters, I know the power that sisters can have. I hope that I can raise my little girls to love and respect each other the way me and my sisters are. We aren't competitive. We don't compare or have drama or get jealous. We are just genuinely happy for each other and celebrate each other's successes. How exactly this came about, I am not sure. Girls are naturally competitive and drama-filled. But somehow, we missed that memo. I hope that when my girls are grown, they will have each other for support the way my sisters are for me. It seems like each sister has their area of expertise, and when you need something, ONE of them will be able to help you.

This is what happened this last week. With the coming of my babies, I knew I needed to purchase bedding for each baby. I didn't want to re-use Afton's bedding, since I really wanted a nursery that was for THEM. (Having been the fifth daughter, I know the joy of hand-me-downs.) I wasn't sure what colors I wanted to do the room in, until we decided to name the second baby Scarlett. And then I was like--well, you can't do anything but red with a name like that, can you? But what goes with red? I did some searches online for red, green, and white baby bedding. It's a tricky color scheme because you don't want to look Christmasy. But I loved the colors. In my search I found this:

I LOVED it. But what I didn't love was the price. This sucker costs $430. And I would need to buy TWO. Not a possibility. But I couldn't find anything else remotely similar with those colors. And I really wanted those colors!

Which sister's expertise did I draw on? Well, first I went to Nicki. And she was so freaking awesome about it. Like all Nielson sisters, Nicki loves a project. We are definatley a hobby-project type of family. We all five of us have hobbies and are always working on some kind of project. Sewing is just one of Nicki's. I also talked to my sister Cindy, who is also an accomplished seamstress. Unfortunately, this time of year is rather crazy for her, since she works for the Water Conservency District AND she does consults for people's yards. Spring is crazy. So she was not able to actually help sew--though she did help me plan material and she found me the patterns to use. After Cindy and I went to a few stores, I ended up buying most of the material online at fabric.com, and Cindy we great helping me decide which was best. I obviously couldn't match it perfectly or even very closely, but was happy with what I found.

I was just so glad though, that my sisters were so willing to help me make bedding for my girls. For sewing is NOT in my comfort zone. I have sewn before and I'm not all that bad at it, but I don't have a machine and I haven't sewn anything in years. The last project was the peti-skirts for my ballroom kids--a HUGE undertaking that Cindy took on. She made TEN of thsoe pink and black skirts, teenager size. It was A LOT! I did some of the sewing, but most was Cindy.

Anyway, So this weekend, Nicki and I set to work. We spent to 8-hour days sewing. Mom helped out the second day by taking our kids--which was MUCH appreciated. Nicki did the hard part--figuring out the pattern, cutting the fabric, and pinning it. I did most the sewing which, it turns out, is actually the easiest part. We Ripley's bumpers the first day, and got the cording done for Scarlett's that day, too.

Nicki and I sewing like crazy on Ripley's bedding. Photo compliments of Bethany, Cindy's daughter, who saved our bacon the first day by watching our kids! We love you, Bep!

On day 2, Mom took our kids, and Nicki and I had a quiet morning finishing Scarlett's bedding, and then working on the dust ruffles for both.

We did the bedding different for each girl, but the dust ruffle was the same.

Completed baby bedding! I admit we were hugging excitedly when we got them done! We were so pleased with how they turned out!

Scarlett's bedding after we completed the dust ruffles. Aren't they cute? Think I'll make a valance just like it!

So the next day we got Nicki's crib that she didn't need anymore, and set it up in the nursury. I like how each bed is similar, but different--that's how I want to see my girls, whether they are identical or not.

Scarlett's Bed

Ripley's Bed

There's still a lot more to do in the room before it's ready. Trevor spent a good month repainting, putting up beadboard, adding crown molding and a chair rail, and of course, putting in that awesome laminate flooring which we LOVE and is SO much cheaper and more practical than carpet! Now my Dad is making the shelving for the closet, and my awesome sister Aundi is going to cross-stitch some wall hangings (she's SO good at it) and my sister-in-law Andrea will help me with using wooden blocks to put their names on the wall. It's going to be so cute! I love it!

Again, I am so grateful for my family. I have so much support and help. I could never have done this without Nicki, who was willing to devote two entire days during her Easter break to help me. I am truly blessed. I hope my girls love each other as much as I love my sisters!

My April Fool's Joke

2011-04-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

So when I was a new teacher I was so freakin' cool. I did the funniest coolest things. But as the years go by I get less cool and less fun. I feel bad about that. I miss that impish desire I used to have to do fun things with my kids. I mean, I'm still fun and cool, but not AS fun and cool. But today--today I redeemed myself. Man, I am so freaking awesome. So here is the story of the most awesome and mean April Fool's joke I ever played! (Actually, I think this is the only April Fool's joke I've ever played.)

Ok. Some background. Today I had scheduled the test for Computer Basics in my 9th grade Computer Technology class. This is the most tedius section I teach, with lots of vocab like "RAM" and "Storage" and "IP Addresses." You know, stuff like that. I had the test all written and ready to go, using the UTIPS website. This site allows me to create an online test--they take the test online, then submit it to me and get an immediate score. Anyway, this morning I had an email from a parent saying how his daughter was worried about the test because she was not allowed to take home her packet yesterday (my aide was in the middle of grading them). I realized he was right--it wouldn't be fair to test them today--they really needed another day to study. I emailed the dad and said the test had been moved to Monday. But what to do today?

Then she got an idea! An awful idea! THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

I would still give them a test today. I would just...mess with them. I then spent 30 minutes throughout the morning creating a new 25-question test. The first three or four questions were normal and exactly out of the real test. And then I did a few questions where the right answer was NOT one of the ones listed. Or where all four answers were correct. Then I found some computer vocab words that were not part of the unit and put those in. I did some really mean questions on obscure stuff that I had mentioned in class but was too nit-picky to test on. My personal favorite was, "List the six steps of the boot process."

And then it wound up with these final questions:

21. What is Mrs. Rees naming her twins?
22. Who is the coolest teacher at our school?
A. Mrs. Rees
B. Megan Rees
C. Afton's Mom (right answer)
D. The teacher formerly known as Miss Nielson
23. 200 words or less, please describe what makes Mrs. Rees so amazing, and how you would like to emulate her in the future.
24. What day is it today?
25. In 200 words or less, please explain why this test should not count on your grade.

I also had to find that girl whose dad emailed me this morning and make sure she didn't rat me out. I called her down to my room 1st period and asked her if her dad told her she wasn't taking a test today, which he had, and then I told her what I was going to do and told her to keep it quiet. She thought it was hilarious.

I was SO excited when my 5th period came in. This class has a lot of really intelligent straight-A students in it. And they were all STRESSED. They were so worried that they wouldn't pass. I played it so cool. One girl commented afterwards that she didn't suspect a thing with the way I acted. I told them to do their best, that if they thought a question wasn't fair, the software allows me to throw out any question that all the kids struggle on. And then they got started.

I tell you, I was worried. They were SO stressed. It was sad but hilarious to watch them stressing out as they took the test. To watch them deliberate forever over the answers, looking for the answer they were sure was right, but wasn't there. I was like, "Oh no! They are NOT going to think this is funny!" I wondered how they'd react once they figured it out. Here's what's funny--when the kids started to get to the giveaway questions at the end, they didn't say anything. They actually started writing the essay! I was just trying not to laugh out loud--I thought for sure SOMEONE would yell out, "Stop everyone! It's not a real test!" But no! They laughed to themselves but let their fellow students sweat it out! Other kids started to wonder why they were laughing, but STILL no one said anything! Finally I said, "If you are still struggling, you might want to skip ahead to the last five questions," and then everyone was starting to laugh and I yelled "April Fools!"

Man, I love my 5th period. Despite what I had just put them through, they thought it was so freaking funny. We went over the test and I pointed out what I won't test them on so they don't stress. And I reminded them that if they were frustrated, that means that they really DO know this stuff. And that, of course, there would be a REAL test on Monday with 50 questions--all of them with the correct answers among the multiple choice.

So, looking over their tests, here are some of the answers to their essay questions:
"First of all, the name Megan starts with an "M", and magnificent starts with the letter "M". So does the word "Megadeth" and " Metallica" which are pretty magnificent, too. Mrs. Rees is also amazing because she is humorous and smart and good looking and stuff. That's kind of kreepy... "

Mrs. Rees has a passion for creating a more knowledgable future of America. She does a great job at enlightening us on the joys of the computer and it's technology, while keeping us entertained.

Well, Mrs. Rees is giving us funny questions hopefully to make up for the terrible quiz that she just had us take. I'm pretty sure that I failed the test, so hopefully these weird questions will make up for it. .

"Well, She is very out going and not like other teachers! She makes class fun even if its supposed to be boring."

She is super funny and always seems to be able to turn something boring into something fun. She has questions like these and can make people laugh.

Well there are many reasons why Mrs. Rees is so amazing. One reason is the fact that the other teachers just don't compare to her. Another reason is that she teaches a decently fun class. Also she is a really funny teacher. this is shown pretty well by the test.

What makes Mrs. Rees so amazing is how funny she is. I love how she can make the subject computer tech so exciting. She's a cool teacher, with a cool personality. Like this test right here, this is what makes her so amazing. Like how awesome is that.

I love how Mrs Rees teaches. She is always giving us examples and letting us see visual examples. She's funny and she's always more than willing to help you out. She's in a pretty good mood for having twins. She's fun to be around, and she's pretty I mean computer nerds usually arn't.

This one is my favorite:

Mrs. Rees is the all knowing computer genius that is like fourty times better then other teachers in every single way. She is very wonderful and beautiful and deserves the best teacher award. By being so great she has cured cancer and aids just by walking into a room.

And this one:

Mrs. Rees is pretty epically awesome! She just is the BEST!! She knows how to really teach the leaders of the future. She's funny and supersmart. Why is Mrs. Rees so amazing? She likes me, that's why. She makes even the most boring topics fun. I know that in the future when I become president of the world (because of her) I am going to make a shrine dedicated to her! She knows how to bring computer class to life!!!!!!!!! She's just cool!!!! I am going to worship her!!

Ok, is this a little ego building? Sure. But it's friggin' hilarious.

Toys instead of Tupperware

2011-03-15T22:41:00.000-07:00

We had a little get-together for Afton's 2nd birthday tonight. Man, that kid is just CUTE. Sorry, but she really is. I'm trying to be un-biased here. I know every mom thinks their kid is really cute. BUT MINE REALLY IS! What I loved is how she "got" it. She opened her presents, grinned when we sang to her, blew out the candles, even tried to "read" a card she got. She was just in her element. And she'd been ornery right before everyone got there. Soon as she realized this was HER day and everyone was there for HER, she just totally ate it up.

Trevor made her this cake.

I thought he did a pretty freakin' awesome job. He's never really made a cake before, but he's so detail-oriented, this kind of thing was right up his alley. I mean, how hard can it be after making a batmobile ? And what about this shield he made for my nephew for Halloween, which, unbelievably, I never blogged about? Needless to say, a little old cake wasn't going to phase him. I guarantee you if I made it, it never would haved looked near this cool.

And I loved how she seemed so grateful and excited about each of her presents. Even cards were appreciated. She LOVES her new doll, and is currently sleeping with it in her little bed, with this darling rabbit pillow and blanket, so soft, that her Aunt Andrea got her. She got a tricycle from my parents, and will be getting a table and chairs next week from them, too. She loved her magna-doodle, her new little board books and puzzles. And oh, she LOVES the slide we got her. I'm thinking, maybe this kid will finally play with TOYS instead of my TUPPERWARE. Maybe she'll play by herself. What a concept.

Anyway, I posted some video of her on Facebook, but it's been a long time since I put a video on my blog, and I can't access FB at work, so it's nice to have it here so I can show her off! My students love to see videos! (ok, I don't show it to ALL of them, just the fawning 9th grade girls that ask...)

The Best Years

2011-03-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

I was talking to my mom the other day, and she was talking about a girl she knew in high school. "She's one of those people," Mom said, "whose best years were in high school." There are a lot of people like that, I suppose. It kind of throws me, because although my high school years weren't horrible, they most certainly weren't my best. It's kind of payback for us "normal" people, I guess, to see those popular kids from high school flounder when the glory is gone and they have to stand on their own two feet. But then I asked myself, "When were my best years?" And I realized--RIGHT NOW! I said as much to my mother, who also agreed that she was now in her best years.

And then it hit me--isn't that the whole secret to being happy? That no matter where you are in life, you are currently in your best years? I look back at my life, and although there are some dark spots I'd never relive, much of my life WAS my best years at the time. College was a revelation and I loved it. My mission was hard but was a beautiful experience. Being single--well that sucked. No question. But still--I wasn't miserable. I grew and learned a lot during that time, and wouldn't trade it. How glad I am that I had a chance to get to know myself and try new things and travel before I married, so I knew I hadn't missed anything.

And now I'm a young mom and soon will be busier than I've ever imagined in my life. But I'm most assuredly in my best years. When your little girl suddenly stops playing, climbs up on your lap, gives you a kiss and says, "Iluhyou!" THAT is your best years. When you watch your little twins moving around on the screen, healthy and strong--THAT is your best years. When you snuggle into bed next to the man you love more than anything, who actually, miraculously, loves you back, THAT is your best years. But then life moves on and changes. When my last child is off to Kindergarten, won't that be my best year? When I see them all off to college and Trevor and I are on our own to do whatever we please--won't THAT be our best year?

I think the secret is being happy with wherever you are, with whatever you have, and not allowing yourself to dwell too much on what you DON'T have. I caught myself thinking the other day, "Man, I'm so tired of having NOTHING." I was thinking of all the repairs and upgrades I wanted to do on my house, and how there was no way I'd ever be able to afford it for years and years. And then I just laughed at myself. I have NOTHING? Really? With my husband, my babies, and my home? I have everything. Everything that really matters.

I hope this post doesn't sound too braggy. I have my problems same as anyone. But I think we can all be so grateful with the lot we have in life. Have the courage to change what we can, accept what we can't, and just be happy with what we've got. I need to re-read this post next time I feel depressed about the looming responsibilities I am about to take on when the twins arrive--and I DO feel depressed about that, and the fact that it will be years before Trevor is through with school and we have financial security. And that I will probably always be a working mom and never stay home with my children. And that I'm kinda fat. (One thing I love about pregnancy is a 9-month hiatus from feeling guilty about being fat!) Life is good. I'm a happy woman. And I hope I always will be, no matter what happens.

The Check List

2011-02-20T19:22:00.000-08:00

It's amazing what you will do during church to stay awake. Other than, you know, actually listen to the speakers. In the past, Trevor and I have come up with some good ones. I'd draw a head. Then he'd draw the eyes. Then I'd draw the nose...and we'd end up with some funny stuff. Or we'd play the name game--I'd write down a name, then he'd write one down, and then, Utah-style, we'd combine it into one name and ask ourselves, "Should we name our future kid that?" That's how we got the name "Catheter" out of Catherine and Peter. No. We are not naming of our twins Catheter. When we bought our house, we started making a list of all the things we wanted for it, big or small, just to dream about it. I even pulled that list out later on and checked it, to remind myself what we needed.

Well, we don't get quite as bored in church anymore. Afton keeps it--well, very lively. BUT, today she played with our next door neighbor through most of church and was actually well-behaved (WHY is she so good for everyone else and not for US??) so we started another list. And that is actually what I'm blogging about, despite my rambling and lengthy entry.

THINGS WE NEED FOR OUR TWINS:

Bedding (what colors are we doing?)
A name for baby #2 (What do you think about Scarlett? And if we choose Scarlett, won't one of the colors for the nursery HAVE to be red?)
A light fixture for the nursery
A lamp and hamper for the nursery
2nd baby bouncer
Another carseat (CHECK! And all three carseats DO fit in the back seat of the car!!!)
Two more bases for said carseats so they can go in both cars
A new baby monitor (since our old one SUCKS and doesn't work)
A twin stroller (Is this really a necessity, seeing as a decent double stroller is at least $250?)
A second crib (Borrow from the Cox's?)
A diaper jenie--one just isn't going to cut it anymore with three in diapers
MONEY FOR ALL THIS STUFF!!!

And then of course there's

How are we going to rearrange pretty much every peice of furnature we own to make it all work?

And...What do we need to prepare AFTON for?

Get rid of the binki
Get rid of bottles
Get her in a big kid bed
Get her as close to potty trained as possible
Give her twin dolls to take care of in preparation

Well. It's overwhelming. And since the chances of having my twins early is higher than with a singleton, I really want to be as ready as possible by May. Not much time! This weekend we managed to get a second car seat and get it installed, thus answering the question--do we need to buy a van or can we get by with our cars? And tonight we also started our "growing Afton up" campaign where we moved her to a toddler bed.

So we took down her crib. We re-arranged the furniture. We decided the bottle and binki would have to come after we got her used to her new bed. She was SO tired tonight because, since we have 1:00 church (otherwise known as HELL) she never took a nap. She was very antsy while Daddy took down the bed and we rearranged and vacuumed everything. She was VERY excited about her bed. She turned on her little sound machine herself. She happily crawled into bed when it was time and took her bottle and binki. We turned out the lights.

AND SHE IS SLEEPING.

Is it really that easy? Or are we just lucky tonight? Or is this just one thing that might just go our way? Hooray for my little girl! At least for tonight! What should we do next??

A Nielson Girl Through and Through

2011-02-02T06:56:00.000-08:00

My mother had five daughters in seven years. I always knew me and my sisters were close in age, but it wasn't until I became a mother myself that I realized a little more fully the horror my mother must have felt when she found out she was pregnant AGAIN. I remember holding Afton when she was four months old thinking, "My sister Nicki was this old when Mom found out she was pregnant with me. Horrors!" I couldn't imagine being pregnant at that moment--I would have been absolutely flabbergasted to find out I was.

My mother didn't intend to have five girls so quickly. I don't think any of us were really "planned." It reminds me of a quote from Homer Simpson, "You don't plan to have children. They just happen!" Yes, I know this is not true for all women--but it appears to be for Nielson women.

We got pregnant with these babies on our first try, the first month. It was the same with Afton. When I found out I was pregnant--still not totally sure I wanted to be--I said, "The only reason I don't have five children by now is that birth control is better than it was in the 70's!" I know that I were in the 70's, I would be just like my mother and have kids that fast. I'm a Nielson girl that way.

Well, I'm a Nielson girl in another way. I wonder what my mother thought when she gave birth to especially her last three of us--and it was ANOTHER GIRL. I know she didn't even have a boy name chosen for me, her last, and unplanned, daughter. She had accepted her fate by then. My sister Aundi is the same way--four daughters, and she was just as fully prepared on the fourth that she would probably never have a son.

And so it is with me. I am truly a Nielson girl through and through. I found out yesterday that my twins are BOTH girls. Now I'll have THREE girls!

My feelings on this are mixed.

On one hand, I've actually always said that I could see myself with all girls. That I'd be much more upset to have all boys and no daughter, than all daughters and no son. And although you continuously hear "boys are easier" I'm not so sure this is true for me. I grew up with girls. I "get" girls, whereas boys are a complete unknown to me. I am not very good at playing with boys. I don't really understand them very well. And really, what's cuter than twin girls? I love the idea of having three little girls. I love picturing Trevor with his little girls. Last night he was playing barbies with Afton and it was the cutest thing ever.

On the other hand, it puts us in a difficult position. Trevor really does want a son. And now we have to make one of two very difficult choices: Accept that this is our last pregnancy and not ever have a son, or, have another pregnancy and HOPE that we get a boy. I know--I'm not the first to have to make such a decision. It's as common as...cheese. But, my age does complicate things. I couldn't even THINK about getting pregnant again until I'm 35 or 36, and that scares the crap out of me. So many more things can go wrong. And I'd be changing diapers at 38. And my kids wouldn't be out of the house until I'm like 55. And I would most likely be like my sister Aundi and get a 4th girl anyway. But then--four girls! That would be SO cute!

Anyway, yes. I'm having two girls. We don't even have a second girl name picked out! For some reason, I just didn't think I was going to get two girls. And now I'm feeling so guilty, as if I didn't want this second girl that I don't even have a name for her. I want to choose one quickly--she deserves a name and she is very much wanted!! But choosing a name is really hard--Trevor is so freaking picky and he doesn't like ANYTHING. And he won't BUDGE on Ripley. That is a set thing. I like it a lot, but I'd change it if I thought of something I liked better. Well, there's my thoughts on having two little girls. But oh! I can't wait to buy twin clothes for them! Whether they are identical or not (and they probably aren't but we don't know) I will OCCASIONALLY dress them the same. But not all the time.

And let me very clear--as much as I wanted a boy for the sake of my husband--I VERY MUCH want BOTH of my little girls!! We BOTH do!

Un-Friended

2011-01-20T20:55:00.000-08:00

Yes everyone. I have been unfriended. My friendship has been denied. I have been handed my boarding pass and booted out the door. I stand, unable to respond, unable to speak, unable to defend myself. I am UN-FRIENDED. And as I cannot defend myself to the offended party, I will rant on my public blog instead.

Ah, the un-friend. Is there any greater social slap on the hand than the dreaded UN-FRIEND? You know, it's funny how, it really takes very little for most people to add someone as a friend on Facebook.

"I knew her in 4th grade!"
"We had a class together in 1983!"
"He was my roommate's cousins' brother's dog!"
"She's my husband's cousin's wife whom he doesn't really know and I've never actually met and don't know either of them!"

But although very little thought may go into ADDING a friend, a great DEAL of thought goes into deleting one. It's the ultimate cut-off. All of sudden--THEY ARE GONE. And you cannot add them again. (well, sometimes you can, unless they get REALLY nasty and block you) And you can't defend yourself. You can't say you're sorry or explain. It's just over. It's like, way ruder than real life. Cause, of course, you aren't good enough friends where you actually call each other and can use the phone. So just like that, you have lost a previously unnoticed and unvalued friend. And there's nothing you can do about it. Why is this so annoying?

Now--there is always the weeding out process. That's when you go through your list and get rid of people that you never talk to and don't care about. You probably don't even notice if you are weeded out. Or maybe one day you get a friend request from someone and you are like, "Aren't we already friends?"

No, this is the personal "You have offended me/I don't like you/You suck" kind of unfriend that is, surprisingly, painful. Even though you may not know this person well, may never have talked to them in person or at least not for a long time, and never would have missed them if you had never become friends on Facebook in the first place, you are still a little hurt that they thought ill of you enough to personally un-friend you. I have un-friended for the same reasons--and it's actually kind of an emotional thing. You are literally writing someone off forever. And you can't undo it. And it's SO EASY to do.

Sadly, this is not the first time it's happened to me. I tend to get in trouble on Facebook--the teacher in me just goes crazy when people are stupid about some of their status updates. Seriously, if I had had access to Facebook in high school, I shudder to think of the drama that would have ensued. If I, at the age of 32, can find drama on Facebook now, what would it have been like at 15? No, I get in trouble over foul language. If I see it on a status update I will usually call them on it. Its a pet peeve of mine. It kinda bugs me that people don't seem to know or care that EVERYONE can see their status. I mean, shouldn't you censor yourself a LITTLE bit?

Anyway, I actually feel really bad about it. But, like I said, there is nothing I can do but ponder the social effects of friending and un-friending virtual strangers, and wonder how someone to completely unconnected to me, who knows little about my life and means very little to me personally, could make me feel so bad.

Upside Down

2011-01-04T12:39:00.000-08:00

Ever have your life turn completely upside down? I have a tendency to picture my future--I plan it all in very careful steps. I know, of course, that it may not happen that way. But I was not prepared for it to completely change like it has over the last few months. I had planned when school would be over, when each child would be born, when I would be able to quit and stay home. But...well, then this stuff happened:

1. I get pregnant. Yes, I allowed it to happen--I opened the door of possibility the TINIEST crack--and, being a Nielson girl, of course that was all it took.

2. Then I find out that not only am I pregnant, but I'm expecting twins. I can't even begin to describe how this has thrown my world--and my vision of my future--into a tailspin. Of COURSE I'm excited, but there are so many things to consider physically, financially, and emotionally with these little ones that I still haven't quite stopped spinning from the shock.

AND NOW....

3. The newest shock to my system: Trevor can't start nursing school until 2011. We thought he'd be starting this summer. He'll have all his prequisites finished after spring semester. But, apparently, that's not soon enough. We just found out that in order to start this summer, he'd have to have all classes finished and posted by December. We are one semester off. If the stupid program started in the FALL instead of the SUMMER, like every other program known to man, we would have been fine. Instead, we are faced with the fact that we have to wait a WHOLE YEAR before he can even START his two-year nursing program. In other words, it will be THREE YEARS before we have any level of financial security.

This news made me totally cry. I have been so stressed, trying to figure out how we can afford these twins and manage for two whole years with all the extra expense and no additional income--and now it's going to be three years. One more baby than we planned, one more year than we planned--yes, my world is definately upside down.

I love my mom. When I called to tell her my devastating news, her response was instant: "What a blessing!" she chimed. HUH? But then she pointed out that now, the first year of our twins lives won't be so stressful if Trevor isn't in school. It gives us a year together with a little more time for our little ones. We might even be able to have Trevor home two days and save on daycare, or maybe he can work another job. Whatever we decide, it does, in some ways, take off some stress. On the other hand, it pretty much gaurantees that I will never, ever be a stay-at-home mom. By the time Trevor is done, the twins will be three. What's the point, then? They'll be ready for school so soon, and Afton will be in Kindergarten. Man, that sounds so far away.

Well, that's life I guess. You can't always plan everything. But man, if you'd told me this was where my life would be four months ago I would never have believed it.

Christmas 2010

2010-12-30T08:11:00.000-08:00

I guess I might as well do my annual Christmas post. We had a great Christmas! As always, our Christmas is divided into three--we spend a few moments opening a few gifts at our house, then we go to my parents and open more, then we go to Trevor's parents and open TONS. That part takes about two hours! I really like this setup--though I'm sure as my kids get older it won't continue to work. Anyway, on Christmas Eve Trevor sent me upstairs to bed while he "got a few things ready" and it took him forever. I had no idea what he's up to, but when he came upstairs at last he said, "MUAHAHAHAH!!" So I knew he was up to something.

When I carried Afton down the next morning, Trevor was standing there with a camera, and this is what I saw:

Really? He got a digital TV? I was so excited! In hindsight, I'm pretty surprised I didn't see it coming.

Trevor talked getting one non-stop and then suddenly seemed to "drop it." He never drops it. I should have known that meant he already bought one.
Usually we don't look at the credit card bill items until after Christmas so we are sure to surprise each other, but I noticed the bill was much higher than I expected and I thought there might be fraud on our account. But when I asked Trevor about it, he said, "Don't worry about it."
I did, after all, tell him that if he found one from under a certain price, to go ahead and get it. I just believed him when he said he didn't find one. Hmmm...

I think I am purposely obtuse when it comes to Christmas. I want to be surpised so bad I don't let myself think about anything!

I think that Christmas morning at our house was actually my favorite part of the day. Afton was so cute and so excited for each present. She "got it" when it came to unwrapping presents--this year, more excited about the gift than the box and paper! She wasn't yet overloaded by too my presents or distracted by the cat or her other toys. It was so fun.

We then headed to my Mom's, where we had, as usual, a quiet, humble, and practical Christmas. Trevor grew up in a home where there was more disposable income than mine. For his family, Christmas is about getting what you want. My mother is always practical--I totally get it from her. Although we still got things we wanted for Christmas, we also got what we needed. It was a very nice morning. Afton was so darn cute!

We had the traditional quiche that I make, and then we headed to Trevor's family by 11:00. This is a HUGE Christmas. Trevor's dad pretty much goes nuts over the holidays, and Trevor has inherited this. We had a nice big lunch, and then started on the gifts. Both Trevor's siblings are there with their kids, so there's a lot of us, and it takes a while to get through everything. But oh, it is so fun!

Afton immediately made a bee-line to her princess couch, and she and Madison sat on it a lot. It's pretty much her favorite gift. It's in front of the TV now, and she loves to pull it out like a bed and watch movies while she eats her "nacks." (fruit snacks)

Afton wasn't too happy about getting this family photo taken after all the presents are open!

I surprised Trevor, too. I got him the chainsaw he wanted really really bad. I totally splurged. Unfortunately, he totally splurged too. So we both broke our budget rules, had an awesome Christmas, and will now spend the next six months or so trying to get that damn credit card paid off before the twins get here!

It's strange to think about next year's Christmas. I will have THREE FREAKING KIDS! I just can't imagine that. The twins will be about 5-6 months old. So strange. I think next year we'll HAVE to stay in our budget rules no matter what!

Reality Begins...Tomorrow...

2010-12-05T18:01:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here on the eve of reality, and I'm not liking it one bit. When I think of everything I have to do tomorrow, and the day after that, and for the next few YEARS, I am so completely overwhelmed. On December 1st Trevor and I were due to fly to Las Vegas for a conference for my work. It made sense to schedule our first appointment with the doctor that day since we are both home. Oh how glad I am that Trevor was there with me at that appointment!

As you know, the doctor informed us that we are having twins.

And then we embarked on a four-day vacation in the most unrealistic of cities, Las Vegas. The last few days have been a whirl. We keep looking at eachother and mouthing, "twins!" because we can hardly believe it. In Vegas we told loads of people about our exciting news--complete strangers--because it never gets old. People are always so excited and delighted for you. We went out to eat, walked the strip, attended museums, and had a fabulous time. During the day I went to the conference, and in the evening Trevor and Adam, (the husband of another teacher who went with us, about the same age) hung out all day at the strip.

We knew, of course, that when we got home we'd have to face the reality of our situation. We'd have to sit down and hammer out the finances, and figure out exactly how screwed we are--and yes, we ARE screwed. There is no possible way we can afford these babies without help. Would I change it? Oh no. I'm absolutely ennamored of these babies already! But still, the practical side of me kept reminding me that coming home would be difficult. I'd come home to laundry, dishes, and ornery (but adorable) baby, three days of missing work and students to catch up, straightening out our finances after the trip, figuring out how to get a new key cut for my Toyota--which WILL NOT start with the key now (a fact we learned at the SLC airport. 20 minutes of trying before it finally turned. ) And of course, the reality that we REALLY ARE having twins. That Trevor is starting nursing school the same month they will be born, and will be working and going to school for two years. That our daycare is going to go from $260 a month to at least $600 (if we are lucky), and that there is no visible way of lowering our monthly expenses without taking out tons of student loans. I had planned, of course, on winning a million dollars at the slot machines, but about $10 later it hadn't happened so I gave up.

But that's tomorrow. Tonight is Sunday. I've got laundry in. The dishwasher is running. Trevor is playing with an obnoxious and demanding Afton downstairs. I don't want to think about the daunting task of paying for and taking care of three children under three. I want to pray that they will be both be born healthy and on time. I want to imagine holding their tiny little bodies against me and know that here is the rest of my family, in one neat little package. I want to hope that my body can handle this, that I can carry them to term and give birth as easily as possible. Is that too much to ask? Can't I just focus on the joy of being a twin mom, of knowing that the Lord has trusted me with these tiny little spirits? Can I let go and just let the Lord help me find a way to make it all possible? It seems completely impossible right now. I am trying very hard not to freak out completely. I had it all planned out--and this was not the plan at all. And now I have to rely completely on faith. And the charity of friends and neighbors and the United States Government. But despite the stress and the edge of hysteria, not to mention the double morning sickness, I am happy about it all. We'll find a way to make it work. They are coming--and we are going to be ready for them!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words. (Or dollars)

2010-12-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

A Thanksgiving Video

2010-11-26T15:34:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving this year was at my sister Aundi's house. As always when the Nielson family gets together, it was complete and utter CHOAS!! First we stopped at Trevor's parents, just to say high and give his parents a Thanksgiving gift. It was so quiet. So ordered. And they we get to Aundi's and it was a MADHOUSE. I actually really like this about both sides of our family--both atmospheres are great and have their advantages. Unfortunately, I didn't take many pictures. Grrr! Getting my family to sit still long enough to listen to anything is pretty much impossible. At Trevor's house, we were able to quickly gather round and present his parents with their copy of "I'm Grateful For..." A book I made from Afton to her Grandparents on Thanksgiving day. At Aundi's, we finally gave it to Mom during dessert. (Which, by the way, was FAB-U-LOUS. Cindy made these adorable mini desserts! SO GOOD! I love how she doesn't just make delicious and original desserts--they always LOOK to good!)

Anyway, we finally gave Mom her own copy of the book, and she began to read it aloud. No one really listened except Dad and Jen and Rusty and Cindy--who was video taping the whole thing!

So, here is an exerpt of the video. If you want to see the book, click here!

Random Thoughts During Dancing with the Stars

2010-11-23T20:41:00.000-08:00

I've been a little "slumpy" lately. Can't think of a darn thing to write on either of my blogs. I'm just blah. So I'm sitting here watching Dancing with the Stars, and a lot of thoughts are running madly through my head. Here they are. Enjoy.

1. Why is Christina Aguillera performing on this show? What does she have to do with anything? And why is her face plastic? Hmmm...I think I'll go post that thought on Facebook.
2. I am SO SURE that Jordan District won't cancel school tomorrow. That would be a COOL thing to do, and everyone knows we aren't the "cool" district. Canyons is. That's why they already have this week off. Granted, at the expense of their teachers, but I'm still jealous.
3. How on earth is Bristol Palin still in this competition? I've admired watching her grow in this competition, but if she wins, that just bites.
4. Is that Afton crying? Maybe if I ignore it it will go away....it went away...
5. I am so disappointed in this blizzard. I wanted it to be REALLY REALLY AWFUL! We didn't even have the lights go out. That sucks.
6. Why do people still watch The Bachelor? (during a Bachelor commercial.)
7. What does "pickle me walnuts" mean, Len? (DWTS judge)
8. I love Harry Potter. I'm reading book 4. I want to read it instead of watching this endless finale. Seriously--this is the LONGEST finale. AND, I missed the first hour! What the!
9. That outfit that Lacey Schwimmer has on is the ugliest she's had all season. And that's saying something.
10. I really, really hate "The Situation." Seriously, I want to punch his big fat ugly pompous face. Like really bad. I hate him. I hate him SO DARN BAD.
11. Just give Jennifer Gray the trophy already. I'd rather be reading Harry Potter or playing the sims. Why am I watching this?
12. Open breaks? You are doing just boring old OPEN BREAKS? Come on, Lacey and Kyle, you can do better than that.

That is all.

Two Little Girls + Diaper Cream = TROUBLE.

2010-11-08T16:37:00.000-08:00

I went to pick up my little girl today at Grandma Rees's, and found there was QUITE a story. An "incident" as Karen called it. Afton and her cousin Madison, 16 months her senior, apparently had a few unsupervised moments with a brand new tin of Penaten, a diaper cream that Karen uses.

The results, of course, were both disastrous and hilarious. My father-in-law got home just after it happened and, thankfully, managed to grab a camera between burst of laughter. Unfortunately, Afton's face had already been mostly wiped off, though Karen says it looked pretty much like Madison's. It was EVERWHERE. In her hair, her eyes, even her nostrils!

Karen was swabbing it out of her nose, her eyes, and it was all over! She gave them both baths and had to wash Afton's hair three times! And it's STILL a little greasy! Those little stinkers!

I think it's hilarous! And SO glad it didn't happen during MY watch!

Not Cool Anymore

2010-10-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

You know what? I'm not cool anymore.

I am totally lame. I'm just a mean, tired, OLD junior high teacher. I'm the one who yells at them in the hallway for swearing. I'm the one that doesn't dress up for Halloween, and won't join in the fun at school dances. When did this happen to me?

As a first year teacher, I was so friggin' awesome. I had so much joy and love for what I did--I still do, but just not in the same way. Man, the stuff I did when I was new at this. I just played with the kids. Like when I'd pull out my big red plastic bat and have kids pitch wads of paper at me so I could hit it around the room. Or the time I snuck a picture of Mr. Barton, then Photoshopped him (with students watching) to look all fat, then printed 40 copies and let the kids make paper airplanes out of it. Then we chucked them in his room. I was funny. I'd read the announcements in accents. My whole class stuffed into my back room to hide from another teacher. We turned all Barton's desks upside down while he was at lunch, then he pennied my door and we couldn't open it. Every period was stand up commedian time, and I loved it.

I don't do any of that anymore. I could, I know, but I don't really feel like it. On Thursday I had an Auction with my CTE Intro kids, and somehow I was just in this hyper mood. I was cracking jokes right and left. And they all laughed their heads off and had no idea who this new teacher was. Am I really that boring? Have I lost something here? I mean, how long can you be the funny cool teacher? Isn't there a point where you are just too old to pull it off?

I usually love Halloween at school, though the other teachers hate it. I dress up. I join the kids dancing. Usually I have my ballroom kids there and I dance a couple of swings. Trevor used to come too, both of us in costume. But today? Today was awful. The kids were obnoxious. I didn't dress up. I don't do ballroom anymore, so there were no boys trained to dance. (And, might I add, that when I DID do ballroom, kids actually danced at the dances. Once a few of my kids started, the other kids would realize it's ok, and they'd dance too. Today? NO ONE DANCED)

I walked around and yelled at kids. Well, no mostly I took pictures. But then when this group of about 10 hoochies started grinding with each other, I had to become the "bad guy" and break it up, then cart them off to the principal's office when they kept doing it. Really, it was quite disgusting. I've never seen girls behave so badly at a dance. They were all dressed so slutty--somehow their more modest costumes from 1st period became shorter and lower and by the end of the day. They flaunted everything they had--and didn't have--not at the guys--at each other. It was amazing to see these girls just totally go after each other. Unbelievable. Has it been this way always, and I never noticed because I was having fun and playing? Is it the mean boring old teacher in me that has me noticing this behavior and yelling all day to stop it? Or...maybe this 9th grade class is just plain nasty?

At any rate, I feel bad that I am taking my job for granted. I know that if the day ever comes that I quit and stay home, I will miss the classroom terribly. I love what I do. I really do. I just think that as you get older, the way you do it changes. Am I wrong? Oh well. Who cares. It's the weekend. Job? What job?

Picture Tour of Afton Darla Rees

2010-10-21T22:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, ok! I'm FINALLY updating my blog! I haven't updated in forever--I just haven't been able to think of anything to write about! Nothing's really ticked me off (that I can write about on a public blog, anyway) and I haven't been thinking deeply about anything (that I want to share on a public blog, anyway) and mega-happy "my-life-is-awesome" posts can be SO annoying. But---well, my life is awesome! So, here's a little video tour of the last month:

September 20, 2010

Afton was sick in September. Seemed to last forever. It's amazing, though, how quickly you forget the particulars after the fact. Anyway, I miss those days when I had a tiny baby who would just sleep on my chest. I thought those days were over until I had another baby. Poor Afton was so sick and slept so much, she'd sleep anywhere!

She fell asleep while DeLayna was holding her. She loves her Del.

October 1, 2010

Sometimes, Afton can get a little clingy. Especially on Daddy. On this Sunday morning, she refused to leave him alone. He had to eat and hold her at the same time. It was so cute.

October 8, 2010

Afton and I hang out outside a lot--or, as she says, 'side.

This month she's started talking a lot--I mean, she's always talking, but now I can actually understand some of her words! Today I heard her say "Tarzan" for the first time (our cat) and then "I love you!" which was more like "Ah Juh Joo!" It was SO cute. Trevor and I had tears in our eyes, hearing her say that for the first time! Anyway, here she is outside and, as always, obsessed with the water tap.

October 9, 2010

I was upstairs getting something, and I got distracted. Afton was downstairs. I heard her rumaging around. I looked over the railing to check on her, but although I could hear her, I couldn't see her anywhere. I went downstairs, and found her here---in the entertainment center under the stairs. She's obsessed with the movie cases over there, so I guess she needed a closer look.

October 10, 2010

Getting Afton to look directly at the camera and smile is pretty much impossible. On this day, she looked SO cute so I did a little photoshoot of her playing in the front yard. And I got so many good ones!

October 14, 2010

You know, it's getting to the point where I'm constantly grabbing the camera to get a picture of her doing her newest strange thing before I miss the moment. She's just

such a busy little thing! I can't keep track of her--she's always into something new!

October 18, 2010

I watched Dancing with the Stars on Monday. Afton loves Dancing with the Stars. She dances...with the stars. They dance, and so does she. She's awesome. Daddy came and sat with her, and then the TV held no charms for her. Daddy was near. That's all she cared about. So she gave him a kiss.

October 21, 2010

Today Afton was really on it. She got into everything! I let her--if she's occupied and it's easily cleaned up afterwards, what's the harm? First she got into the tupperware--I'm sure I'm not the only mother who has a kid in the tupperware. I have vague memories myself of playing in the tupperware drawer. It was an amazing, interesting place. But since Afton has discovered it, it seems we can never find matching lids anymore.

Yeah, it was a mess but like I said, easy to clean up. After that, I started making dinner. She got into the tin can cubbord again. She loves taking the cans out and dumping them on the floor. It keeps her occupied. I was just glad she wasn't grabbing my legs and whinning. So I let her go for it. Then I heard that sound--that unmistakeable sound of noodles hitting pergo. It is a sound I have heard before! I looked over and sure enough, she'd found an open bag of spaghetti noodles. Did I get mad? No. I grabbed my camera. And then let her continue to play in it for 10 minutes while I finished dinner. I mean, the noodles are gone anyway, she might as well enjoy them, right?

Sorry this post is pretty much ALL about Afton. But I have no pictures of anything else, really. Sorry. Though i DO have pictures of the shield Trevor's been working on for Halloween--that will be a post for another day. It's pretty awesome.

So yeah, that's the last month for me! I sure got a cute baby!

What I Like About YOU!

2010-10-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

Ok. Afton was SO funny yesterday. We got a lot of video of it, and I've been thinking its about time to put a video of her on my blog again!

I'm not sure how I found time to do this today while teaching 7 periods--must be my supreme multitasking skills. And I'm not being sarcastic here--they really ARE supreme. Enjoy!

(I apologize in advance for how annoying my voice and comments are on this video. I'm SURE I don't really sound like that in real life.)

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My New Calling - Primary Chorister

2010-09-27T20:44:00.001-07:00

WARNING: Unlike most of my posts, this is a very CHURCHY post. Be warned. If you are not a member of the LDS church or are not very active, this post and it's meaning may be a complete mystery to you. I apologize for being exclusive on this but...sorry. It's what's on my mind today.

I always thought that my IDEAL calling in the church would be Mia Maid advisor. But then I became a junior high teacher and I realized that mia maids are like--in 8TH GRADE. YUCK. Well, I STILL think that would be a pretty cool calling, but I'm also pretty sure I'll never serve in Young Women's. Young Women's advisors usually follow a certain pattern:

1. Skinny

2. Blonde
3. Super Spiritual

4. Kissed less than 4 guys

5. NEVER served a mission themselves
6. Married to a return missionary
7. Self-sacrificing
8. Sweet as sugar

9. Married by age 21

10. Have beautiful well-behaved children

(This, by the way, is also my definition of SYT, pronounced "Sit". SYT stands for Sweet Young Thing. There's nothing wrong with SYT's, except that they tend to marry all the RM's really fast and leave nothing for the sister missionaries to date when they get home.)

Ok, I know, this is a total stereotype. There are many different types of women serving in the young women's. Some aren't married, some are fat, and a very few might even be return missionaries. But in my experience, if you are most of these things, your chances of getting called are pretty darn good. Seeing as I only fit in about...well, TWO of these (married a return missionary and blonde. Afton is beautiful but not always well behaved :) I'm pretty sure I won't be seeing the inside of a young women's room any time soon. I'm too blunt. I'd tell it like it is. I'd even admit to them that...shhh...kissing is fun. I know--we try to keep this fact from them but I'm pretty sure they already know.

Ok. I'm going off on a tangent here. This post is NOT about the ideal calling I always wanted, but the one I just got. Primary Chorister. I think this is a calling you can only love or hate. It's one or the other. It requires a lot of preparation to be good at it, and there are a few requirements you want to have--like the ability to sing and lead music. Sometimes, this requirement is overlooked. I've actually always wanted to try this calling. I remember sitting in Primary as a teacher, watching our poor chorister trying so hard, but she just didn't seem to know what to do. She really did try her best. But oh--oh I wanted to run up there and just TAKE OVER! I knew how I would do it! I was full of ideas! I was frustrated to just sit there and grit my teeth and sing.

Well, I've been chorister for two weeks now. And guess what? IT IS THE BEST CALLING IN THE CHURCH!!! Move over Mia Maid Advisor. You've been replaced. I absolutely love this calling. Let me count the ways:

I get to be creative! I get to make stuff and glue and paste and print and glue some more. It's awesome. I don't get to do that much as a jr. high teacher. Teenagers don't care. But these kids love it. Last week I made boxes and put songs in them. When I called on someone to pick a box, they got to KEEP the box. It was mayhem. They all wanted them. I never heard kids sing so well. You just don't get that kind of enthusiasm and excitment from older kids.
It's not that hard. I mean, sharing time has to be all meaningful. This is just coming up with fun ways to sing. The majority of the time, the kids are singing. That's easy. I love to come up with new ways to make singing fun!
These kids CRACK ME UP. Seriously, last week we were DYING of laughter in senior primary. I made this Primary Song Wheel, and this kid spun it and got "Sing Slowly." So I had to pick a song to sing slow and I picked "Scripture Power" which is TOTALLY not a slow song. IT WAS HILARIOUS. Even the leaders were laughing.
I get to teach my baby how to sing! For the last ten minutes I go into nursery, and there is Afton being all cute, and I get to teach her and all these other little ones a song! They totally don't sing, but they are pretty darn cute. I never thought I'd enjoy anything nursery related but it really is so fun.
I get to have fun at church. Seriously--FUN. I love standing up in front of crowd. I love to make people laugh. And we just have so much fun together.

I don't know how long I'll feel this way--I'm sure I'll be totally burned out in a year. But right now I'm happy as a clam, and actually SAD that it's conference next week and I don't get to do my calling. So pathetic I know. But hooray! It's fun! Thanks Heavenly Father. You got this one dead on.

Blogging with Jeykll & Hyde

2010-09-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

When I was a missionary for my church, I served in South Africa. It was a great mission. But, of course, it was hard, too. It was 2000-2001, and at the time, emails were not allowed. My mail from home was a long time coming and outdated when it got there. I devoured it all the same.

When I left for my mission, my sister gave me a really great idea. I bought a three-ring journal at the distribution store, along with several packets of three-ring journal paper. I lef the journat home, but took the paper with me. All my letters home were written on that journal paper. After my parents finished reading the letter, they would put it in the journal. I came home 18 months later with a journal all ready for me and easy to read--all my letters home. It really was a brilliant idea, and I've spread it on to other missionaries going out.

But it did have one strange side effect. It was the birth of what I called the "Jekyll & Hyde journals." When I was frustrated or having a difficult time, I didn't usually write about it in detail in my letters home. What was the point of worrying my family with issues that would be long over after I read them? My letters home were full of happy times, success stories, bearing my testimony and encouraging words. These things were all true, I wasn't lying. And I would tell them if I was struggling--just not in any detail. This journal of letters became my Jeykll journal. All the good stuff. All the happiness and goodness of serving a mission.

I kept another journal on my mission. Up until this point in my life, I was an avid journal writer. I was actually quite obnoxious about it. But once on mission, I was so busy I didn't have much time to write. So I only wrote when I needed to get my feelings out--something I have done since I started writing in my journal in the 3rd grade. When I'm upset or need to sort out how I feel, I write it down. And thus, my Hyde journal was born. It helped at the time, but that journal isn't so fun to read now.

If you were to read one of the other of these journals, it wouldn't give you a very accurate depiction of what my mission was like. In one, you'd think it was a piece of cake and I had no problems. In the other, you'd think I hated every second of it. But when read together, the real shape of my 18 months down there become more clear.

I don't write in my journal much anymore. I have a file that I update every few weeks with the goings-on of my life. Once married, I found that I had precious little to write about. My feelings are generally on an even keel and I don't need to "write it out" all that often.

And then: Enter the blog.

Which journal is this blog? Is it my Jekyll or my Hyde? I have recently been informed by a long-time friend that my blog is really negative. This hurt to hear. I was actually quite upset about it. I didn't think I was all that negative. I looked over my last posts--and sure, some of them were perhaps "negative" but more, they were me getting out my feelings. Writing it out. Sorting how I feel. And perhaps this isn't something I should do in a public place. Obviously it's not understood. I think that's one of my problems--I always assume people just understand me and know how I meant to say things. But they don't. It gets me into trouble.

So, to all you readers out there, if my blog has seemed negative to you--I apologize. I hope I have not given the impression that I am a negative person, or that my life is not a happy one. I guess I don't see much reason to have some annoying Jeykll blog--to post constantly about how great my life and my husband and my child are--posts like that are kind of braggy and annoying. But--I DO have a great life. And a great husband. And a great child. I AM happy. In fact, the last few days I've had moments where I catch myself grinning in happiness for no particular reason.

But for me, writing is a way of thinking. It helps me think. It helps me understand myself. And I guess that means that sometimes, this blog will be a little bit Hyde. 'Cause sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it's not all rosy. And it's nice to share it with friends and realize that sometimes, they feel that way too. I guess that's why I blog. Why do YOU blog?

Have I Deteriorated?

2010-09-02T21:22:00.000-07:00

I often tell guys that when you marry a hot girl who is under 21, you really have no idea what you are getting. They, after all, haven't really gotten their "real" body yet. You have no idea if they are going to get fat or stop caring about their appearance. Better, I tell them, to marry a girl in her mid to late twenties, who has already done her "deteriorating" and become pretty much what she's going to look like for the rest of her life. Then you have a better idea. Not just looks, of course--older girls also have SOME INKLING of who the crap they are and what they want in life.

I thought this was pretty sound logic. But...I was wrong. I did not take into account what marriage and child-bearing can do to you. It's amazing how all the superficial things men look for in a wife are exactly what she gives up once she marries him. She gives up her figure to have a baby. And then she has a hard time caring what she looks like as her priorities totally shift.

Of course, there are those women who hold on to everything and manage to stay skinny and beautiful.

Let's not discuss those women. Because we hate them.

I got married when I was 27. Surely--SURELY--I had already done my "deteriorating" and Trevor was sure what he was getting. Granted, I was no size 8 anymore. He knew when he married me that I'd never be skinny. And that's a comfort. But poor Trevor. When I met him, I had just lost 30 pounds. I looked the best I'd looked since I was 20. I TOTALLY fooled him. In fact, we were discussing this the other day. I said "Man, we were so much hotter when we got married," (Trevor has put on a few too!) "we really fooled eachother," I added.

Trevor said, "Yeah. We really let the fat out of the bag."

When I lost all that weight, I was just getting into Photoshop. Obsessed with my newfound weight-loss, I took a lot of photos of myself. Then I'd pull them into Photoshop and play with all the features. It's a practice that eventually led me to digital scrapbooking. Here are some of the photos of me from back then--about 2005, 2006:

Ok, maybe they are a little--arrogant. But I learned so much about photography! The one on the upper right was my profile on an LDS dating site. I had to remove it because when I met guys I could tell they were disappointed that I wasn't that cute. Oh, the things Photoshop can do...

Tonight I pulled out the camera again. Trevor wasn't sure what I was laughing at all by myself in the computer room...

So here's my question to you all out there--and be honest. I know it might be hard to tell me to my face but...

Have I deteriorated?

Whose Taking Care of Me?

2010-08-30T20:29:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like, although you are the ramrod that holds your family together, you are also the least important person in it? I mean, take Mom out of the equation, and the whole family would fall apart. Or at least flounder. And yet, mom's needs are very last. Dead last. I think I am just a little too selfish to accept this difficult fact. Am I the only one who struggles with this? Am I just more selfish than most moms out there? I take care of the man and the baby--but who takes care of ME? Oh wait--I do. When I get the chance. Which I rarely do.

I spent the summer being a Stay At Home Mom. I wrote a post about how work was easier. Well, this what I have to say about that...WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING????

I have never struggled with working as much as I am right now. I've never wanted to be home more. I've always said I like my job, I like working, and I am ok with not being a SAHM. But now--now I'm not so sure. I just can't keep up! How did I do it last semester? I'm tired. No--I'm exhausted. I am teaching seven periods a day with no break. I did this last semester--how did I not, like, DIE? Every second is insane--I'm getting new students sent down every period, and they interupt what I'm doing and I'm multi-tasking and trying to settle them and keep the other kids busy. And then I'm teaching the same thing over and over again--why is this suddenly so difficult? I've been doing it for six years! And then school gets out and I'm rushing to pick up the baby and get dinner on for Trevor and keep the house clean.

He comes home, eats dinner. And he goes to bed.

I do the dishes, sweep the floor, make dinner and serve it, do more dishes, feed the baby, put her to bed, go back up there twenty times to soothe her before she actually goes to sleep. I try to get scrapbooking and blogging done--when I'm lucky enough to have the time--and get lunches ready for the next day and clean up messes and do the laundry and pick up EVERY SINGLE THING he's ever worn which is on the floor since he can't figure out how to use a hamper. I'm tired. Is it ok that I'm tired?

And I'm really not being fair. Trevor will be ticked when he reads this. He's really great with Afton. He puts her down to bed almost as often as I do. He works long 10 hour days and he's tired too. But seriously--how hard is it to use a hamper???

Today was just the hardest day. Work was long and stressful. Trevor is really, really sick. He's throwing up constantly and he's really dizzy. We aren't sure why. Am I a jerk because I'm not thinking, "Oh my poor darling! I'm so sad you're sick! What can I do to serve you?" but instead I'm thinking, "Damn! Now I have to do EVERYTHING!" He can't drive, so I spent the whole evening driving Afton to my sisters, then picking him up then going to Instacare, then going to Walgreens to get his perscription, then getting Afton, then picking up the perscription (and Walgreens took FOREVER so I'm not going there again!) And we get home--and still I'm running a mile a minute feeding the baby, getting her down, running to the store for milk. He sits and watches TV. Like he's been sitting and resting all day.

But he's sick! He really is! He really CAN'T do what I'm doing--I know this. I know he's not faking it. I've seen the blood run from his face when he stands up, and how heavily he leans on me when we walk, and how he had to run to the bathroom when we got to the Instacare to throw up yet again. Why am I not more sympathetic? Why am I not more Christ-like? Why can't I feel more empathy for him and take care of him the way I'm supposed to? Why am I complaining, when he has a geniune and real need?

Maybe because I also have genuine and real needs--but they are NEVER as important as anyone else's.

Ok. I'm done. Please don't think I'm a horrible person. I love my husband with all my heart. I'm completely nuts about him. Everyone knows that. (Gosh I hope he doesn't read this...uh..I LOVE YOU HONEY!!!) I love my baby girl. I am honored to have them both in my life and to be able to serve them. But...today I just want a break! Is that ok??

I'm THAT GIRL.

2010-08-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

I got in a fender bender yesterday. My fault. And guess what? I was talking on my cell phone. Yup. I'm that girl. I was stopped at the corner ready to turn right, and talking to Trevor. I was only a minute from my mother-in-law's house. I glanced to check the light, and when I turned back, I was bumping the car in front of me.

I was horrified. I haven't had an accident since 2003. My record is almost pristine. Trevor's IS pristine. And I got in an accident. And I WAS ON MY CELL PHONE! The woman I hit drove a convertible--it was a 2001 and not new, but it was still a beautiful car. She got out of the car and started yelling at me for being on my cell phone. Having ended my call abruptly, I immediately and humbly apologized. What else could I do? I can't deny I was on my phone. TOTALLY took the wind out of her sails. I think she would have much preferred it if I'd yelled right back. We pulled over. There were no injuries--Afton was in the back and didn't seem to really notice it had happened at all. My mother-in-law came and got her soon after so she didn't have to wait in the hot sun. My car is totally fine. There's has a two small dents in the bumper. Not sure how this is going to pan out with my insurance.

Anyway--I wondered to myself, after the lady yelled at me, if SHE had ever talked on her cell phone while driving. I mean, don't most people do that? And as annoying as it is when you see a reckless driver on their phone, it's NOT illegal (yet). Thank goodness I wasn't texting! But then, how many times have I thrown up my hands in fury when I get cut off by someone with a cell phone attached to their face? Don't we all know its dangerous? And we do it anyway! In fact, I SAVE certain phonecalls for when I'm driving, so I have "something to do." How ridiculous is that?

So I've been very aware since the accident. I said to myself, "no more talking on the cell phone while driving." And to my surprise--it's something akin to giving up drugs or alcohol. It's REALLY HARD!!! It's like some kind of addiction! Suddenly driving is so BORING! Remember those days when we didn't have cell phones or computers? And somehow, we got through the day without dying. Now it's like I've had my arm cut off. It's so pathetic. We are so addicted to our technology!

Anyway, that's my story. I hope this doesn't kill my premiums. I hope that ticket doesn't cost me a fortune. Thank goodness the police officer only sited me for following too closely, and not for distracted driving! And I sure hope those people don't suddenly claim an injury. They seemed like the type that would get the most they can out of this situation. But then--I DID hit them. And THEY are the ones that will have to go through the hassle of getting their car repaired. URG!!! I can't believe I'm THAT GIRL. The annoying chick not paying attention while talking on her cell phone! I hate that girl! I yell at that girl all the time! And now--she's ME!!!

I Think I'm Going Crazy

2010-08-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

Do you ever find yourself rehearsing conversations in your mind that you WISH you could have, but know you never will?

In describing myself, I've always said I'm the type that doesn't hold grudges. I forgive and forget quite easily--sometimes to the point that I really DO forget that someone has treated me badly, and then I find myself in the same situation a few months later when they do it again. It's true I don't really hold grudges--I simply can't. I'm the complete opposite of stubborn.

But I was thinking that there are a very few people in my life that have treated me badly or disappointed or frustrated me enough that I harbor a grudge--a BIG one. I mean, I don't think about it often. But when it comes up--I just sit there and go over and over madly in my head what I would say to them if I had the chance. And yet I know that if I DID say any of it to them, they'd think I was an emotional psycho and I'd look like a total idiot, and then I'd feel even worse. I think that is why I get so mad--I know there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it. Nothing is more frustrating to me than to be deliberately misunderstood.

I remember in college this guy thought I'd done something that I didn't do. The evidence against me was pretty strong, but I maintained that I had not done what he thought I had. And he WOULD NOT believe me. No matter what I said. No matter how I explained. He had decided and that was that. It was utterly maddening. And the more I tried to explain, and the angrier I got, the more certain he was that I was "protesting too much."

It's all so very annoying. Why do I let things get to me? Why can't I just let it go? I've been back to work for one day and already the stress and frustration is creeping back. Everything I try to do, all my extra projects that I enjoy, are sabotaged by the same person--who isn't aware they are doing it, and would think I'm totally crazy if I pointed it out.

I think I'm going crazy. Maybe I am crazy. I remember a companion on my mission that made me crazy. She'd do something SO irritating, so I'd do it back, to show her how irritating she was. And then she'd accuse me of doing it! And tell me I'm irritating! And I was like, "But you started it!" and then guess what? I sound like a crazy idiot again.

Such is my life.

I'm going to bed.

A Whole New Lagoon

2010-08-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

We went to Lagoon on Tuesday. It's has been six or seven years since I've been there, and wow! It's a whole new park! I can't believe how many new rides there were! Everything was all newly painted and looked great! I have a new favorite ride. The Spider. It's friggin' awesome. It was there the last time I went, but it was closed. So I'm so glad I got to go on it! And then there was that new ride The Bat. WHERE did that come from? I don't remember anything in the commericals about that ride opening. Wicked was a great ride too--but I still liked the Spider the best!

Anyway, we went with our friends Heather and David--both of whom served with me in South Africa on my mission. We had a total blast! Heather, who didn't grow up here, pointed out that Lagoon must be total childhood nostalgia for me, since I was constantly pointing at things and saying, "I remember when..." And she's right--I used to go there every summer, sometimes several times. That's back when you could afford to do such things. Now, it's just so expensive! (Thanks to my sister-in-law Becky who tracked down those discount tickets for us! You saved us like $30 bucks!!)

And you know what? I finally got kissed on the Terror Ride. I've been waiting for that since I was like 12. I don't know why this is such a big deal, but it is. Because I've never gone to Lagoon with a boyfriend. How is that possible? And Trevor and I have never been together, either. HE hadn't been for about six or seven years, too! So, I required him to kiss me on the Terror Ride. I'm so glad he complied. I had a roommate once who told me that her FIRST kiss was at LAGOON with a BOY SHE MET there on the TERROR RIDE. It just gets better and better. That's like, every teenager's dream. Ok, maybe I was just a weird teenager. The picture on the left here, by the way, is me ON the Colossas. Heather took it while we were still on the ride! She's so funny!

There's not a ride at Lagoon I won't go on. But I found that I had a little more fear than I've ever had before--which I think is what being a parent does to you. And I got a little light headed on a few of the rides, like the Swings and even Colossas. I never get light headed! I'm getting so old! But--I wasn't as bad as our wimpy men! Though both of them are usually fine at amusement parks, they both had a few stomach issues. Heather and I were totally fine. At one point we just ditched them while they lay at the terrace, and went on a ton of roller coasters without them! They even had to buy some Dramamine! (How do you spell that?)

By 7:00 the boys were done--they refused to ride anything for the last two hours, the big babies. So Heather dragged me on to the Rocket as our last ride. It's one of those rides that you feel a lot of anticipation, and then--it's just OVER. The whole ride is like 2 seconds long.

We went out to eat after that, and then went back to Heather's house and watched a movie. We didn't pick up Afton from my Mom's until 1:00 a.m.! What a great day! Afton, on the other hand, did NOT have such a great day. She spent half of it with my sister Cindy and half of it with my mom. But the poor thing was sick! We had no idea--it just hit her that day! She was throwing up! Poor little thing. She slept in until 1:00 p.m. the next morning!

So, now I've been to Lagoon, I want to keep going every year. I'm hoping to have a family reunion there next year. Our family is at a great place to do that next year--even the littlest ones can ride SOME rides, and the older ones are big enough to go off on their own. I hope we can pull it off. It's no Disneyland, but still--I love Lagoon!

DREAD

2010-08-11T13:08:00.001-07:00

A week and a half! That's all I have before everything changes! How did the time go by so quickly?? Usually, this is a fun time of year. I'm looking forward to going back to school. There's something exciting about brand-new 7th graders, the smell of sharpened pencils, and putting my room in order for the new year. But this year, I have never felt such a feeling of dread. I mean, when I think about school I get this deep dark heavy feeling in my chest. I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK!

I wish I could say the main reason is because I don't want to leave Afton and would prefer to be a stay at home mom. This isn't quite true. Now, when I mention aloud that I don't want to leave my baby, it' s hard not to cry. Because I DON'T. I love being home with her. But--I really don't mind being a working mom. I'd love to work part time--so long as work is a good and happy place to be.

But it's not.

That's why I am feeling such dread. Everything has changed so much at my school, moralle among the teachers is really, really low, and I don't get along with my boss at all. He doesn't like me. I don't really blame him--I'm a total psychopath around him. Somehow, he just brings the worst out in me. I think it started last summer when we had our first meetings before the start of the school year, and he told all of us that we couldn't use our cell phones during school hours. Everyone was pretty ticked, but I was HORRIFIED. I raised my hand, and said something like, "So, if I need to call my baby..." And then I got all choked up and couldn't finish and actually left the room a few minutes later and bawled in my classroom for 15 minutes. I'd just left behind my tiny new baby, and the idea that I couldn't use my cell phone to call the daycare whenever I felt I needed to--well, I couldn't take it. If I DON'T use my cell phone, then I'd have to call on my school phone which is in front of all my students. And people can't call you at school--it goes straight to voicemail. So if there's an emergency, my daycare can't call my phone? Are you serious? He never enforced that rule though. I talked to him about my problem later and he was fine. So see--he's not a bad guy.

But yes, that's where it started. And incidents similar to that continued all year long. One thing after another. I didn't handle any of them well. He thinks I'm a total mess. Again--I've earned that. But now that I'm not in his little favorites club, I'm pretty much a doormat. My opinions mean nothing. I have just shut up, say nothing, and wait till either he retires or I can find another place to work.

I don't want to go back! I don't want to leave my little girl! I don't want to feel that stress I felt all last year! Like when, in May, he refused to pay me for the hours I spend creating and keeping up the school website, even though he'd said earlier in the year that he WOULD pay me. Man, how I stressed over that! I needed the money so bad (and we're talking less than $200 here) but he refused. I was so tempted to pull down the whole website and let the parent complaints juts come rolling in. But luckily my department paid me for it, so it all worked out. But I was so upset and emotional all the time! How can I go into this new school year and stay calm and just NOT CARE?

Ok. I better stop. I'm sure this is not remotely interesting to anyone else. My boss is not a bad guy. He's actually a good guy. But somehow, we just don't work out. I'm not sure how to change that. I'm not sure I can. I think I'll just sit back and not care--and then what? Become like all those other junior high teachers that don't care? I don't want to be one of those! Grrr...Ok. The rant is over. I'm SO sorry...

Slow Results is Better Than...OH SUCK IT!!

2010-08-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

I'm having a frustrating morning, fighting with that age-old deman--WEIGHT. I'm so sick of this crap. I really am. I was talking to my size 4 mother-in-law about it last night, and she sympathized, although she's never had to deal with it herself. I was so jealous. Can you imagine never having to worry about your weight? Are there really people like that?

I've been working out 4-5 times a week for SEVEN weeks now. I eat pretty healthy, too. I've been SO much more careful. And what do I have to show for it? A loss of only FOUR pounds. FOUR!!! What the hell!! Yes, I've lost 11 inches, and I can feel a small difference in my clothes, but...it's been seven freaking weeks! And when I say I'm working out, I'm REALLy working out. We're talking P90X, people! I have never worked out so much and so hard in my life.

So now, for the standard answers:

1. Muscle is heavier than fat. Oh shut up! Whether it's muscle or fat, I'm still fat! Does NOT help me, people!
2. Slow results is better than no results. Ok, I keep chanting this to myself. I know it's true. I mean, if I give up, there's no chance of it getting any better. If I keep it up, then eventually, something HAS to happen, right?
3. Are you counting your calories? Ok. No. This is my change this week. I have a great program to do it in (fitday) and I've got most of what I eat already entered. It really won't take very long. Maybe I'm eating more than I think I am. So that's my new goal this week--count the calories. I've tried the Weight Watchers and all kinds of other stuff, but in the end, old-fashioned counting is best. Gag.

You know, I've only lost a significant amount of weight once before in my life--25 lbs in 2004. I worked SO HARD to get that weight off. I was single then, and had a very flexible schedule. I was younger. And I had the motivation of, "Get the weight off or you'll never get married!" In all the years since then, everytime I tried to lose weight again I'd remember how hard I had to work then, and I'd know I wasn't ready to work like that this time around. And I'd know that I don't have as good a schedule, and I have a kid. And I have a husband. And I have a LOT more goin' on around my middle than before. And there's a couple of muscles in my middle that don't work any more thanks to a C-section. And now I have the motivation of, "Get it off now, before you have another kid and it's stuck there forever!"

So, despite all this whining, I'm still going. I'm still quoting to myself that adage of "Slow results is better than no results." The fact is, working out makes me feel good. And I don't beat myself up all the time thinking that I SHOULD be working out. At least I'm trying. But oh, when I see pictures of myself I just want to cringe. I refuse to be that person who WON'T have pictures taken because they are fat--I remember all too well how much fun it is to look at those "fat" pictures once you've lost the weight. When I see a bad picture, I think, "oh, one day I'm going to LOVE this picture..."

So, here's to protein shakes, chicken meatballs and spinach frittata's--I'm gonna keep going!!

Introducing REAL SCRAPPY!!!

2010-08-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, you hoardes of breathless followers--I am introducing my new blog! That's right--I've started a new blog for digital scrapbooking.

I've found that there are a lot of digital scrapbooking sites that are oh so helpful and oh so overwhelming. Where do you actually start? Who can explain where to begin--in small increments, step by step, from the very beginning? Oh yeah. It's totally me. I teach 7th graders to use EXCEL for heaven's sake--how hard can Photoshop be? Having taught Photoshop to adults before, I figure this is the perfect thing for me to do!

I plan to update my blog each week with each new step. I've already got three posts now including an introduction, and two lessons. My site includes video instructions on how to get started! So, if you are interested in learning about digital scrapping, checkout http://realscrappy.blogspot.com

Please visit! Become a follower! Hope you like it!

Picture of the Day - 1st Grade

2010-07-30T08:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, couldn't think of anything to post. And then I remembered my friend Leslie said once that if you can't think of anything, find an old picture and tell a story. So that's what I'm doing. I pulled out my old scrapbook that my mom kept for me growing up. Bless her for that, by the way. I sure wish Trevor had a picture book from his years growing up! Anyway, I chose this picture.

1st Grade

1984.

Mrs. Baum's Class.

I remember this picture very well. I loved that Mervyn's dress very much. I especially liked sucking on the bow. I sucked on the bow all the time. I think a lot of 1st graders suck on stuff. I knew this girl in my class that sucked on her hair all the time, until her mother got fed up and CHOPPED OFF HER HAIR. All of it. Uneven, and like a buzz cut. How rude is THAT? I mean, how could sucking on her hair possibly have done more damage than getting all the scoffs and scorns from her peers with hair like THAT? I wonder if she's still scarred from it? I wonder what HER 1st grade picture looks like? Her sister-in-law works at my school. Maybe I'll ask.

Anyway, I digress.

So, my mother was well aware of my bow-sucking addiction. I remember this very clearly. She said to me as I left for "picture day" to make sure I ask the photographer if my bow is straight. She swore me to it. I was determined to do this. I was not so determined, obviously, to just not suck on my bow. I remember when it was my turn, and I knew I had to ask the photographer--a GROWN UP that I DIDN'T KNOW--if my bow was straight. And you know what? I remember--I was no shrinking Violet. I didn't chicken out. I totally asked him. I don't remember his response--I'm sure it was something like, "Yeah sure, kid," POOF!!

I bet photographers hate picture day at schools. I bet they dread it. Tons of annoying little kids, whining, crying, sucking on their bows. He just wanted the day over. He didn't care that I sucked on my bow. And now--I have the proof of this uncaring and bored photographer to keep forever.
Here's to you man, whoever you are...

Oregon 2010

2010-07-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

Well, we've been back from our Oregon trip for almost a week now. I figured it's time to update! Ever since I was a kid, going to Oregon was magical. It was a yearly trip, every summer, and I couldn't wait. I even made homemade calendar's to count down. My mother grew up in a town called Vale--only about 17 miles out of Ontario. It's a small farm town, but to me growing up, it was an amazing place. It gave me an appreciation of another lifestyle different from my own--I think every kid should grow up visiting the farm! Trevor did the same thing going to visit HIS grandparents in Loa, so he really appreciates Vale, too. For years, we'd go up every summer. Then Grandma moved down here, and then she passed away, and we all got older--and for a few years we didn't see much of the family up there. But now, we try to go every year. My aunt and cousins still live there, and there is so much to do. The farm isn't quite the same as it used to be--but it's still Oregon. And there's nothing better than introducing your children to the same joy you had as a kid.

(Getting ready to go home from Oregon, about 1987. You can see how sad we were! That's grandma and grandpa Mikkelsen with us.)

(Visiting Aunt Carolyn's house, in about 1989. That little baby Samantha is all grown up and married now! It's so weird!)

(I think we took this before going swimming at the dam. Me with my cousins Loni, Chad, and JoAnna.)

(My mom with my Grandpa Mikkelsen--and ornery old farmer with the BEST sense of humor! I miss him!)

(Not sure what the cake is for, but that is my Aunt Janice, Aunt Sharon, Mom, and Carolyn--all sisters--and Kathy, who is Carolyn's daughter-in-law. I think she's pregnant with Jeremy?)
(Ah, the RAFT. My cousin Cheryl and I spent all summer playing in the ditch. on year we built a really crappy raft that we just loved. It took us all day.)

(Another "going home" picture, this time with my Aunt Janice's kids, who were from California. Clearly, they didn't want to go home either. This picture was taken in 1988. It was the last time I saw my cousin Jodi--in blue in the back right. He was killed in a fire only a few months later.)

Anyway, we're ALL grown up now. We've all got kids--and the grandkids range from mid-twenties to brand new babies. This was Afton's first time up there, and we were so excited to introduce her to the farm! After a surprisingly pleasant 7 hour drive up there (thanks to my friend Heather who lent us her DVD player, and my neice Kylee who kept her company) we visited my Aunt Carolyn for a while and then headed to Loni and Tonya's--Loni is Carolyn's second child. Anyway, they have horses. And let me tell you--my AWESOME daughter wasn't remotely afraid.

She was a real hit with them. It was so fun to visit! We got there first, since Nicki stopped in Ontario and poor Cindy had car trouble in Boise. The rest of the family came later that night. We stayed the night at Carolyn's. Friday morning Trevor went golfing with Matt. He was gone for most of the day, which sucked, but at least he had fun. We all went to Carolyn's and visited and let the kids get used the farm and play with their second cousins, whom they don't know so well. It was so fun to watch them! Afton loved the farm!

Then Friday night we went back to the Bed & Breakfast we were staying in (though I don't know why they call it that--the beds SUCKED and there was NO breakfast...)

We had dinner, and just sat and visited. There was a kiddie pool in the back that Trevor and my Aunt Sharon used to cool off in! And later, Afton sort of fell in it--but she was ok. That's the closest we got to a hotel with a pool in Oregon.

And then my cousin Shannon's husband brought out his guitar and bongo drums. THEN the real fun began.

Afton went CRAZY. She was a dancin fool! It was so fun to see everyone gathered around watching MY baby, and realizing what a special amazing little kid she is! I'd never seen her dance quite like that, even though I've known since I was pregnant with her that she loves music. She also was dubbed "The Binki Bandit" when she went up and stole a binki from Tyson, and later Shannon's Emma, and ran off grinning. Anyway, here's the video of her dancing. It's kinda long but I couldn't cut it--it's too cute!

Friday night after things were calming down, several of us walked all over Vale looking at the town. I love that Trevor came with us. Even though he didn't grow up there, he still appreciates it and is interested in it.

On Saturday we spent the whole day at Carolyn's. What fun it was! And I FINALLY floated down the canal! Growing up, the older grandkids did this from time to time, but as I'm the second to youngest grandchild, I was always too small. So this was my first time! My body got pretty beat up by the rocks and the unexpected cement barrier we went flowing over, but still--it was great! Luckily Nicki rode along the canal in her SUV and took some pictures!

I have no idea how Loni's girls were able to get out of the steep sides of the canal and then jump off, but it was fun watching them!

There was great food, and a weenie roast that we pretty much missed because we ran back to the hotel to put Afton down for the night, and Nicki stayed with her and with her kids. So when we got back, it was mostly over. But--SOMEONE still took pictures with our camera while we were gone, so it still looks like we were there...

When we got back, it was time for poker. Unfortunately I got no pictures--I don't think anyone did. I got out of the game quite early, and went home with Mom and Dad, but Trevor stayed a while. Aunt Carolyn ended up winning the jackpot!

And then it was time to pack up and come home! So sad! Afton was great on the way home, too, even through the ridiculous "construction" in Box Elder County, which added an hour to our trip for no apparent reason. Still, all in all it was a great trip! I want to go up to Oregon as much as we can for as long as it lasts--and each year Afton will "get it" even more. Here's a few more pictures!

(The five sisters--it's so awesome all five of us were there. That's a first in like--15 years. Seriously.)
(Afton on the tractor. We were taking pictures of her, and then Jen found a blade of wheat in the nearby field and it totally made the picture!)

(Mom and her three sisters. As you can see, we come by the all girls thing pretty honestly!)

(Trevor tries his hand at the bongo drums. Pretty much everyone did, especially the kids!)

(The kids loved the swimming pool at Carolyn's. Well, not Afton. She'd cry every time I took her near it. But it kept the kids busy and mostly out of hair, so we all loved it too.)

"Whatcha Doin?"

2010-07-13T14:29:00.001-07:00

So I haven't updated much this summer. Maybe because things have been pretty boring. Well, not boring--I'm loving every second of my vacation. But there's not much to write about. I'm avoiding any actual thinking as much as I can--especially any thinking about work. Sometimes its like I forget I even have a job. It's awesome.

But I thought I'd do a little update on what I've been doing all summer. Not the big highlights--the trips and the camps and all the the things everyone ELSE is doing. I haven't done any of that. I pretty much hang out. Though I AM going to Oregon this weekend, and that is so exciting!

Anyway, how do I spend my days? Well, for the last three weeks, I've been getting going on working out. I do it EVERY SINGLE MORNING. Except Sat and SUn usually. But five days a week! And I'm working out hard--I have discovered P90X and I really like it a lot. So that's good. I've only lost 4 pounds and 4 inches, but I'll take it. My clothes are fitting better so that's awesome. And I just feel better about myself. I don't have to be quite so guilty about my size when at least I'm doing something about it.

When Afton is sleeping, there's a dizzying array of choices with what I can do with my time. Sometimes I go downstairs and make more hairbows, either for Afton or other people. Sometimes I play the Sims. Or I watch Reba episodes I got from the library. What I SHOULD be doing is scrapbooking, but I confess I've done very little. I've even started yet another rewrite on my novel, this time with a lot of HUGE changes. Who knows if I'll finish it. And I'm 99% sure it will never be published. But it's fun to do. It's challenging.

I heard a comment on Facebook the other day from a stay at home mom who was offended at the very idea of having a hobby while she's home with her kids. How can she have time? Her KIDS are her hobby. I whole-heartedly disagreed with her. Granted, I only have one kid. I know that the more kids I have, the less and less time I will have for me. But I've always been a hobby person. I've always had projects I'm working on in various fields. It's hard to give that up now that I'm a mom--in fact, loss of personal time for my hobbies has been the hardest thing for me to accept in motherhood. But I don't think I should have to give up ALL my free time in order to be a good mom. I think having free time can make you a good mom. If you make your kids your one and only hobby--what do you do with yourself when they move out? Who are then, without them there? And not only that--having time for yourself keeps you YOU, instead of getting lost in the daily drudgery, and joys, that come with raising children.

Am I right, or am I just justifying myself?

Well, anyway, that's the only remotely deep thought I've had in weeks. It's the SUMMER. I refuse to think to deeply until I'm forced back into it when school starts in August. This coming school year promises to be VERY challenging, (in other words, certain factors make me pretty sure it's gonna suck rocks) and I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about leaving Afton again. I don't want to thing of going back to having no time for hobbies or working out or anything else. I'm living in the NOW people!

Alright, well, I figure I might as well end this post with some pictures of what we've been doing this summer, so here goes:

Afton is NOT fond of water. She seems to get more and more freaked out by it every time we try to do anything water related. She was just fine in the kiddy pool a few weeks prior to this, but on the 4th of July she FREAKED. She wouldn't go near the sprinklers, either. Poor baby!

Afton and Daddy during the fireworks and Grandma and Grandpa Rees's. She wanted off his lap all the time--unless the fireworks were actually going. Then she was just content to sit.

My little Broadway Baby! Sorry--I just think she looks like she belongs in "Chorus Line" in this photo...

Well, we tried to get a cute picture of her hanging from the bars, as my sister Nicki did with her baby. But, apparently, Afton is not so adept on the tricky bars as Tyson. Just like their mothers!

My sister Cindy's girls LOVE Afton. According to her son Logan, they are pretty much obsessed with her. Afton is ok with that. She loves the attention!

I took this one today. It made me laugh. I just got that garbage can (since Afton thought getting her dirty diapers out of the garbage and throwing them on the floor is hilarious) and she noticed her reflection. Seems to be a discovery this week. I mean, she's seen her reflection before of course, but this week she became acutely aware of it! (or, CUTELY aware...I'm SO funny...)

I just love Afton in the mornings. I go in there, and she's wide awake and bounding around her crib, her curly hair all over the place, and a grin from ear to ear. I love this baby!!!

Stay At Home vs. Working Moms

2010-06-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

Moms tend to fall into one of two categories: Working Mom and Stay At Home Mom. I think that sometimes, each category envies the other, and sometimes, they feel sorry for the other. I've heard complaints from SAHM's that WM's don't respect their time. "Would you pick up Billy for me and keep in for two hours until I get home? Again? Thanks!" Because, if you are a SAHM, you obviously having nothing better to do, right? And then there's the other side--"Oh, it must be SO HARD to be away from your kids. I could never do it." And you're like--"yeah, because I'm a crappy mom who doesn't really love her kids."

Anyway, that's really not what this post is about, and I don't want to offend anyone. You see, I'm a hybrid of these two. Many women are--like women who work part-time. As a teacher, I get nine months of working mom, and 3 months stay at home mom. Last summer I was with my brand new baby. Trevor was still unemployed, so I had his help. We were together constantly. So somehow--that doesn't really count. It didn't quite prepare me for the adjustment I am going through right now.

You know what? Going to work is EASIER. That's my conclusion. I guess it helps that I really love my job and feel fulfilled and appreciated (most of the time.) But I'll tell you what--these last few weeks have taught me that a day at home makes me ten times more tired than a day at work. And I only have one kid! The idea of doubling this is a bit scary! Today I worked out and then cleaned like a madwoman. Afton was constantly underfoot, or she was off and silent (even worse) and when I'd find her, all my hard work was completely gone as I observed the mess she made. I am walking like an old woman. My feet are so sore and my calves burn. (Not sure why--I didn't even work my legs today! Do pushups make your legs hurt? Hmmmm...)

But I love that I get to experience both worlds. I hope that can help me have appreciation for both worlds--that I can respect my neighbors time and energy, and know that they are all working hard--whether they work or not. I look at my friend Brook, who watches Afton during the school year. This woman has five children. She is so busy all day long. I can't even begin to imagine the cooking and cleaning it takes to keep up with a husband and five children! And yet, she's managed to take the time to teach her children--to spend time with them and teach them well. She has incredible kids. She works just as hard--harder--than any working mom I know.

But does that mean that, if I work, I can't have great kids like that? I think of my sister-in-law Andrea. She works at a dental office--she's a full time working mom. And she has two of the most fantastic girls. Actually--I can't fairly praise Andrea and not praise my other sister-in-law Becky. She works full time too--and her kids are awesome. These women have both learned to balance their careers with raising their kids. They know what's important--when they come home, work stays at work. And maybe they are just a little more grateful for the time they get to spend with them.

One of the best things about being the youngest in my family--and Trevor being the youngest in his, is that we have so many great examples to follow. Each of my sisters has some pretty amazing parenting skills that I can observe and learn from. Up until now, parenting has pretty much been keeping Afton alive and healthy. Now as she gets older, we have to do more. We have to begin to really TEACH her--everything from manners to her colors, to reading, to the gospel. It's overwhelming. And thank goodness for the amazing women in my life who have shown me that it doesn't matter whether you are working or stay at home--it's the quality of time you spend with your kids that make them into amazing people. Thank you!

How Do I Make it Pay?

2010-06-18T18:27:00.001-07:00

So this last week I taught a digital scrapbooking class at the business teacher conference. I was so excited that they asked me to do TWO sessions of it--apparently they anticipated that it would be a very popular class. I was so glad--I get paid for two sessions instead of just one! Anyway, the class went well, and it WAS very well attended. It was nice to teach a room full of business teachers that are computer savvy, so that even if they don't know Photoshop--they are definately profficient on the computer. I don't have to spend forever making sure they know how to open a document. Also, they have easy access to the program--one of the biggest problems when teaching Photoshop. People want to learn it, but they don't want to pony up the cash to buy it. As business teachers, they can easily get it at least on their work computer using their funding. So that was nice.

One hour was definately NOT enough time! There was so much to talk about! But I realized a couple of things at this conference. I learned that I am actually pretty darn knowlegeable about Photoshop. Here I'm in a room full of people who are computer savy and some who already know the program somewhat--and my knowledge was far above the average. I didn't know that--I compare myself to the people online who make the kits and the actions, who are total whizes. Well, I'm not THAT good, but I'm certainly qualified. And I'm a teacher--trained to teach. And I'm trained to teach how to use computer programs. Its what I do every day.

So here I am, with this skill that few people have and a LOT of people want to learn. WHY CAN'T I GET PAID FOR IT???? How can I find a way to make this talent pay? I've been racking my brains. I contacted adult education in my area--they told me that they are closing down most of their classes because their funding comes from Jordan District--and of course, there's no more funding for anything in Jordan District. Do you think that people want to learn this skill? Would they be willing to pay? Not that I'd charge very much--like $5 or $10 per class. I can't teach it in my lab at school, because I don't have Photoshop. I'd have to use a high school lab. And then there would be a fee to "rent" the room. I don't know. I'm just pushing the idea around in my head. Any ideas?

Thoughts on Summer (so far)

2010-06-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

I go through this every year--the huge change that is the summer. Don't get me wrong--I LOVE this change. It's amazing to me how quickly I get used to it. How soon I start to look back and think, "oh yeah. I have a job. Am I really a teacher?" This year is a little different, though, because summer doesn't mean weeks and weeks of me, me, me. Now it's weeks and weeks of Afton, Afton, Afton.

And you know what? I LOVE IT!!

This is not to say that by August I might feel ready to go back to work--after all, teaching junior high is much easier than being a full time mom. But right now I'm loving this. Afton has gotten a lot clingier to me. It's like she's realized Mommy is home all the time now, and whenever I take her somewhere she's afraid she's going to be left behind!

I have so much TIME. I make a goal to clean one big thing a day. Today I scrubbed the bathroom and vacummed the whole downstairs. And did a pile of laundry. But I still had plenty of time to spend with my baby. When I'm working, I only have a few precious hours--I'm lucky if the dishwasher gets loaded.

Next week I'm teaching at a business teacher conference. I WAS looking forward to it. Now it's like--wait...isn't that WORK? My mind is TOTALLY not focused on it! I hope I'm prepared! Good thing I did most of the preparation already, before school ended and my brain pretty much went into hibernation.

So here's some photos of my baby girl playing in the sprinklers. Well, she wasn't that interested in the sprinklers--she was all about the spigot. I love that one of her crying! I can't remember why she was grumpy, but I think it's a funny shot--especially with Tarzan watching calmly in the background...

Memorial Day 2010

2010-06-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

It's the calm before the storm. That last day of anything remotely resembling order. Tomorrow there will be activities all day, and the 9th graders will be at Lagoon, and craziness will reign. So today instead of having my kids do an assignment or something, I am just letting them play games all period. The advantage to having a computer lab. This leaves me with a lot of time to write on my blog. So I'm going to post pictures of our trip to Loa for Memorial Day!

Unfortunately, I don't have the SD card with our videos on it here--that's at home. So no video today. But here are some photos!

There were a few unpleasant bumps, but overall it was a very fun weekend. I look forward to Memorial Day every year. It's a big deal in Trevor's family. This year was particularly difficult, since Trevor's Grandpa passed away in December. Last year, he was at the cemetary with us, visiting the graves. This year, we saw his headstone for the first time. I totally bawled. He was such a great man. Every year the American Legion chooses the grave of a veteran to honor and play taps over. This year, they chose Grandpa, who fought in World War 2. Was an honor. It was very emotional. (To everyone except Afton, who kept running off until they shot the guns. I was holding her ears real tight, but she sure quieted down after that!)

We also went to Capitol Reef with the family and walked the Grand Wash. It's about a mile and a half, and I didn't think we'd make it the whole way with Afton, but she was a total trooper! She only struggled at the very end. We got some fabulous shots!

The worst part was when Afton fainted. That night, she was playing in the corner while we all talked. Suddenly she was crying--no ones knows why. No one heard her hit her head or anything. She stretched on the floor crying, held her breath, and then fainted for a few seconds. Scared the crap out of us. She went to bed really easy that night, and we were constantly checking on her. She slept 12 hours, and in the morning she was lethargic and had a fever of 101. She was pretty normal at the cemetary after that, only she fell and hit her head and got a bruise. I was surprised at the bruise because I totally saw her fall and it wasn't that bad.

On the way home she slept the whole way, though she woke of a lot. It was a very fitful sleep. Once home she was quiet. She wouldn't eat very good. When we put her down for a nap, she fell asleep right away, and we had to wake her up two hours later. Then she was even MORE lethargic, and we were nervous enough to take her to Instacare, who referred us to the ER. But she started to pep up, and the ibuproffin helped her a lot. Her fever went down. The doctor wasn't sure what tests to do. We did a chest x-ray--worst torture I've EVER seen her have to go through! After that, we were done. We didn't think she needed any more tests. We'll take her to the doctor on Thursday and see how she's doing. Today she's awake and alert and happy, but her fever is 100. Anyway, that was a fun part of the trip. My poor baby girl!

Well, that's all for now!

Seven Days - Seven Thoughts

2010-05-24T21:47:00.001-07:00

So, as of tomorrow, there are SEVEN days of school left. Actually, six and a half. WAHOO!!! This is SO my favorite time of year! It's hard to imagine spending entire days at home, with nothing to worry about but cleaning my house, keeping Afton happy, cooking dinner, going shopping, making appointments, finding babysitters, trying to get stuff done while a baby clings to my legs, wondering if Afton will EVER go down for a nap...hmmm...not so sure about this summer thing now. Anyway, in honor of seven days of school, here are seven random thoughts. No, this makes no real sense but I don't care.

1. Trevor is in school this summer. He won't get a break from school until he finishes nursing school in 2013--if everything goes according to plan. Poor guy. School sucks. And THEN he forgot to register on time so he ended up with awful classes at night. So pretty much the whole summer we can't do anything on week days. Either he works until 8:00 or has class until 10:00. Sucks SO bad.

2. Today I apologized on some kid's wall on Facebook for something I did in the 4th grade. We're friends on facebook, but not really FRIENDS. But I remembered how in 4th grade I was mad that he always got ALL the answers right on our timed math timestables, so when we switched papers to grade, I changed a few answers. Just so he wouldn't get 100%. He called me on it, but I denied it. What rotten thing to do, huh? And 20 years later I still remember it. So I apologized on his wall today. Bet he thinks I'm psycho.

3. I love reading my old journals lately. Right now I'm reading my mission journal. Fascinating. I served in South Africa. I found myself crying at one point--remembering a story about how my companion, Sister Valore, helped a poor boy one day. He was always begging outside a store we often frequented. Ragged clothes--he was about 12. And she just said enough is enough. She brought him in the store and told him to pick five things. Everyone watched. I thought he'd pick candy. No. He picked bread, fruit, meat, and milk. And only when Valore nodded at him did he pick an ice cream bar. Everyone in the store had tears in their eyes. I was bawling when I read it. How could I forget a story like that?

4. I won an award at school. I am the CTE Teacher of the Year for Jordan School District. Cool huh? Of course, no one knows because it was never announced. They announced in an email today that the son of one of the teachers won State. But no one mentioned I won an award. Should this bother me? Cause it does. But it was so nice to have some recognition by my district. I got a plaque and went to a banquet and everything. After two weeks of bugging the head janitor to put it up in my room, I got one of the other janitors to do it. Thank you, Hope.

5. Afton went to bed at 7:10 tonight. Can you believe that? Who IS this kid? That's a total first. Bless you, Baby.

6. I am teaching at a conference this summer. Its the business teacher conference. I always go--it's such a good conference. I offered to teach a class on Keyboarding Games, and one on Digital Scrapbooking. And they accepted both! And I'm teaching digital scrapbooking twice! Yay! I love teaching at this conference. Such amazing people. It's so great to get together with hundred of people who do the same thing you do. You learn so much!

7. I'm going to Loa this weekend! Hooray! I love going to Loa. We go every Memorial Day. Only this year will be really hard because Trevor's Grandpa passed away in December, and it will be hard to not have him there. It will be hard to visit his grave, instead of having him with us. It makes me REALLY sad. I mean, I cry over it. It's like he was MY grandpa. Maybe it's becuase he's so much like Trevor. What a great man he was! Still--it will be nice to get away for the weekend. And when I come back? Only THREE MORE DAYS! And the last day there is no 7th graders and since 90% of my kids are 7th graders--it's practically only TWO MORE DAYS!!

Ok, I'm done. Sorry this was random. But oh well.

Complainer or Problem Solver?

2010-05-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

So I've been told by someone I work with (who is in a position of authority) that I am a complainer. This really hurt my feelings. I mean, I was ready to cry. And for the last week I've been thinking a lot about this accusation. One thing about me is that whenever I come across something new about myself--whether positive or negative--I find myself somewhat fascinated. I can honestly say that when I recieve a critisim, I take a great deal of time thinking about it, deciding if it's relevent, finding examples of it in my past, and concluding whether it's accurate and if and what I should do about it. This critisism was no different. However hurt I feel about the way it was delivered, I have to ask myself if it's true.

I mean, we ALL complain. I think people are labeled complainers when they complain to the wrong people--to people who don't care or don't listen. I mean, I tell my husband all my concerns, and HE certainly wouldn't call me a complainer. But if you've got that lady in the office that is constantly harping about everything, and you have no real relationship with her--you are more likely to be unsympathetic and label her a complainer. So--AM I a complainer?

I've thought a lot about it. I've thought of the specific things I have complained about to this particular person. I certainly won't go into detail about what they are on a public blog, but I feel that with few exceptions, most of my "complaints" have been valid concerns. I've brought them up to this person, and because they don't genuinely care about me or my needs, they are labeled as complaints. Where this person sees "complainer" I see "problem solver." If I see something wrong, I'm going to speak up. I'm going to try and fix it.

Some people, when placed in a difficult situation, or when a concern arises--they don't say anything. They don't rock the boat. They sit back and take it. Many of my co-workers are like this. And they are like this because they knew there are people like me who will speak up for them--and take the consequences of doing so. I know all people are different and not everyone can be the spokesman, but I cannot be like those people. But apparently, that is what is expected of me.

So I'm looking back at all the times I've "complained." And I ask myself--did I just complain, or was I offering solutions? I guess that's the real difference, isn't it? My goal is that from here on out, when I speak up about a problem, I will also offer a solution--or at least make it clear that I am seaking a solution, not just venting frustration. I can vent frustrations at home to people who care about me. But not to an authority figure. I don't know that the difference will be noticed or appreciated by said authority figure, but there's not much I can do about that. I can only look at how I can improve myself, and do my best to do it. I just hope I actually DO do it!

Jordan District says "You can't have a baby. And don't get cancer."

2010-05-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

You know, I've been dealing with a lot of crap from my district. I've listened to arguments and problems all year about cutting teachers pay, and jobs, and all the crap they need to do to balance the budget. I understand that the money has to come from SOMEWHERE. I know the board has a really, really hard job. I feel for them--no matter what they do, everyone's mad. I get that. And I was relieved when teacher jobs were saved, without raising taxes--though I would had supported a tax increase.

But now, I'm livid. Because with the new budget proposal out yesterday, Jordan District has basically said, "YOU CAN'T HAVE A BABY. YOU CAN'T GET CANCER. YOU CAN'T GET SICK."

How did they say this? They are eliminating the Sick Bank. This is a fund where every teacher donates two of their sick days into a big pool. Then, if you have a special need and don't have the sick days to cover it, you can APPLY to get some of the days out of the sick bank. This is really useful for teachers who have cancer or some other awful disease. And I used 8 days of sick bank last year when I had Afton. Becauase, you see, JSD makes you use EVERY SINGLE SICK DAY you have, before they will let you use the sick bank. So after you give birth, you have NO MORE sick days until the next school year. So what do you do when your baby gets sick? Or when you get an infection? What the crap do you do?

Well, you take unpaid leave I suppose. It's very expensive. They don't just take from your paycheck what you would have made that day--no, they take some of your summer money too. If you work 180 days a year, they take 1/180th of your pay. So it's very expensive, especially if you are taking several weeks. The next time I have a baby (and NO I'm NOT pregnant!) I will have to take eight weeks for a C-Section. 8 weeks--that's what? Seven thousand dollars? Are you friggin' kidding me?

Ok, I know. There are probably a lot of jobs out there that don't give paid maternity leave. Maybe I'm just a complainer. Maybe I should be grateful I got it last time. Maybe I should just have a baby in the summer. And maybe I won't be able to get pregnant when I want to, and then my baby will cost me $7,000. Or, in other words, MY HOUSE. Cause if I have no income for 8 weeks, I can't make my house payment. So there's my choices. I can keep my house and have no more children, or I can have a child and lose everything else.

Being a mom puts me at a huge disadvantage. The district is full of teachers who are older without kids, who never use a sick day and have accumulated YEARS worth. And yet if you are a mom, you have maternity leave and sick kids and yet you don't get any extra days. They can't just give you "maternity" days. They make you use every day you've got. I think it's total discrimination.

So thank you, JSD. You didn't cut my pay, and I thank you. But I'll still lose my house one way or another.

The Many Faces of Afton

2010-05-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated in forever. Sorry. Can't think of anything to write. But I've got this! How cute is that??

My New Favorite Blog

2010-04-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

Ok. So one of my 9th graders (who is a TOTAL kindred spirit when it comes to reading) turned me on to this webside Sparklife. I just started reading "Blogging Twilight." It's about a GUY who reads Twilight and blogs about what he thinks. IT.IS.HILARIOUS. I'm sitting here reading it during 7th period while my kids are working on their power points. And I keep laughing OUT LOUD. I can't help it. It's that funny. Go read it. But in case you need an extra push, here's a few exerpts:

Edward admits that while hunting with his brother, he felt anxious because he was away from Bella. He says he's drawn to her for some unexplainable reason, and feels he must protect her. Not to belabor the point, but even when confronted with the most delicious sandwich or soup, I never felt the need to protect it from harm.

***

After reading chapter eight, where Edward nearly kills the guys that are picking on Bella, the author makes the following predection:

Predictions: On the way home, Bella gets stung by a bee. Edward freaks out, and struggles to resist the urge to kill the bee. Finally, he screams and bashes his head against the steering wheel to let out his frustration.

***

I think a more realistic conversation between two teens, even if one is a vampire, would go something like this:

BELLA: Hey.
EDWARD: Hey.
BELLA: What's up?
EDWARD: I don't know.
BELLA: Yeah.
EDWARD: ...
BELLA: Um...I like you more than you like me.
EDWARD: Shut up. That's stupid.
BELLA: No it's not. [Giggles]
EDWARD: I...uh...I...
BELLA: Yeah.
EDWARD: I like you more than you like me.
BELLA: For real?
EDWARD: Yep. [Looks at shoes]
BELLA: Cool. What's the deal with werewolves?
EDWARD: I don't know. They're so lame.
BELLA: Totes.
EDWARD: I know, right? I can read minds.
BELLA: Yeah, I know. You already told me that.
EDWARD: [Fiddles with shoe string] Wanna see how high I can jump, after school?
BELLA: Um...all right, I guess.
EDWARD: Cool.

***

Throughout the day, Edward asks Bella all kinds of random, boring questions, such as: "What's your favorite color?", and, "What kind of flowers do you like?" Nothing interesting is revealed. If I were him, I'd ask her important questions such as, "Since I'm immortal and you're not, eventually you're going to get old and busted. When that happens, is it cool if I date another 17-year-old?"

***

The next morning, Edward drives Bella to school. She tells us, "I couldn't imagine how an angel could be any more glorious. There was nothing about him that could be improved upon." Really? How about an eyeball on the end of a finger so he could look around corners without being seen? Or bigger calf muscles?

***

Inside the truck, Edward left a note that says, "Be safe." This is exactly the kind of note a parent would leave. Instead of being so intense all the time, he should have left something flirty and fun in the car, like a note saying:

Hey Isabelly,

I wrote this rap for you:

Promise not to die
And don't be a liar
I like to kill bears
'Cause I'm a vampire

Holla!

Later hater,
Ed-weird

P.S.
I want to touch your face so hard!

***

While hiking, Bella tells us once again that Edward is a godlike creature. We get it. She thinks he's hot. If you eliminated all descriptions of Edward, along with all conversations about danger and scenes of face-touching, this book would be nothing but a short paragraph or two about rain and badminton.

***

Why is Bella so irresistible to Edward? I have no idea. But since he wants her blood,
why can't he have some? A normal person can donate blood every few weeks. If Bella started now, she would have a whole cupboard filled with Eddie Treats in no time, and then the "I can't be with you. But I must be with you" nonsense could end.

Maybe he can just drink Bella's mother's blood instead. Or maybe Bella's mom and dad can get together, have another kid, and feed it to Edward. (But if they choose to do that, they shouldn't name the kid, because then they will get too attached.) I'm just throwing out ideas, because I'm sick of Edward complaining.

***

For a few more paragraphs he talks about how difficult it is being close to her. Edward has turned into a big whiner. Suck it up, man. I thought vampires were supposed to be tough and scary, not wusses who run fast and sparkle.

***

Edward also suggests it would be a good idea for him to meet Bella's dad formally. He asks if she will introduce him as her boyfriend, and she reflects that he's not exactly a boy. Maybe she should introduce him like this:

BELLA: Hey Charlie. This is Edward. He's my man-buddy. He watches me sleep every night. But don't worry. We can't "get busy" because Edward would kill me. So all we can do is smooch and touch our faces, which is so awesome. He eats bears. Anyway, we're off to an enchanted garden filled with rainbows and bubbles. Later.

***

While everyone is standing around and staring at each other, Bella notices the grand piano. You will never believe this, but Edward can play the piano beautifully. Moreover, he writes his own music and has composed a piece that was inspired by Bella.

He doesn't mention it, but I assume his song is entitled one of the following:

Dangerous Passion
Passionate Danger
Back Dat Up, Bella (Slap It, Slap It)
A Whiff of Bella In The Morning
Bella and The Lurker
If Spying on the One I Love is Wrong, I Don't Want to be Right
Back Dat Up, Bella (Slap it, Slap it) [Club Remix feat. T-Pain]

***

After that, he swam to France, for some reason. Edward says swimming is easy for vampires because they don't need to breathe air. While the ability to read minds didn't faze Bella, a vampire's disinterest in oxygen freaks her out. It's like telling someone, "Hey, I'm on fire," and she doesn't care. But then tell them, "I also have a headache," and they panic.

After swimming to France, Carlisle went to some universities, where he fell in love with medicine. He believed that by helping sick people, he could make up for some of the horrible things vampires have done. Maybe this is why Angelina Jolie adopts all those kids! It all makes sense. She must be a vampire. She has the sexy good looks, the overly dramatic attitude, and I've never seen her sleep or eat. Case closed.

***

After first becoming a "Pretty Night Thing That Bites," Edward followed Carlisle's orders and only ate animals. But then Edward started to rebel, which left Carlisle in a flurry of angst. Edward thought he'd be in the clear if he only killed bad people. I agree with that, and cannot understand why these vampires don't fight crime. They could wipe out terrorism overnight by hunting bad guys, but instead they opt to go to high school and drive fast.

OK I'll stop now. It's kinda cool how he goes through the whole book. Poeple comment. Some are haters, and some are big fans who are able to laugh at it still. I'm a big fan of this new website! (Sorry Jill!!!)

A Lesson Learned From the Past

2010-04-15T11:57:00.001-07:00

So I'm sitting here in 5th period, which is almost over, having just finished teaching an exhausting lesson in Excel. Required me to walk around a lot, check kids' screens, help them get caught up or fix their mistakes. Made me pretty parched. I came and sat down and went to take a sip from my mug--the big one you get at the hospital when you have a baby. I'm almost out of water. I should refill it. But the drinking fountain outside my door only fills it up so far, since the mug is too big. And I don't have time to walk down to the faculty room and fill it up myself. Maybe I should have a student do it for me.

And then I remember.

Mrs. Densley. 5th grade. She had this ten-minute close-of-the day routine that we did every day. Every person in the class had a job from picking up paper, erasing the board, and other such stuff. My job was to fill up Mrs. Densley's water mug. I had to walk down to the main office where they had ice and water, and fill it up for her. I liked my job. I liked getting to leave the classroom. I felt that Mrs. Densley must really trust me to give me a job like that. I liked Mrs. Densley. She gave out "good working pills" which was like jolley ranchers and stuff. Used to be smarties until some brilliant boys crushed them up and started to sniff them.

Anyway, 5th grade was also the year that I tried really hard to be popular. Totally failed at it, by the way. 5th and 6th grade were the WORST years--except for 7th, which was pretty much the worst year of my life. Anyway, one day while I walked back from class with Mrs. Densley's water, I thought how the girls I was trying to be friends with would think it was SO hilarious if I spit in the teacher's cup. So I did. And then I bragged about it to them after school. I remember feeling really guilty when I watched Mrs. Densley drink that water. But my desire to be popular totally trumped my guilt.

The next day, I can't remember how I rigged it, but I managed to get two other girls to spit in the water too, before I gave it to Mrs. Densley. I watched her drink it. I felt bad. The moment of triumph and attention I got was long over. I'm sure those girls don't remember. Mrs. Densley certainly never knew. But I remember.

Little did I know that one day I'd be a teacher myself, and I'd remember that action every time I ask a student to do something for me. I can't fool myself that they wouldn't do something mean, like steal or lie or cheat, just because I'm a "cool" teacher and they like me. They might have some friends to impress. And then no matter how cool I am, I could be drinking their spit. I'm sure Densley never would have guessed I'd behave that way--how many of the students I trust would spit in my cup if it benefited them?

Yesterday when one of my 9th graders asked me to try some salsa he made, I remembered Mrs. Densley. And I immediately refused. It has to be in a wrapper or I won't take it. Who knows what he put in it? Well, turns out its a good thing I declined--he'd put all kinds of hot peppers and jalapenos in it, and some kid had thrown up after trying it at lunch. So, lesson well-learned I guess.

Five Posts for the Price of One!

2010-04-06T20:48:00.000-07:00

I've got a lot of unrelated things on my mind today that I want to blog about. So here goes:

Chair Happy

First a video Trevor and I took tonight playing with Afton. I apologize for how dark the video is. It's becoming very clear that we need to get a new video camera. I got a new digital one at school and I LOVE it. It's so hard to go back to our old one--the viewer rarely works, it won't upload so I have to use my sister's old camera to upload it, and half the time THAT camera won't accept a tape so you have to load and unload it until it shuts up. (Though thank you, Nick, because without it I couldn't unpload ANYTHING) Contrast that with the digital camera--stick in the card and zip! Uploaded! That's it! Grrr...

Anyway, this video was taken tonight while Afton explored the wonders of her new Dora chair. Well it's not NEW, we got it from her cousin Millie--but Trevor fixed it up and I washed the cover and bam! New toy for Afton! She's laughing really weird in this video--I think it's because she's a little sick and she can't laugh normally. Or maybe she'll just really, really excited.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A Quiet House

Titus is gone. The house is very quiet now. I don't hear his constant meows anymore. He doesn't wake me up in the night. He and Tarzan are no longer fighting. Tarzan doesn't miss him one bit, and is turning back into the old Tarzan--playful and PRESENT. Afton doesn't seem to miss him, but she is taking more interest in Tarzan, and he is not a big fan of that. Things are settling back to normal. But you know what? We miss that cat. He was always so willing to cuddle and pur and be there with you. He loved my baby. He let her play with him. The house feels very empty without him.

Trevor's Newest Hobby

Trevor and I both "Hobby" people. You may know this after reading such blog entires as
My New "Bow"dacious Hobby, Useless Talents, The Hobby Hobbit, The Hobby Hobbit Strikes Again, and Behold, the Bat Mobile. Now Trevor has taken on a new hobby. This one--well, I'm not quite so thrilled about it.

Trevor is, apparently, a pretty good shot. He's been hunting with his Dad and brother for years. He also has mad bow-hunting skills. Napoleon Dynamite would be proud. But now he's decided he wants to go into the hobby of airsoft guns. He bought this huge expensive gun partially with some of our tax return (which he TRICKED me into giving him, might I add) and partially with his second job--donating plasma. That's right. He makes about $60 a week doing that. It's how he funds this new hobby. Once he's got all his "gear" he's going to go out into the wildnerness with a bunch of man-buddies and play war. I don't really get it. But he's pretty obsessed. What can you do?

Easter Fun

Last is a bit from our Easter this year. We had two Easter's, one with Trevor's parents and one with mine. I'm afraid the second session of conference was sacrificed in order to achieve this, (why have conference and Easter on the same day, WHY???) but I will try to watch it on lds.org. Anyway, Afton totally dug it. Here she is sitting with all the cousins on the Rees side. I never got a good shot of all of them looking forward, but I DID manage to get a shot of Afton stealing Rhiannon's chocolate bunny. She grabbed it and ripped the wrapper right off. With chocolate in one hand and wrapper in the other, she promptly dropped the worthless chocolate and went for the real treat--shiny wrapper! Yeay!

She got an Easter basket from her Rees grandparents. What we'll do with that chocolate she can't eat and I shouldn't eat and Trevor won't eat I'll never know! Then we headed over to my parents house and had yet another easter egg hunt. She TOTALLY got the easter egg hunt thing. She'd find one, pick it up, and throw it into the basket. So cute!

Easter Politics

Last, here's a little anecdote from our Easter Festivities. My mom planned a hunt for the little kids, in which the big kids hid the eggs. Then she sent me and Greg Bee downstairs to hide the eggs for the big kids, with the instructions to "hide them HARD." So we got pretty creative. Rusty joined us and three of us had a fun time thinking of the torturous places to hide said eggs. This year Mom had opted out of the candy thing and instead put in money. Some had a penny, some a quarter, some a dime. She WAS a little chintzy. So Greg decided to make a "golden egg" and pulled a five dollar bill from his wallet. He put it in an egg and then used a popsicle stick to lodge into the rafter of the barbie doll house. Quite ingenious, I must say.

So, the kids are looking high and low for this "free hand out" until finally Logan, Greg's son, finds it. The kids all crack open their eggs and count their winnings. Logan's twin, Bethany, is disgruntled to find that she only has 20 cents. Everyone else has at least a dollar! Greg opens up the wallet and hands her five dollar bills to keep her happy. We all go upstairs. A few minutes later, Greg Crockett comes up with the five dollar bill that Logan had left on the floor unattended and gives it to Greg Bee. Then Bethany comes up and explains that she felt bad that Gabe didn't get as much, so she gave him some of her money. But Gabe didn't want to just take it, he wanted to EARN it, so she hid it in an egg and made him look for it.

We came to the following conclusions:

1. Bee is a democratic government giving out free hand-outs

2. Logan is ungrateful of his free hand out because he didn't have to work for it.

3. Bethany is a democrat, because she's trying to redistribute the wealth

4. Gabe is a republican, because he insisted on earning his handout.

5. Afton might be a budding Democrat too--judging by the way she made off with this dollar bill a few minutes later...or does that make her a Republican?

Happy Easter everybody!

Karma

2010-03-31T08:28:00.000-07:00

What goes around comes around. We had a tragedy this morning. Trevor called me during 2nd period (just now) to tell me he had some very bad news. He was leaving to go to my Mom's to drop the baby off, and he saw a little gray kitty on the side of the road. He had to look. And yes--it was our little Titus.

He'd been hit by a car. Just like that, he's gone.

You may remember my entry about Titus last year. He's the world's most annoying cat. He meows all the time, in the middle of the night. He won't leave Tarzan alone and the two of them fight all the time--loud yowling fights in the middle of the night sometimes. He's not very smart--impossible to train. Sometimes I joked that I wouldn't care if he got hit by a car.

But then he started to grow on me. He stopped meowing so much. He and Tarzan were doing a little better, sometimes laying on the same bed at the same time. And best of all--he loves my baby. He will let her grab him and pet him and wrestle him. He doesn't leave when she comes near like Tarzan does--he goes right up to her and rubs against her. He never scratches. He's such a nice, good kitty, even if he IS a little dumb. I even did a page about it both my 2009 scrapbook and my Afton's 1st Year scrapbook.

So I started crying in the middle of 2nd period. Trevor picked him up and brought him home, and put him in a box. When I get home today we will bury him in the backyard. Poor Afton. I don't know if she's old enough to notice if he's gone. But he was her little friend.

The only one who will be happy, I think, is Tarzan. Though I wouldn't be surprised if he spends several weeks looking for his old enemy. Maybe he'll be like us, and realize how much we loved him only after he's gone.

Poor Titus. We will miss you, kitty.

But no. We are NOT getting another cat.

What I've Been Thinkin' Lately

2010-03-30T07:19:00.001-07:00

I have been feeling the need to update my blog lately, but can't think of anything to write. It's caused me to wonder--do I really think so little about things that I can't write about them? I mean, what do I THINK about? Anyway, whatever. So here's a list of just--stuff.

I started teaching my new quarter of kids yesterday. One of the best things about my subject is that I teach every single 7th grader in the school--for only ten weeks, and then they are gone. I wonder what its like to have the SAME kids for an entire school year? What do you do when you get total stinkers? Not that I can't handle the stinkers, but I suppose it would be harder to handle them for that long. Wow.
Speaking of school, I had an interesting experience last quarter. I have a huge two-week activity where the kids are put into groups of 5. You know how working with groups is--there's always that one kid that doesn't do anything. Well, my 7th period was full of those kids. So--I put them all in the SAME GROUP. All the slackers together. And you know what? They totally rose to the occasion. I was so proud of those boys. They worked hard. They HAD to. And they did a great job!
Here's something momentous--for two days now, I am eating right AND exercising--AT THE SAME TIME. Whenever I try to lose weight, for some reason I can never do both. Hope it works. I forgot, actually, how much I enjoy working out--well, when it's over anyway. You feel so good!
I found out when I went to the gym yesterday (for the first time since July) that my pass at Gold's Gym allows me FREE DAYCARE. What the crap? Are you serious? And she doesn't have to be older than 2? Why did I think that? Do you mean to say I could have been going to the gym ALL THIS TIME???? I'm SO kicking my butt this summer!
I am still addicted to the Sims. I can't play it very often or for very long, but I've had the Sims 2 for two years now and I am still addicted. When will it end? When? It's constantly crashing, takes up GIGS and GIGS of space (since I have a million downloads for it) and every now and then I have to re-install it because it won't load. It's a pain. Why do I put up with it? Why?
It's DEAR right now. That means Drop Everything and Read. My kids in 1st period are all reading. Some of them are sleeping. Some of them are staring listlessly at their books counting the minutes until the 10 minute bell rings. (They have 6 left) I am supposed to be setting an example by reading too. But I never read during DEAR. I don't have prep this semester--I teach 7 periods a day. I don't have time to read! But somehow I did have time today. So--I'm updating my blog. What a great example, huh?
I went to the D.I. on Friday. I finally admitted to myself that my clothes don't fit and I'm sick of it and I need SOMETHING to wear. But I refuse to go buy a ton of clothes in my new size when I really do not want to be this size. So I bought six shirts at the DI for 14 bucks. And you know what? They are CUTE. And I feel a lot better. And somehow, this motivated me to start eating right and getting healthy. Yay DI!
I need to buck up. When Afton was born, Trevor was unemployed and always there. We do everything 50/50. But now he's in school and working, and I'm so used to having him do the other half of the work. I need to stop that. He needs more time to study. I might just have to give up the Sims or something. But its ok--she's the cutest thing ever so its not that big of a sacrifice, right?
Afton gives kisses. I love it.
I can't think of a tenth thing. But who in the right mind makes a list of NINE things? No one ever makes a nine-point list. It just doesn't make sense. So there's the tenth thing--I like ten. Not nine.

Afton is ONE!!

2010-03-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

My baby is growing up too fast! It's amazing how it goes by so fast, and yet, life BEFORE her seems like AGES ago. I can hardly remember what it was like. How on earth did I exist day to day and not MISS her?

So yesterday we had a big party for her at my house. She was the center of attention and she was lovin' it. She got lots of presents, and was so excited about her new toys! We got her this little book called, "That's Not My Mermaid!" and she LOVES IT. She keeps licking it, actually, which is, apparently, the highest compliment she can give it. She turns the pages and listens to you read it and touches the "feely" parts of the book and she just laughs. So cute.

Her Auntie Andrea made her a "smash cake" in her cake decorating class. It was cute I hated to let her have at it. But it turns out, Afton was quite the lady. She just picked at it. She DID manage to get frosting all over her face, but it took a bit of time to get there. She was so careful! We gave her another piece of it today, and after sampling it awhile, she totally tossed it on the floor.

She also opened lots of presents, and then afterwards walked around with the BOXES and totally ignored the presents. Typical. Here's a picture of her that I just happened to snap right as she was stepping on the cat's tail. He didn't mind much--the cat is TOTALLY enamored of her. And here's another one of her playing with the lego blocks Andrea gave her. Isn't that dress cute? Seven bucks at Kid to Kid. Wahoo! And, of course, I made that ribbon to match.

We managed to take a couple of family photos at the birthday party too. It was so fun to give her a special day like that. I just love my little baby! The rest of these were taken today while Trevor was home with her. Then our battery ran out and we can't find the cord, so there goes that.

A Tribute to Strong Women

2010-03-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

Today I was driving past the Sandy Expo Center, and I saw a sign for the Home Show which is starting in two days. It made me think of my awesome sister Cindy, who is busily preparing to have a booth there. And then I thought about what an incredible person she is. And then I thought about my other sisters, and what incredible people they are. And I thought, "Man, I'm so lucky to have such amazing sisters."

My poor dear mother had five daughters in seven years. NOT on purpose I can promise you. And I'm sure it must have been so difficult for her when we were all small. But we sure are reaping the benefits now. I can't imagine what it must be like to NOT have a sister to call and ask random questions. Each of my sisters has an expertise in something, and if I need something, I'm sure that ONE of them will know.

My sisters are STRONG. No matter what they are up against, they find a way to conquer it. Cindy is starting a business--and everything is planned down to the last detail. She has spent her life doing things for free just out of the goodness of her heart. If you need something, she is THERE. She will drop everything--things that sometimes are a real stretch for her to drop--just to help you out. She's brilliant. Anything she tries, she can do. She was always the peacemaker in the family. The one that took me on "sister dates" when I was little, taking me to antique stores or driving down the Avenues just to look at architecture. She is an absolute expert at thinking outside of the box, and can tackle any problem and solve it with a completely unorthodox and brilliant solution. When I have a question, she's the first one I call. She's my human Google. She calls my baby a "mop-headed wildebeast" and she's totally dead on. I don't know what I would do without her. I watch what she is doing with this business--how she finds a way to make BIG things happen--and I'm just utterly amazed. One day she thought, "Hey, we should make a big playground in West Jordan." And then SHE DID IT. She and Jen teamed up and made the Wild West Jordan playground happen. Who DOES that? She knows how to make an idea a reality, and when she does it, she does it big.

Jen is the oldest. I think that she had the most influence on me to attend college. She just WENT. Even though mom's a beautician/housewife, and Dad is a carpenter, and money was always tight--she didn't let that stop her. She taught me that anyone can go to college if they want to. She went to BYU and got her education. She went on a mission, she married in the temple. She set a pattern that I instictively followed. She now works for a congressman and has the really amazing important job that she earned with volunteer hours, a talent for writing, and sheer brilliance. I am totally in awe of what she can acheive. And yet--she is so NORMAL. Sometimes I am so shocked when she googles over my baby or offers to babysit. She's not all snooty and self-important. She's just doing what she knows is right. I know for a fact that if she hadn't been there, my own life wouldn't have been the same. I wouldn't have known what I could achieve, if I hadn't seen her do it first. She is the ultimate oldest sister--she set an example worth of emulation, and yet never shoved it down your throat. She just DID IT.

Aundi is the third sister. I don't even know how to express what I feel about her. She is the one who doesn't look back. She doesn't wish and waste her life away. She is grateful for everything she has. She takes what she has, and she LOVES IT. And because she loves it, it loves her back. She has a wonderful life. Although sometimes her body is weak and betrays her, sometimes I think she is the strongest of us all. And she can talk your ear off. I'm not kidding. She says things with such conviction that you KNOW she is absolutely right. When I was a kid I used to repeat everything she said as gospel truth. Eh, who am I kidding? I STILL DO. She is so beautiful. She helps me with my ballroom team at school, and she loves every second of it. Aundi is the one who taught me about style, doing your hair, dressing up cute, and how to move. I watched her dance, and wondered if I could ever be as good. I never was, but I sure tried! And she sure helped me. I used to watch her get ready in the morning, and I'd wish I could be as pretty as her. And she's still just a stylin' now as she was then. Only--she's not pretentious like a lot of stylish people can be. She is a genuinely happy person. She doesn't brag. She is just HAPPY.

And then, of course, there's Nicki. Only 13 months separate us. We were not so close as kids, but things changed a lot when we grew up. Nicki was that sister that watched over me--winced at every dumb thing I said (which was A LOT) and silently cheered for every victory. She was SO COOL. Everyone thought she was cool. She's so smart, but she has the biggest heart. She feels things very keenly, and cares very deeply for the people she loves. She is absolutely gorgeous. The only one who got Mom's eyes, the lucky thing. She's the most educated, with a very difficult degree and an awesome job. But she isn't absorbed by these things. She knows what is important. She was there for me whenever I needed her when my baby was born. She'd had her third only 18 hours after me, and when I had a question, she was there--guiding me like she always has.

Of course--none of these amazing sisters of mine would be so amazing without one heck of a Mom. I think what I love most about my Mom is that she isn't afraid to be different, to do things different. She had a good father, but he was of that disposition that never says "I love you. I'm proud of you." Instead of carrying on that tradition, she broke it. She stepped away and said, "Not for my kids." We heard it every day. But she wasn't some gushy "you're so perfect" mom either. She'd tell you bluntly to your face what's wrong with you. Not in a mean way--but she knew she had to tell you or no one else would. She didn't sugar coat it or make us think we were all perfect and entitled. She loved us--and she DIDN'T TAKE ANY CRAP. I LOVE that. I like to think I've inherited a little of it. My mother is a strong woman. She taught all of us to be strong. It's ok to be different. It's ok to step outside the comfort zone. It's ok to speak your mind. Its ok to argue your case--but do so respectfully or you're DONE. She is always there to help me when I need it. It must have been so hard for her--living here in Utah away from her family, with no mother or sister to help her with her small children. She hasn't forgotten. And when I or my sisters need her--SHE'S THERE.

I feel bad not to mention my Dad--whom I love just as dearly. But this post is for the strong women of my family who have helped shape who I am. I've never really told any of my sisters how I feel about them--funny that its so much easier to do it this way! Anyway, as the youngest of five, with four such incredible sisters before me, it's hard to measure up. But somehow, we are never competitive with each other. We are genuinely happy for the good things, and we sorrow for the bad things. How could anyone fail with such amazing examples? How lucky I am to be the youngest--to have four sisters go through the world first and show me how it's done. I thank my Heavenly Father for them, and for my wonderful mother!

This family picture was taken around 1988. Yikes!

More Scrapbook Stuff

2010-03-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

So I've been trying to think of what to update my blog with and can't think of anything. So I guess I'll put in a scrapbooking update! I got my 2009 yearbook printed! Hooray! It's so exciting when you get your book back. It's all bound and glossy and beautiful! I was late getting it finished, since I have really been far more interested in Afton's book. Cannot WAIT to finish that one! It's going to be done right on time, I think, and I'll publish it this month after her 1 year birthday! So, here are some shots from the book I just published. I have sacrified the 12x12 size to get a nice 8 1/2 x 11 bound book which is much easier to store and carry and it's TOTALLY been worth it. Hooray for Cherishbound!

And here is a couple of pages from Afton's book. Oh it's gonna be so fun to see it all printed! This is the BEST PART of digital scrapbooking!

Whenever I try to look up ideas for digital scrapbooking, I'm so annoyed. I mean, every example is the same--a huge 12x12 page with ONE photo, lots of blank space, and a MILLION little doo-dads to dress it up. How is that practical? How long are these books people make where they only scrapbook one photo on every page? Where's the journaling--just as important as the picture itself? I feel a little alone in the way I do it but, oh well. That just makes me practical I guess.

Divorce - A Metaphor

2010-02-21T07:55:00.000-08:00

Fortunately for me, I havnen't had to deal with divorce in my immediate family. I have been very lucky. My parents have a loving and healthy relationship, as do all my sisters. And I have been so happy in my own marriage. But I have seen it's affects on some of my friends. I have seen how hard it can be, how it can rip a family apart and create resentment that can last a lifetime. I've seen how spouses, after more than 20 years since their split, can still hate each other with a heated and violent hate. It's a very sad thing.

There are many causes of divorce, but there's also the standard scenario you see in movies and sadly, in real life. Husband and wife work together for years to create a home, build up their resources, and educate and raise their children. Then one day the man just gets DONE. It's to hard. There's too many kids. What about what HE wants? Can't he have time for HIM? Does he have to keep sharing and compromising all the time? And his wife has gotten older--she's no longer young and pert. He wants the newer, younger model. He wants to shake off the responsibilities that come with years of marriage.

So he leaves. He doesn't ask the wife's permission--she gets no say in his decision. He takes with him all the resouces they have worked together to build, leaving her with little income and, of course, custody of the children. He gets a fast car, a new hot girlfriend, and lives high on the hog. The wife is enbittered, angry. Doesn't he care about all they worked for together? Doesn't he care about the welfare of their children? If he's a decent guy, he pays child support. Even alimony. He makes sure that, even if he doesn't want his first wife anymore, at least thier children are provided for. For they are, after all, the innocent bystanders in this mess. They are the ones who will pay for his choice.

It's an ugly thing. I have never experienced it myself--until now. Many have compared the Jordan/Canyons split as a divorce. And they are absolutely right. Canyons, desiring to have a hot new district with all the bells and whistles they can't afford without dropping the dead-weight of too many children, leaves Jordan. Jordan gets no say in the matter. They are just left behind with all the kids and no money to support them. Like the man in the scenario, Canyons takes all the resources, as well. With the dividing line between the districts being the Jordan River--far past the hotbeds of revenue-generating commercial properties like South Towne Mall, Winco, and Costco, not to mention all the commerical lined up on both sides of the 1-15 freeway, the resources are clearly leaning only one way. Jordan shops in Canyon's stores, because they are convenient and nearby. But Canyons does not shop at Jordan stores--they are too far away, and repeats of what they already have close to home. Although both sides contribute to the revenue coming from these places, only Canyons benefits. And HE WON'T SHARE.

This divorce has causes a schism in our valley like the North and South, where everyone is taking sides and starting use words like "Them" and "Us." A valley where Christianity is king, is now falling into a divided battle, where one side says--"we don't care about your kids. We don't care if they have a lesser education. We don't care if your teachers lose their jobs. We have what WE want. We have more money for OUR kids." Nevermind that many of the east-siders have children, brothers, cousins, aunts and grand-children on the west side. They don't care. They got their hot new car and they are happy with it.

We are calling for child support. Representative Bird is bringing out a bill to equalize the per pupil spending between the districts. This bill would allow Jordan to get some of the revunue from businesses they are already supporting. It would allow teachers to keep their jobs. It would allow us to keep our homes, as taxes go sky high. If you or your child is a victim of this divorce--DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Write to your legislators. Write to the education committee. Tell them to support this bill! I have--and have already recieved two emails from two different members telling me they are supporting it. This may be the only chance our kids have to recover from this ugly divorce.

My New "BOW-dacious" Hobby!

2010-02-05T16:58:00.000-08:00

So I've always been a "hobby" person. I've gone through various hobbies that have lasted for various lengths of time over the years. My oldest hobby is probably making paper dolls, which I still dabble in every now and then. I'll go through a few month's obsession, and then not do it again for a couple years. But, since I had a baby, this hobby--like most hobbies--has been pushed to the side for lack of time.

Then of course there's the old stand-by--scrapbooking. Like every other female in the 90's, I cut up my old priceless photos with reckless abandon--a move that I and pretty much every female in the 90's regrets. (Disclaimer: Scrapbooking nowadays isn't near as annoying and digital pictures have taken away the fear of ruining beloved photos. I am not bashing scrapbookers. End Disclaimer.) Anyway, I later discovered Digital Scrapbooking, and am much happier. It fits my personality much better.

I've tried other hobbies like crocheting--something I can do but am not all that good at--and singing--I got nodules on my vocal chords in 2003 and have never completely recovered--but now that I'm married with a baby and in "baby jail" I don't have time for a lot of my hobbies.

So now, I have a NEW hobby.

*What is it! What is it??* you all chant in excitement....

Baby Hair Bows!!! I went a little crazy. I bought a lot of stuff and just went for it. I made them first at a releif society shin-dig, and have been wanting to try it on my own ever since. So this week I just went for it. Started on Tuesday. And Afton is already sporting a ton of new bows! Not that she's all that excited about it. She isn't exactly the ideal model when I take pictures of them...

On the good side, its a hobby that is practical and has an actual use. On the bad side, Afton does NOT like the play quietly while I make them. She's pretty clingy right now. So getting time to do it is pretty challenging.

Well, here are some pictures of the ones I've made!

Here are the single bows. I love them! I just made the black one and the yellow one and haven't tried them on Afton yet--I hope the black one isn't too heavy! The blue one on the bottom was my first attempt at making a "Seattle Seahawks" bow to go with her Seahawks jersey that she's going to wear this weekend for the Super Bowl. But then I got some ribbon from Cindy that matched the Seahawks colors much better. I made these piggy tail bows:

So you can see the new cute Seattle Seahawks one. She will look adorable on Sunday! Though, I really ought to make her gold and black ones since I'm a Saints fan and MY TEAM actually MADE IT to the Super Bowl! (Ouch! Sorry Trevor! I love you!)

Anyway, I am very much obsessed with my new hobby. I guess I like the feel of something in my hands again--an aspect of scrapbooking that I miss now that I've switched to digital. I love choosing colors and ribbons and buttons and thinking of how they can go together. I am probably going to make a LOT more of them. Poor Afton. She'll be bow-bedecked for YEARS!!!

Well, I'll end this post with a picture of Afton wearing one of them. She was NOT a happy model. I took a ton of them, but this is the best I had. Sad huh?

Stubborn Like Her Father

2010-02-02T21:20:00.000-08:00

So, the other day Trevor was watching the baby while I was at work. She would NOT go to sleep. Frustrated, he decided to put her in the crib and let her cry it out. She knows how to stand up against the crib, so once you get to that point, you know she ain't goin' to sleep. Why? Because she's STUBBORN. I'm not stubborn. That's one thing I can say about me. That's the good side. The bad side is that I give in really easy and forgive people quickly--so quickly sometimes that I forget what the did and don't learn from it. And I expect everyone else to forgive ME quickly, which doesn't always happen. Anyway, I'm not stubborn. She gets this from her daddy. There are times when that kid ain't going down without a fight.

Do you want proof? Well here it is. After standing against the crib, crying, and INSISTING she would NOT go to sleep, she finally quieted down. Surprised, Trevor went to check on her. This is what he found.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Now, maybe out there in Mommy land you are nodding your head and saying, "oh yeah, ALL babies do that. My kid did that five times. A day. For five years. That is nothing new and exciting." If this what you are thinking, keep it to yourself. Because in MY Mommy land, this is friggin' hilarous.

Trevor, you ARE the father!

2010-01-21T18:36:00.001-08:00

So we had a nice evening over at Trevor's parents the other day. We watched slides. We have family slides in our family, too, but it's been a long time since we looked at them. Mainly because we have seen them so many times, we have them memorized. Plus, Mom had an album for each of us as we were growing up where she stored pictures of us. But it's not like that in Trevor's family. Albums--well, they just don't exist. Everything is on slides. And there's no way to have them all memorized, because there are THOUSANDS of them. I'm not even kidding. While my family may have the advantage in printed, easily accesible photos from our childhood, Trevor's family has the advantage of good photography. Mom had a way of having us stand in front of some sort of bush or tree in our sunday clothes. I have a MILLION pictures like that. But not a lot of in-action or up-close shots. Plus, poor Mom always had a pretty cheap camera. Add acid-filled albums from the 80's, and well, it's not pretty.

Eek! Is that them building SOUTH TOWNE MALL in the background? Wow.

I love how I'm totally distracted by the cat walking by in this one. Oh, and the socks are awesome too.

Don't get me wrong--I am SO GRATEFUL my mother bothered to take pictures, get the developed, and then put them in albums for us. Pretty ahead of her time if you ask me, in the days before scrapbooking.

Anyway, that's not really what this post is about.

Since Trevor's baby pictures are on slides, this presents a few problems. First of all, they are pretty inaccessible. It is of course possible to scan them or whatever, but this takes timing and planning, and since my father-in-law spent a whole summer organizing them by date a few years ago, he is understandably not very keen on giving you free reighn with them. Can't blame him for that.

Also, Trevor hasn't seen them that much. I'd NEVER seen them. Everyone thought that Afton looked like Trevor when she was born, and now she looks a lot more like me. Well, I couldn't argue. I had no baby pictures of Trevor to compare to, and my own baby pictures are pretty slim. I was the youngest of five--I was lucky I got fed.

So the other day we managed to snag some pictures of a few of Trevor's baby pictures after our slide-fest. And I have wonderful news. In true Maury Povich style:

Trevor, you ARE the father!

But then, there's also this:

So--she's pretty much exactly like both of us. She definately got his ears, but she's got my eyes. Either way, she's HERSELF and I adore her! (even though right now I keep having to pull her away from the outlets, which we have those kid safety things in, which she has figured out how to pull out...) (And yes, I am flipping the bird in this picture.)

...Counting My Blessings...

2010-01-15T20:18:00.000-08:00

Just before Christmas I watched one of my favorite Christmas shows--White Christmas. It's amazing how, back then, the musical numbers didn't have to make sense at all. Its ok to just throw in wierd costumes, strange lyrics and dance numbers with no real point. It was ok. Because the dancing was so incredible you didn't care. Like that one number--where Danny Kaye is singing "they're doin' choreography" and it's so hilarious--why does Vera Ellen suddenly appear in all pink and just have some random dance number that has nothing to do with the song? Why does she and her partner spin around on some wierd tri-cornered rollie thingie? Does it matter? No. this is the 50's. They could DO that back then.

Anyway, I digress.

Tonight I was sitting here wondering what I should write about, and one of the scenes from White Christmas came to me. It's one of the few numbers in the movie that is NOT a production number, and actually fits the storyline. It's where Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney--ok, Bob and Betty--are sitting in the lodge having buttermilk, and he sings this really sweet, short and simple song:

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

It's funny that this other verse does not appear in the movie--the one about the curly heads in the nursery. I didn't know it existed until I looked it up. It must be on versions he produced later. But it fits so well with where my heart is tonight.

My bankroll is getting small. I get so stressed sometimes. But then I think of when I had none at all--when Trevor wasn't working, and I was so stressed because we didn't have a direction for him. How it used to just NAG at me, until I could hardly stand it. And I count my blessings. My bankroll is still small--but Trevor is in school, he knows what he wants to do, and he is loving this direction. My bankroll is small, yes, but there is hope in the future. And, more, it's still enough. I have a home, and I am not about to lose it. I count my blessings.

And I think about the nursery, just next door to me, where sleeps a little curly head (I know 'cause I put a million rollers in it today) and I am so amazed that she's mine--that the love Trevor and I have for eachother created her. Sometimes I'm just amazed by that. I look at her little wiggling body, she makes these hilarous sounds, and I think--we MADE that. In one day--we express our love, and out of it comes an entire human life. It happens every day, but now I really know what a miracle it is. I count my blessings.

So I guess now I can fall alseep--counting my blessings!